Are you sure you should be doing that in your condition?

[PourquoiTuGachesTaVie]

If one more person says this to me I'm going to scream.

I'm pregnant with dc2 and strangely enough I have to get on with my life. That includes doing stuff like moving boxes, going into the loft (and climbing the ladder) and painting. Sometimes I have to carry my older child for varying lengths of time. Or get the shopping in which can include heavy items. All normal everyday stuff - I'm not trying to get on rollercoasters or go parachuting!

However I am an ADULT and therefore able to make decisions about my physical limations without having to be reminded that I'm pregnant (as if I could forget!). If I judge something to be beyond my limitations then I won't do it, same as if I wasn't pregnant.

I know this is probably old news but it's something I've noticed in the media and in life in general too; pregnant women are seen as vessels for the baby first and as people in their own right second. It especially irks me when these comments come from people who will never be in the position to put themselves second to another human in the same way a pregnant woman is expected to.

Phrases such as "You can't do (insert taboo behaviour here e.g: have an alcoholic drink, eat the "wrong" food, go running etc) in your condition!" Should also be banned imo. Anyone can do these things. Maybe some people shouldn't do these things, but that is not for some random person to dictate to another adult.

Are you sure you should be ranting like this in your condition?

Sorry. >

They don't know half the things women do when pregnant.

Hah! Just wait until the USA actually enacts it's first piece of 'pre-pregnant' legislation! Even not pregnant women won't be able to lift boxes, just in case she actually is pregnant and she inadvertently damages the foetus.

Sadly, this might well be a possibility, given the completely surreal way US 'foetus rights' campaigners are headed.

This is what women can do when pregnant: 8 months pregnant

The comments! Her child is apparently going to be born with shaken baby syndrome.

The unthinking is strong with those commentators.

"The unthinking is strong with those commentators."

Has anyone noticed that millions upon millions of babies were born in history to women who were too busy living to be "in a condition"? Or can we only cite Stone Age humans etc etc if we are talking about how tits are a bit like bottoms?

that article today about the woman who was 8 months pregnant and refused entry to a nightclub because she wasn't wearing high heels - there were lots of comments underneath that said that she shouldn't ahve been going to a nightclub at that stage, it was dangerous, she could have her drink spiked, get her bump knocked, might go into labour, women saying that because they felt horrendous at that stage of pregnancy they wouldn't have wanted to go to a nightclub so she shouldn't either

Bloody hell how do they think humanity was able to survive in the first place? Or are they the same kind of people who think women working is a newfangled uppity woman kinda thing? Thousands of years ago we just sat round the cave with our feet up doodling on the walls whilst the men slaved over a hot fire after being out hunting wooly mammoth all day.

Actually I think MRAs probably do think that, I remember reading a piece on a voice for very bitter men. I'm sure they said that it was Womens misandry that tricked men into doing all the work ever and we just sat on our lazy arses. Because women have never done most of the work and been entitled to none of the profits no sirree. Oh, in case your wondering, treatment of women under, for example, the Taliban is not misogyny it is the same misandry backfiring on us and all our fault. Poor oppressed menz.

It's the assumption (as with all these things) that all women's pregnancies are the same, and that women can't be trusted to know their own limitations and risks

Erm, how are women having their second pregnancies supposed to cope if they are not 'allowed' to lift anything heavy like, say, their firstborn?

Mind you, WRT to the general public policing of women's bodies, I remember being in a pub about 12 years ago (long before the smoking ban) waiting my turn at the bar and smoking a fag. And some man tapped me on the arm and said, 'You shouldn't be doing that in your condition.'

So I looked at him with cheerful blankness (because I knew what he was going to say and I knew he was going to be hideously embarrased) and said, 'What do you mean?'

And he shuffled his feet a bit and said, well, the baby, well... and I said (with an almighty amount of glee) Oh, do you mean you think I'm PREGNANT? Fucking hell, am i THAT FAT?

And he was so mortified he bought me a pint. Win. He might well not ever feel so entitled to comment on women's bodies again.

Ah, SGB, the pregnancy fairies can tell the difference between a 10kg child (caring and motherly) and a 10kg bag of garden waste (unwomanly and thoughtless)...

The comments on that article about the runner make me want to thump my head against a brick wall. (Most comment threads seem to do that, hmm...). Last time I vaguely looked into this (as an individual who enjoys sport and hopes to one day be pregnant), I came across an interesting piece of research which indicated that a woman who exercises a lot before pregnancy and then stops has a more difficult labour than a woman who never exercises much and then continues to not exercise much throughout pregnancy. So, basically... "in your condition", continue to do what you as a human being with freedom of choice previously did, but just use a bit of common sense and don't overdo it (just like this athlete, recognising that "normal" was slower and not pushing her).

It seems like a lot of this kind of stuff is just the world refusing to recognise that women might have the sense to know what their bodies can do, during pregnancy just as at any other time.

I had a lot of this too, mainly because I am very petite and I looked like I was carrying multiples (he was just a normal healthy sized baby!) and waddled a lot.

But I still had a life to lead and I continued my job and carried boxes of files up flights of stairs up until the final month, but was one day given a dressing down by a colleague who protested "anything could happen to that baby!". It really upset me and asked my midwife if I could harm him. She just laughed and reminded me of the women in Africa walking for miles for water, working for hours on ends in fields, lugging their other kids around with them, all while pregnant... there ain't no maternity leave there! Or childcare options... and, they generally still give birth to many healthy babies

This made me realise that actually I wasn't the selfish cow I was made to feel, and that actually my baby was pretty lucky

I am newly pregnant and noticing it all the time. Because anything that goes wrong has to be the woman's fault, not something that would've happened regardless. It's a way of controlling women and keeping them subservient

I had this a lot when pregnant with DC1 and working out in the gym. I was being sensible, tapering my workouts and listening to my body.
Eventually, in reposne to another person saying "should you be doing that" I replied
"No, not really, it will harm my unborn child but I don't want to change my workout routine"
The look on his face was priceless.
I skied too with DC1 when I was about 6 months pregnant. I was an accomplished skier, We took advice and DH and I made an informed decision.
The looks and comments I got suggested otherwise.

those comments! Genuinely frightening.

I think the appropriate response to a pregnant woman you are worried has over exerted herself is to say, "oh can I help you with that?". And if she says "no", well that's her prerogative. "You shouldn't be doing that! is never appropriate.