"Don't be such a pussy"

[PourquoiTuGachesTaVie]

I was reminded of this by the "like a girl" threads which are running atm.

I've always assumed the phrase "don't be a pussy" was derogratory to women, however I've recently discovered it's actually derived from the word "pusillanimous" which means to lack courage.

Considering the phrase "pussyfooting" can also be defined the same way, it now seems obvious to me where the "pussy" insult actually came from. And I'm quite pleased it didn't originate from an insult towards women, even if unfortunately it's now has that association.

I'm hoping I've been correctly informed on this but if not I'm eagerly awaiting someone to correct me before I start telling other people my new knowledge and embarrassing myself.

i always thought it was like a scaredy-cat

Oh really? I thought it meant 'vagina' in that context. There you go. You learn something new every day.

I have to say, though, I would never say 'Don't be a pussy' myself. I'd say 'Don't be a cunt.' I secretly love the fact that that word for my sexual organs is considered the baddest badass of the swearing world.

Well yes, a "pussy" can refer to a vagina, which is why whenever I've heard the term "don't be such a pussy" I've assumed they meant "don't be such a girl" iyswim?

Don't know about "wuss" Kim... off to google.

That's interesting and also, that's why I assumed "pussy" was also an insult along the same lines as being "sissy".

I think that believing that anyone saying 'don't be a pussy', actually means 'don't be pusillanimous' rather than 'don't be girly' is very, very generous of you some may say naive

It's often 'don't be A pussy' anyway, which wouldn't make sense if hey actually meant pusillanimous.

Declaring it comes from 'pusillanimous' rather than from pussy-as-in-fanny is a pretty ridiculous, deceptive and smug defence. Maybe...maybe at one point it did, but very, very few who use it nowadays are aware of that when they use it.

It certainly remains a gendered slur in my eyes.

Totally Ramsay, what I meant (sorry if I wasn't clear) is that although the phrase now is unfortunately used to mean don't be girly, I was quite glad to learn that it didn't start out that way. Random stupid thing to be pleased about I know

Oop, sorry...re-read thread and saw that. You were clear...it was me

I have, though, seen a man defend his 'such a pussy' remark (on Buzzfeed comments ) with a link to the OED definition of pusillanimous. It riled me because he knew exactly what he was saying when he wrote 'pussy' but there were other people apologising for calling him out on his gender slur

Could be its said/understood more as a gender slur in the UK, what with Are You Being Served and all? In the US when Ice-T was referring to men as 'pussies' in his rap music there was no connection in the term to the body parts and behaviours of black women.

Erm, how was it not gendered?

Pussy means women's body parts in the US as well.

And being a pussy means being weak and pathetic like a woman.

Also not sure why you would focus on one skin color?

Does it actually matter whence the word came? Everyone, especially Americans, acknowledges that it is a gendered slur and is meant to imply that the person so called is weak and pathetic, you know, like girls are.

And the point about Americans not calling it pussy, or that black people don't call it that is utterly ridiculous. Where is most porn made? Honestly, the knots some people will tie themselves into to avoid acknowledging that insults are gendered are eye popping!

I secretly love the fact that that word for my sexual organs is considered the baddest badass of the swearing world

One skin color? Because that is what it was, rap music back in 1990 was an expression of US black culture, Vanilla Ice went down in flames trying to get into the genre because he was white. The music world had to wait for wider acceptance of rap music before people like Eminem could catch a break. Connections of the same used terms change place to place is all I said, just because we share the same language does not mean everything we say has the same depth of social context nation to nation. That said I do not really see the huge societal imbalance of 'dont be a pussy', my daughter relates conversations with her girlfriends to me where they say 'dont be a such a dick' to each other. Its not as if, in being told that, a girl is going to turn around and say thanks for being referenced as having the qualities/penis of a man, because its not used as a positive.

however I've recently discovered it's actually derived from the word "pusillanimous" which means to lack courage

Who said so? It is an unfortunate derivation, if so.

Vanilla Ice went down in flames trying to get into the genre because he was white shite

I think that's more accurate. Lumping in Vanilla Ice and Eminem because they are both white is a false comparison. Sorry not sorry if I can't raise an army on behalf of failed white rappers or mankind for the use of the word "dick".

I just read it somewhere and didn't believe it, so I did a bit of internet digging and "pusillanimous" led to "pussyfooting" which led to "pussy" as in "don't be such a pussy". I have no idea when/why a vagina became associated with the word but the little bit I found out seemed to suggest the phrase "don't be such a pussy" didn't originate as I thought it did - as an insult about being a woman.

I really don't think I'm explaining myself clearly here but I don't know how else to say it. And I did say if anyone can correct me then I'm happy to be corrected! I just thought it was interesting.

This is quite interesting in the 'don't be a pussy' discussion (regardless of origin):

imgur.com/gallery/zFwAcdB