how many working mums rely on their own mum for unpaid whilst they work?

[Owllady]

I think this would be an interesting discussion to have alongside the the sahm one.

My mum worked in the 70s/80s whilst my gran and grandma looked after us
My aunt worked full time whilst her mil looked after hers
My cousins who work rely on their mum's to pick up childcare
My sil did the same with my mil

I worked around my h for the 15 yrs since we had children, or I used a childminder. It became intolerable to work though 18 months ago. My parents/in laws have nit even babysat for us in a decade and a half.

That's still loads of women picking up the childcare if the discussion is to be had, in my family any way

[trixymalixy]

My Dad looks after my kids 2 days a week. My Mum is there when he looks after the kids at their house, but it is my dad that does the bulk of it.

[NinetyNinePercentTroll]

Nope. Every bit of childcare we've needed, we've paid for.

Luckily our children are beyond needing it now.

[NinetyNinePercentTroll]

Same with me growing up, my mum went back to work FT when I was a toddler. I went to a childminder.

[MummyPigsFatTummy]

My parents look after DD (4) one day a week and have done since she started nursery when I finished mat leave. DH's Dad looks after her one afternoon a week having picked her up from nursery, and the odd time he can't do it, my Dad does, so not just female members of the family by any means.

I do realise how incredibly lucky we are.

[MummyPigsFatTummy]

Not lucky because the men do it btw. Lucky because of all the help we have. It is lovely too because DD has very close relationships with all her GPs.

[mimishimmi]

My parents live over an hour and a half away. DH's live overseas. MiL has done a lot of care for BiL and SiL three children right from the birth of their first - DH and I worry about mil/fil because bil/sil work long hours and have expected mil to leave her husband for months at a time to come and live in with them. They did have a nanny and other household staff when SiL worked for the U.S embassy in India but none of that when they moved back to the U.S. Still, mil is a grown woman and can make her own decisions.

[beenheadhunted]

My mum (well, both my parents now but initially my mum on her own) provide free childcare every week for my DC. I would still have been able to work if we had to pay for childcare but obviously things are easier not having to pay. My kids have a brilliant relationship with my mum and she loves it so it's win win but we are very very very grateful and know we are very lucky.

[BobPatandIgglePiggle]

My mum has ds one day whilst dp and I both work. She is looking after ds for us both.

Pil both look after ds another day.

[skrumle]

it's my father who provides childcare support for us, and there are several other grandfathers who do the after school pick up at DS's school.

in another town we lived in it was far more common for grandfathers to be doing childcare support - there had been heavy industry nearby that closed down and the women ended up working while the men didn't so a generation later it was the men who were available to provide babysitting.

[mousmous]

apart from having dc for a few days during hols, never.
and even that wouldn't be neccessary, really.
but I realise that I am lucky with a well paid 9-5 job and a husband who does half the pick-ups/drop-offs and sick days.

[TheSarcasticFringehead]

I don't live in the same country, so none at all (and DH is a SAHD). A lot of people I know have their DC going to their grandparents' houses- usually their mother AND father together at the same time.

[CMOTDibbler]

Not in my family. DH and I pay for every moment of childcare, as did my aunts on both sides, and my parents

[deepinthewoods]

None here- In laws are dead, as is my father. I am a carer for my disabled mother so she needs support from me.

[ThatBloodyWoman]

Yes.Heavily.

Childcare would cost more than my hourly wage.

[ThatBloodyWoman]

It is hard for her though.
Her health is bad.Both Dads are now dead, and mil is geographically distant, and housebound.

[BrokenStar]

It's not just grandmothers, my dad looks after mine and there's plenty granddads at the school gate too. Even in the 70's when I was a child my dad did his share of the childcare as my mum worked nights. As a LP, I would be seriously poor if I had to pay for childcare.

[jasminemai]

No I dont both of mine are in 40 hour a week childcare. One has been from 4 months until 6 years and still going, and the other from 7 months until 2 and still going.

[Neeko]

My mum and mil do alternate Fridays during term time. I appreciate it so much as the DDs get to spend time with them and get to come straight home after school/nursery. I also depend on my sil for a Monday afternoon during term time. I'm really lucky.
Despite that help we are still £640 a month on child care. No idea how people on minimum wage manage even with tax credits etc.

[EhricLovesTheBhrothers]

My parents have DS for a week 2x a year in the Xmas holiday and spring half term so that helps, but I wouldn't say I rely on it, and it's more for them to have fun together than for childcare. It does save me £100 a time though!
If mum lived closer she would have him regularly, maybe one day a week, but she lives 200 miles away :(

[BitOutOfPractice]

I live 150 miles away from my mom. So no, I don't.

And my mil who lives 6 miles away has never even babysat, let alone done regular Childcare. But that's another story

[Ragwort]

As an older mum , quite a few of my friends are grandparents and often feel 'obliged' to offer childcare even if they don't really want to (yes, I accept that some GPs enjoy providing childcare). It can be a huge burden to have to be available to look after young children/babies when you have retired, I cetainly wouldn't want to provide childcare if/when my DS has a family.; the occasional night babysitting is different. Often these women (let's be honest, it is rarely men) are caring for their elderly parents as well.

One of my friends regularly cares for her four young grandchildren whilst the parents have lovely holidays and trips away - it is hardly providing 'essential' childcare for working parents. I feel very sorry for her but she is practically 'bullied' by her over-bearing son and DIL to provide such care.

It is certainly not a 'feminist' point of view (IMO) to expect your mother to look after your own children .

[ThinkIveBeenHacked]

My DD goes to my DM part time (I work FT shifts so she is only there when both DH and I are at work), however she is a Regustered Childminder who works ft.

We pay her (a reduced rate) as DD takes up a place. She didnt want to take money but I am using a place she could fill full time.

MIL and SIL help with the odd evening or overnighter (night out once every 3/4 months).

[crunchyfrog]

Mum has mine every weekday morning, she works in their school so brings them there as well. 2 days they go to paid ASC. 1 day Mum has them after school. 2 days my aunt has them. It's a lot!