Explained feminism to nearly 6 year-old DD1

[SeriousWispaHabit]

I lurk a lot on this board but don't really post. I have always had feminist views but have kept a lot of them to myself at times. Inspired by DD1 tonight though and will try and engage more, as gender inequality is something that bothers me every single day and something she said tonight made me want to try harder to fight against it.

She asked for a chat instead of a bed-time story tonight, as she sometimes does. Not sure how but we ended up talking about relationships and respect for each other/sharing responsibilities in the household. we discussed how Mummy and Daddy shared the jobs in the house between us because that is fair. I couldn't help but point out that in a lot of households it isn't like that and she was beyond outraged

She kept asking about other things that weren't fair so I explained about feminism as a concept, the gender pay-gap and under-representation of women in positions of power and responsibility (in very simplistic, 6-year old terminology obviously). She was very unimpressed and very cross. "It's like having a shark in the swimming pool" was her response.

I asked her to explain and she said "It's like the boys and girls are both trying to learn to swim but we have a shark in our swimming pool trying to eat us, so it's not fair".

That is how I feel every single day at work. Exactly like that. She has given me the rage back and I don't want to lose it again.

Great analogy. You can explain that the goal is not just to put the sharks in the other pool but to get rid of the sharks. It still isn't fair but we have far fewer sharks than we used to, or than girls do in other countries, but the sharks are still there.

You can point out as well that the boys worth knowing (like dad) get in our pool to help us fight the sharks, they don't just swim around in theirs where there aren't any (arguably not really true, you could point out that boys can face prejudice if they want to do things that seen as 'for girls', like dancing or being a SAHP when they're grown up).

Very hard for children to understand the concept of inequality when they're used to being told everything must be done fairly. Alas we can't protect them from it forever.

She might like the , although possibly a bit young (younger than the girls in it).

What a great way to describe it! to your DD!

She's too young to be worrying about feminism. Let your child be a child FFS!

I know what you mean OP, I think one thing about children is that they expect things to be fair, so they are genuinely outraged when they hear about injustice. As adults it's easy to get used to it and stop noticing. My older DD is 7 and we've had a few similar conversations. And she loves the Like a girl video.

Thanks for all the nice comments.

Tribpot, those are some very good analogies and I will use them thanks

Debbie, yes I do stop noticing sometimes. The injustice of lots of things is at the front of my mind at the moment though and I'm going to try very hard to keep it that way!

Birdo thanks for that. I know she is a child and she plays with Lego, dolls, play doh, etc etc. Sometimes though , she likes to chat and that is the way the conversation went. She was interested so we talked about feminism. She seems to have escaped emotionally intact; I hope however, that next time someone suggests that she shouldn't be doing something because she is 'a girl' that she argues back and stands up for herself.

Yay for your dd!

Well done serious' DD. It makes me so that we as a society do this to our children. It's so not fair.

Why's she too young Birdo?

My DD's always been interested in the world around her. I explained feminism to her at a young age (maybe 4, definitely 5). It's important to me. It informs how I see the world. It's important to her too. Some of our conversations about feminism were prompted by her asking me questions like "why do some people think pink is for girls?" or "why did a boy in my class say that girls are rubbish?".

Never too young IMO!

Good for your DD OP.

My 10yo DD and I sat together and looked through the recent thread about reversed sexism. It is the first time we've sat down and specifically talked about feminism and sexism, but it seemed to go quite well as DD was able to come up with her own examples of sexism and we talked through some of the idea that came up. Plus it was very funny in places.

How lovely that you're having these conversations already. I love her shark analogy! She's 6 - more than old enough to notice the world around her and how people relate to each other. What would you have told her Birdo - not to worry her pretty little head about it?

Birdo - if she'd asked why, say, one of her classmates had been told not to use a racist or disablist or homophobic term should OP have also said "oh, you're too young to worry about why we don't say that"?

Brilliant that you are having these conversations with your daughter at such a young age! And seems like she really got it with her shark analogy. Wish I'd been able to discuss such things with my mum rather than growing up with the idea that men were more important than women. The more confidence and awareness you can instill in her the better.

So glad things have moved on. I hope she grows up believing that she can do anything she sets her mind to.

Love it! Hope your DD doesn't mind if I adopt her expression.

Birdo, I disagree. Many kids have a very keen sense of fairness and really see the injustice in the world. It's important that they do not grow thinking this is right or to be expected and that there already exists a whole bunch of people who see things the way they see them.

I think the analogy is great, and you speaking to your DD is fantastic. Birdo - it's not as if OP went in there explaining in depth the plight of women/inequalities - she responded to her DD's question, which is both validating and opening her mind. I think it's a brilliant thing to do and would do the same thing.

Inequalities isn't a concept that is always obvious to children and it's important that should a child notice inequalities, they are explained rather than fobbed off. As a child, I could never understand the discrepancy in some treatments and wished someone had explained it to me then!

There has been some research in the US looking at racism and how we have to talk about racism to our children (whatever colour they are) and talk about positive role models. If we don't they will look athowsociety is organised and follow the 'rules'. The same must be true for sexism. So, Birdo yes we should talk to our daughters and sons about sexism and feminism.

Thanks for all supportive comments. It's amazing how much young children can take in if we give them the chance.

I remember being aware of sexism when still at primary school. We had a male teacher who used to ask for some 'big, strong lads' to help him carry P.E. equipment and the girls weren't allowed to help. I was absolutely outraged and got into lots if trouble for arguing back about it. I hope DD is able to stand up for herself against that kind of thing rather than just accepting it.

The shark analogy is a great one, and tribpot too! they would be so useful to talk to DD and DS about feminism! Both of them don't get the concept very well- instinctively, they think we should all be fair, but some small inequalities like, in my DD's case, when there was no opening for girls to do football- when there was a junior and infants football club for boys specifically, which she'd be annoyed about but not connect it with all the other examples/sexism as a whole.