Please can someone explain "x is a male issue" to me?

[LuisCarol]

For upfront clarity, I am a man.

When people say domestic violence is a male issue, what do they mean? From a post on here just a few hours ago, "Mass-murder is a very male problem."

What can I do about it?

Tell other men not to hit women.

You're the same gender as other men, so you are held responsible for what they do.

I don't agree that DV is commonly termed a "male issue". It affects women, obviously. Do you mean that you feel uncomfortable when people point out that men are mainly responsible for violent assaults/murders?

The vast majority of violent crime is committed by men, so resolving violent crime is an issue that needs to be aimed at men. (Not much point in telling women not to trip and fall on an abusive man's fist, really).

In addition, there is a huge amount of evidence that even men who don't commit violent crime condone or tolerate it quite a bit (again, not all men, not even a majority). And, men who commit these crimes are disinclined to listen to women. So - men need to be the ones who work the most on discouraging other men to be violent.

If you're not the kind of man who puts up with crappy sexist comments, lazy stereotyping and off-hand sexist jokes, then you may well be doing everything you can be already. If you know men who are like that, then they are more likely to listen to you than me (a woman).

Really - it's a societal problem. Because who really wants to live in a society where we have to worry about muggings, street crime, rape and domestic abuse?

Do you mean that you feel uncomfortable when people point out that men are mainly responsible for violent assaults/murders?

No, I mean I don't know what to do about it.

Ah, ok, I can help you with that- let me find the link I'm thinking of.

Vila, do you realise that you are sounding like an MRA provocateur?

Thank you, vilacuwubi. Now I want to listen to BOFster.

Right, the post I was thinking of that is relevant is this one. It explains why it's important, as a guy, to have the courage to stick your neck out and say "Actually, that's not funny". It's about rape jokes specifically, but I think it applies to general violence against women too. The message, basically, is don't be a bystander.

Men have a really valuable role to play in showing other men that this shit really isn't acceptable.

LuisCarol what to do is be proud of being a decent person, be a good role model to men (especially if you have sons) and call twats other blokes out when they spout hate/ sexist jokes. Racism is quashed by zero-tolerance, only when men and women unite and refuse to put up with sexism will it be consigned to the history books.

An example- a few years ago I overheard a'gentleman' chatting in a bar, saying women should be banned from being referees as they didn't know anything about football (there was a sexism row at the time). None of the other blokes challenged him. If that was you OP, you could have said something and told him he was being a tosser. I wanted to but I was intimidated.

With regards to murder- well I don't have an answer for that. I feel that sexism can be eradicated through nurture as opposed to nature, but I don't known how I feel about murder and the prevalence of male murderers- is it a mental health issue? Are men more susceptable biologically to insanity? I can't comprehend it therefore cannot justify the reasons.

And if you end up getting punched for it, just tell them punching is wrong.

Ok Vila, I think we get the picture. Who was it that said sarcasm is the lowest form of wit?

I won't be feeding the troll any longer.

Vila noone said anything about confronting people based on overheard jokes...

Hi again Vila.

Which one of our regular PBPs are you?

Thank you all for your help.