It's probably been shown before but it made me want to cry a bit

[Morrigu]

www.huffingtonpost.com/robin-korth/sex-over-50_b_5563576.html
Amazing post

I hadn't seen that before, thanks for posting.

Why did it make you want to cry? I'm curious. (And aged over 50.) It's a bit fluffy, but to me it reads "woman aged over 50 has enough self-respect to not give too much of a rat's arse about what some misogynistic fuckwit thinks about her body". She's not saying she was in any way crushed by his attitude, and tbh if it were me I'd be thinking "At least I didn't have to service his sexual desires while he tried not to vomit at my wrinkles."

I am aware this might sound a bit hostile, that's not my intention. I'm just wary of a touch of agism here. Sorry if I upset anyone.

I think it's much more likely that he has some sort of erectile dysfunction and was using the woman as an excuse. Even though he is clearly a very immature guy he surely has some idea what a woman in her 50s looks like, however well preserved she is because he is probably not the Adonis he clearly thinks he is either. I see she was too polite to comment on his likely signs of age e.g. man boobs, saggy dangly bits, thinning hair….

No way would I criticise a 55 year old woman for having a 55 year old body, thats just a whole truck load of wrong, nor would I feel I was doing her a favour in telling her how to project her body for my own sexual arousal benefit, massive privilege going on there IMO.

But some of the replies here miss the mark to me. 'Service his sexual desires' assumes she actually could; as well as assuming he still had them. Sexual desire is a funny thing but its not a car, it cant be serviced by a mechanic no matter how qualified they are or think they are. Sexual desire is the attitude of the driver of the car, not the car itself.

As to 'erectile dysfunction' grimbletart, sure- its quite possible but I have problems with your view. Getting an erection is not as simple as just wanting it to happen, you have to want it with the reasons that make it happen. Failure to achieve an erection does not make it a dysfunction unless you cant reliably get an erection in other circumstances. If he gets wood over 20 year old women in nurses uniforms or he is a dendrophile and gets wood over wood, or be what may, that is his sexuality to deal with.

But by invoking the 'erectile dysfunction' card you assume his sexual desire for her was actually there after she took her clothes off. I find that a huge assumption, one not born out by the authors commentary. In some ways its almost a get out of jail free card for the authors desirability in the eyes of oithers, you could re-write is as: 'he desired her but was unable to actualise that desire- thus in his bitterness he wounded her with his words'. Maybe so but maybe not. If he did not desire her sexually then he did not desire her sexually. Failing to express what he felt in a more mature and positive way, one that would be less of an assault on her sense of self esteem, that is his fault. Failing to desire her is not.

As a woman pushing 50, with saggy bits and wrinkles, I'd say bullet dodged on that one. The problem is not her body, it's that "David" sounds a misogynistic arsehole. (And I'd put money on the probability that among the younger women he's "spoiled himself with", there are plenty whose appearance he's demeaned - maybe no wrinkles, but I bet he's told them their breasts were the wrong shape, or their legs weren't long enough, or their stomachs weren't flat enough - any man who says what he said to the author comes across to me as the sort of man who gets his sexual kicks from demeaning and being cruel to the women he's with).

Actually Dad - I was trying to use a polite phrase, which obviously made it less accurate than I meant. As you say, he may or may not have had the ability to "get it up" i.e. maybe he just did not fancy her (in which case why go to bed with her in the first place knowing use was a 50 odd year old with a 50 odd year old body?) or he fancied sex but was actually just not up to the job and telling her he didn't fancy her was the route he chose to deal with it. I still think that is the more likely explanation.
Either way he wins no prizes for tact.

I'd like to think, if it were me (I'm not far behind her in years), I'd just feel kind of sorry for him.