how many working mums rely on their own mum for unpaid whilst they work?

[Owllady]

I think this would be an interesting discussion to have alongside the the sahm one.

My mum worked in the 70s/80s whilst my gran and grandma looked after us
My aunt worked full time whilst her mil looked after hers
My cousins who work rely on their mum's to pick up childcare
My sil did the same with my mil

I worked around my h for the 15 yrs since we had children, or I used a childminder. It became intolerable to work though 18 months ago. My parents/in laws have nit even babysat for us in a decade and a half.

That's still loads of women picking up the childcare if the discussion is to be had, in my family any way

[worldgonecrazy]

My parents are full-time carers for my DD as we both work long hours. If we didn't have them around, then DH would have to give up his current job and look for something more flexible/part time.

[Andcake]

Dp looks after ds whilst I work - mostly a sahd. My mum has done a day when DP was sick and I had to work.
DP and I would probably hate to have our mums round all the time - we love seeing them but for fun - also we are a bit older so naturally our mums are late 60's as well but I'm not sure their ages have factored into it - it's just we are independent adults who wouldn't dream of having kids we couldn't afford/manage to look after ourselves.

[IShallCallYouSquishy]

On mat leave with DC2 at the moment but I can count on one hand how many times I needed my mum to help with childcare when at work with DC1. It was purely for my night shifts if DH was going to be home later than I had to leave. He would know well in advance so could give my mum plenty of notice and would be a couple hours at the most.

My day shift she would be at childminder.

[weatherall]

This is something that pisses me off about my mum, and my dad for that matter.

They had free childcare for work when I was a baby though primary school.

My dad's aunt was basically my nanny from when I was 6 months old for 3 days a week.

My GPs had me after school.

However when I had my DCs, even though they had semi retired (and were only in 50s/60s) they saw me paying out £400 PCM for childcare as a single parent.

Years later in still struggling to pay off the debt I got I to to pay for childcare (didn't get childcare tax credit).

It really pisses me off.

[CPtart]

It's hard to not feel resentful weather. I have memories of sleepovers at my grandparents but my DM just doesn't seem that interested. Ds1 has slept over once when he was 12 months old and we went to a wedding and Ds2 never has done. They are now 9 and 11. Childcare has cost me over £50k over the years and I'm still paying for it. I have a one hour window once a week to cover after school but no, she won't do it.
(Is currently in Lanzarote completely forgetting Ds2 birthday last week. No card, no present, no text, nothing.)

[Andcake]

I am shocked by people feeling 'resentful' of parents not helping - I know circumstances are sometimes not easy but childcare was something we definitely have taken into account when planning our family and I wouldn't expect anything of our parents even though we see them regularly.
It's nice if they offer and do - but 'resentful' seems harsh.

[deepinthewoods]

agreeandcake. OUr children are our responsibility- our parent's raised us, they have no responsiblity to care for our children. If they do then that's a bonus, not a right.

[Thurlow]

On a day to day basis, DP and I both work f/t but different hours/shifts so we do all the drop off and pick ups and don't have any family doing regular childcare.

Having said that - FIL and my parents both live within about an hour's drive, and are both relied on in emergencies.

My DM is better with having DD than I thought she might be, but before I had children she did - nicely - make it very clear that she has raised her children, she doesn't want to be doing it all over again.

Though I am making long-term plans based on them probably moving to our town when they retire and so being able to help out a little more with older DC

[HugoTheHippo]

My MIL will be taking DD for two days a week when I go back to work soon. She'll be in nursery the rest of the time. I'm very happy about this arrangement as it'll save us money and I'm glad DD will forge a strong relationship with her Gran, but I wouldn't say we're relying on it. MIL offered, she wants to do it, we gratefully accept.