Feeling a bit offended..but not sure why

[magicstar1]

I was out a couple of weeks ago with my bike club, and we were parked outside a restaurant. A man was looking at all the bikes, admiring them, and when he got to mine he looked surprised and said "Is that yours?" I nodded, and he said "Well done you...fair play to you girl!"

One half of me was laughing, but the other half was thinking "I'm a 39 year old woman, and just because I'm female it's a shock that I can ride a big bike???"

What do you think?

a motorbike?

The redundant "girl" is a bit .
But as he was surprised rather than dismissive, perhaps it was a learning experience for him and next time he meets a woman who rides a big bike it will be less of a surprise for him.

Sorry..yes it's a motorbike. I get a lot of men being surprised about it, but I can't understand why.

agree with Mrs Cakes. He would have been surprised because it's unusual. That's just statistics. Saying 'fair play, well done' is just being positive.

I would interpret that as a sign of goodwill from a man who hasn't had the benefit of a feminist consciousness raising.

Because it's not the norm. Nothing wrong with being different though!

I'd love a big bike, but the reality is that I'm not strong enough to manoeuvre them when stationary. Fair play if you do have a big bike.

As someone who thinks bikes are beautiful but is much too scared to ride one (I have tried) can I be nosy and ask what sort you've got?

I understand your half and half feelings totally, magic. On the one hand he was being positive and supportive. On the other he was impressed - which means he thinks you are e.g. big enough, strong enough etc. to be a bloke, who are by default, better.

It's a backhanded compliment. Meant well but implicit, though I'm sure he would be mortified if it was pointed out to him, that women are somehow special and better if they do stuff normally associated with men.

I had my own classic backhander many years ago when an acquaintance of mine in my local pub met my father for the first time and said: "Is that your Dad? He doesn't look old enough to be your father." Did he mean my father was young looking or I was ancient looking? I know he meant the former, but I still thought "should I be flattered or annoyed?"

Different situation, similar foot in mouth 'compliment'

that women are somehow special and better if they do stuff normally associated with men

Reminds of the: "Your DH does the cooking, laundry, cleaning etc. how lucky for you!" stuff that gets trotted out!

Different context obviously tho'

grimbletart..that's exactly what I felt! I'd feel terrible pointing it out to him as he was being nice, but he shouldn't have to say anything really.

LurcioAgain I have a V-Star 1100. It's a big cruiser and does get lots of admiring looks :-)

I just remembered one guy who wouldn't believe I could ride it, so I told him I pop it in my handbag and carry it around all day, as I couldn't possible drive something so big. He got how ridiculous he was then lol.