This post on 10 things about raising boys has given me The Rage

[foxinthebox]

m.today.com/parents/10-things-i-wish-id-known-about-raising-boy-1D79911267

It appeared on my Facebook page and I am raging. I have both genders and these cultural stereotypes just make so angry.

Why do mothers enforce these boys run around more and get hurt rubbish?

And honestly, a penis does not disqualify you from cleaning the toilet if your wee should stray outside the toilet bowl. Do people put up with this kind of things?

"At the age of 4 she asked for a bra and heels". Jesus wept.

Actually - I wonder if a bit of posing isn't innate because DS1 can't help himself in front of a mirror - his head goes on one side, hip pushed out, posing and smiling at himself.

I don't have magazines, I'm not girly-girl, TV is more cartoons and sci-fi than anything that might have an influence so goodness knows where he got it from if it didn't come naturally.

The first two points of the raising girls one are ridiculous:

1. You'll buy her loads of girly stuff that you didn't have as a child

2. She'll be more girly than you.

Er, you think? Could there possibly be some kind of connection between the first point and the second?

You'll buy her loads of girly stuff and be even more excited by it than she is..

and then it say even though you try and be gender neutral she will still love princesses

Also yes, boys are obsessed with their genitils. Like ALL children. I could barely get a nappy on DD because I could never keep her hands away long enough.

and what adult woman calls a penis a "his thing" really?

Don't fight with dd about her hair...because it is her fucking hair. If you don't put loads of crap in your son's hair it's hardly a surprise you haven't got to battle with him is it?

Interesting girl one. My DD is 10. I put the fact that she does not strike sexy poses/borrow my clothes or any of that other stereotypical stuff down to the fact:

1. women's magazines are banned in our house
2. so are newspapers - we watch tv news or I read online
3. we monitor TV and computer use - no exposure to soaps ever and only 'U' films or select PG films
4. I don't spend money on my looks or clothes so don't have much in the house that she is likely to borrow
5. i try hard to find her adventure books that include female roll models
6. i do not let her listen to many pop stars for instance Rhianna, Jessie Jay because of the sexualisation. I've nothing against it, they are artists and they can express themselves how they want, only not within earshot of my DD.
7. if she watches something on TV it's almost always recorded - thus without adverts depicting women in swimwear whether it's for a car ad, cereal ad, toothpaste ad etc etc etc...

It may sound really strict in our house, but it's really not. It's really peaceful without all that media bombardment.

She loves nail varnish and clothes etc, but she only goes on who she knows - her aunties, me when I go out, girls in the street who stand out, her idol Taylor Swift, some celebs on The Voice, which is just about all the celeb exposure she gets.

Leaving magazines about is the worst thing I'd say.

I still remember DS, aged about 3 at the time, finding a pink dressing table and mirror in the Early Learning Centre (or "Pink Shop" as he used to call it) and sitting at it and primping and preening. I watched trying not to laugh visibly (was severly worried about my pelvic floor) and thinking "where the hell has he got that from because he has NEVER seen me do that?" The pervasiveness of wider culture is incredible.

And they say feminism divides the sexes . Boys and girls are more alike than they are different even in this insistent society that seeks to separate them as much as possible. As others have mentioned it is impossible to distinguish innate differences because of the socialisation that starts even when they in the womb.

BOYS

1. There will be planes, trains and automobiles.

Not so much. This is an entirely separate vent, but toys are a bloody conspiracy. No kid plays with them for more than a minute. Mine are coming up to 8 & 9 and they STILL make stuff out of cardboard boxes.

1. Boys don’t stop moving.

No more than my girls

1. Clothes shopping will be a piece of cake.

True for all of them, up until now. The girls are getting more vocal about what they like and dislike, him not so much.

1. His fascination with his penis starts sooner than you think.

From when he discovered it at one ish.

1. Roughhousing is innate.

They all liked it.

1. You’ll probably make a trip to the emergency room.

Twice. Same girl keeps splitting open her head.

1. Pee will be everywhere. Everywhere.

Not so much. But none of them remember to flush the fucking toilet.

1. You’ll learn not to compare your son to girls.

Or other boys.

1. The goofiness starts early.

Yes, but so did his sister

10. Boys adore their moms. They all do. After all, I am awesome.

GIRLS

1. You'll buy her stuff she doesn't need.

I did with both of them

1. She may be way girlier than you are.

Not really, neither of us is 'girly'

1. Her desire to borrow your heels, jewels, handbags and more will start as soon as she can walk and talk (and grow from there).

One of my girls dresses up in my stuff, the other not so much. My son wears my bras sometimes

1. Everything starts early.

Compared to his twin, he crawled, walked and talked before her.

1. She'll strike a sexy pose.

What?! No!

1. You'll relish the excuse to read "Black Beauty," "Nancy Drew" and Judy Blume again.

Substitute with The Magic Faraway Tree, and yes. Shortlived though when I clutched pearls at the sexist undertones.

1. She'll likely go through an "I'm only wearing dresses" phase.

Never did. Now it's only shorts.

1. She'll hoard ... everything.

Not really

1. You'll fight over her hair constantly.

No.

1. Clothes shopping will be a piece of cake.

I told my DSs they are buying their own clothes from now on - had enough of "it's too black, it's too white, it's too yellow, it's not yellow enough, it's too long, it's too short etc etc etc".

however:
10. Boys adore their moms.
They all do. After all, I am awesome.

My feelings exactly.

OMG, I have 2 DDs and have just read the "10 Things about Girls". Absolutely none of it is true for my two daughters, with the exception that one of them likes being read to (the other one's not bothered). Nearly all of it is about looks - supposedly girls, and their mums, are obsessed with pink, hair, dresses, looking sexy, clothing accessories, make-up. Well not here they're not (and my girls are 9 and 12).