What makes you a feminist?

[HappyGoLuckyGirl]

And I mean, you, personally?

Tell me the reason(s) you call yourself a feminist. Certain things you do/believe in/think women or men should/ shouldn't be able to do?

I'm trying to work out if I am one or not.

I am not denying that misogyny exists, just that not everyone has been a victim of it, and what one person deems sexist, another doesn't.

The fight against FGM, forced marriage, rape etc is vital.

I am just uncomfortable with the idea that feminists seem to think that all women are oppressed by the patriarchy

"I am just uncomfortable with the idea that feminists seem to think that all women are oppressed by the patriarchy"

my understanding of it is that the patriarchy (Which isn't a person or a thing but more of a societal norm if that makes sense) DOES effect all women, even the ones who don't believe in it or feel they are effected by it because it is such an ingrained thing. it's the reason why my husband says things like 'There are Maggots in your food bin'.

Why am I a feminist?

For the sake of my son. I don't want him growing up thinking that it's normal to dismiss people's feelings because they are hormonal or have their period (men) or because they are not very good at sharing their troubles with their friends (Men).

I don't want him to think it's acceptable to lift another child's skirt in the classroom to look at their pants.

I don't want him to grow up thinking that he deserves a heap of praise because he took his own children to the park or made them dinner.

I also want him to grow up thinking 'what can I do about it' rather than 'but not all men' when ever there is a discussion about rape and sexual abuse.

"However I would never want to identify myself as one due to the more "extreme" opinions (eg PIV sex is always rape etc) that seem to be prevalent."

Where do you work/live where the opinion that PIV sex is always rape is prevalent?

Because I'm so sick of looking around me and seeing frankly mediocre men doing better than brilliant women and not even having the humility to realise the in built priviledge they have.

Plus men who don't do their fair shard of chores and child care - especially when it comes to the boring and mundane stuff.

Because every day I see the penis premium at work

I find it baffling that practically every other group, movement,political party- whatever- we consider ourselves to be members of,we are happy to say "well, there are some things I don't agree with, but in general this group broadly reflects my views"

Only when you're talking about feminism do people say "oh, I won't identify as a feminist because in 1974 a feminist sad something extreme that I don't agree with"

Right now it's because I asked/told by some "why do you use the NHS to get a baby actually they treat my blood condition thus saving me from thrombosis in pregnancy, not that MY body matters when you earn more than your husband and don't intend to be a SAHM?"

That's my latest reason. There are a lot.

Basically I would just like a world where people get treated as people, not body parts.
Where relationships haven't got all this societal baggage about who-earns-what and who 'deserves' what.
Where people regardless of the gender they identify as, how they dress and their actual body, are treated with good grace, opportunity and kindness.
Just a more fair and logical world really.

I meant that there are extreme views on some of the boards on here that make me uncomfortable. And even the more moderate views don't always make sense.

I am not saying that there is anything wrong with feminism per se - just that I don't define myself within it.

And if I sound like my life has been plain sailing, it hasn't. I was raped at 15 by a "friend", but I understand that this was something that HE did as an individual, not something that all men do.

If I had a partner and/or children, I might feel differently about it.

I was raised by my mother who was a feminist, as was her mother and I believe in equality of opportunity for men and women. Equality can only be good for humanity and should not be determined by gender.

I was the first girl at my high school to take a technical subject and some people looked down on me for entering a man's world. The other girls couldn't understand why I wanted a career and independence instead of marriage and motherhood. In the midlands in the 1970s, if you were a girl, you left school, got married and had children. That was it. Anything else was seen as odd.

Equality equals freedom and power for women.

I am a feminist because I am sick of the world being this way. I don't want future generations to go through this.

And there are terrible things happening in the world in the way of racism, homophobia etc - those are worth fighting against.

I just feel that to be a feminist is almost to accept that all women are victims automatically, just because they are women, when that is often not the case. And if they don't feel victimised, they have been "brainwashed".

Because I refuse to act according the the 'this is what men do and what women do.

It's as complicated and as simple as that.
It starts with refusing to do all the hw in the house to having the same attitude to work as DH (ie this IS important stuff, not to be brushed away).
It's about refusing to always be the one that should be picking up the dcs because they are ill.
It's about teaching equality to my own dcs do they realise that women aren't supposed to be catching fojng the washing up (thanks school!)
And in more general terms, it's about supporting women (friends or colleagues) when they are taken for granted by men (be it their DP or at work)

m.youtube.com/watch?v=UwJRFClybmk
Pretty much sums it up! It's Laci Green, she's a great youtuber, my daughter adores her (and so do I )

I want equality for men and women, therefore I am a feminist. Anyone who is in favour of equality for women and men is a feminist, however much they might shy away from the title "feminist" as it is deemed "crazy" and "hysterical" by society, as a result of sexism being so ingrained in our culture that the vast majority cannot even see it any more.

And I think my thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/2099831-What-sexist-behaviour-would-be-the-most-shocking-if-reversed shows a lot of aspects of sexism that usually go unnoticed

Abbey, yes, I spend time fighting against homophobia too. Being a feminist doesn't make somebody less likely to care about homophobia.

abbey I actually think that most women are subjected to misoginist views.
Sometimes it's obvious as some posters have shown. Sometimes it's not as obvious (eg when I worked as engineer, they thought nothing about telling me I was wrong in the middle if a meeting whereas the same 'manager' would never have done that with a man. (And I was right btw, it just happens that they didn't want to do that).
Sometimes it's even more hidden such as it's the man who us always called to do some diy or to borrow some tools. But is always the woman who is called first by the school.

Tbh I am not English. I was raised in a contra that would be said to be very 'macho' but I've never encountered so much prejudice against women than I have here.
And I starts very very young when the Y1 teacher was telling me that it's normal for boys to do better at maths than girls because... They are boys. Whereas girls do better at litteracy. And then they wonder why there is already a gap in maths between boys and girls. A gap that is never sen in my home country where more girls than boys would do triple science, triple maths etc at Alevels and would get better results too!

"I just feel that to be a feminist is almost to accept that all women are victims automatically, just because they are women, when that is often not the case. And if they don't feel victimised, they have been "brainwashed"."

Could you say what a feminist is to you? Because I think it must be very different to what one is to me....

I don't want him growing up thinking that it's normal to dismiss people's feelings because they are hormonal or have their period (men) or because they are not very good at sharing their troubles with their friends (Men).

Yep. The idea that boys just are badly behaved and don't communicate well. Fed into by the fact most (unpaid and paid) childcare is by women because it's "woman's work" so responsible men who might be able to empathise and help boys work things out are woefully thin on the ground. So the little boys copy what they see... and are told it's because it's natural.
And another generation of women go into 'soft' and 'caring' jobs.
And another generation of men go into 'logical' jobs.
And you get another generation of baffled mums on the internet insisting boys are just so different they can't be understood
Forever.

One of the biggest issues is that those who oppose feminists still present a certain kind of 70s-80s feminism which represented 'what is traditionally female' as weak. This was a misunderstanding about signifiers of femininity which were forced on women (e.g. dresses) being a bad thing - but it got misrepresented as a new set of enforced rules (which I lived with as a child). Act more like a boy to destroy the patriarchy. I can remember being advised to hide my chest (not in terms of modest dress: hide the size of my breasts- wear a minimiser- because they smacked of 'woman' too much).

That just isn't feminism, thankfully in fact, to me, the opposite. It is about being free to behave, without harming others, with personal choice and dignity.

I don't label myself as feminist, but I certainly believe I should have the same rights and opportunities as a man, as well as obligations and responsibilities. And that choices made my women or men have similar value.

Can I ask why you don't call yourself a feminist, then?