Please help me clarify my thoughts around this Mother's Day Assembly...

[CranberryCookie]

I'm a longterm lurker... need some advice...

I'm very much of the opinion that I should save my complaints to the kids' primary school for important things (I don't want to become "that mum") and it's mostly a good school.

But today has enraged me: Mother's Day Assembly, in a month where there seems to be something every week that I have to attend school for. It was at 2pm, finished by 2.30pm, and school pickup isn't until 3.25pm! So an extra 90 minutes out of my working day for a half hour assembly! But it's ok because they provided tea and coffee after so I could gossip with the other mums for an hour (never mind that I work for myself and am basically losing money while I'm standing there). Can you imagine them doing that for a Father's Day Assembly (and I'm pretty sure there isn't a Father's Day Assembly).

I know I'm being a bit bah humbug - it was sweet - an event where each class in infant school sang a song or said a poem, but it just rubbed me up the wrong way. The song my son's class sang included the line "She may not have a degree, but she helps me with my homework, and that's what matters to me."

Actually, I do have a degree, as do lots of mums at the school (and the kids don't even get homework in infants!).

I just feel it's sending the kids the wrong message. Mum's time isn't important, Mum doesn't have any qualifications, being a wonderful mum is all you need to aspire to if you're a girl...

I really want to take it up with the head, perhaps informally as he's often standing on the school gates, but am I being a bit OTT?

I could do with some help to clarify my thoughts before I approach the head...

I was lucky enough to work in a school that would have hooted in derision at those words.

I'm a teacher & this is my first year at this particular school & the cleaning, shopping song was played in hymn practice this week-I couldn't believe it! My jaw nearly hit the ground. In the staff room not one person agreed with me, I got 'oh it's a lovely song' & people thought I was being dead stroppy
In schools' defence about timings of assemblies most schools I've worked in try & do them 1st thing or to finish 10mins before end of day- just enough time for staff to get children sorted for going home
Finishing at 2.30 & expecting you to sit around sounds mad

'There's not much feminist thinking in most staffrooms I visit.'

I agree that any days celebrating family can be loaded,even Christmas can be a minefield. I've often handled a tricky mother's day by enabling a child to make a card for the most significant woman in their lives, as a thank you. Likewise for Father's day. In some religious schools, they make a point of celebrating St Joseph who wasn't Jesus' biodad, but was there for him on all the occasions that a boy needs his dad.
The choice is either to be as sensitive as you can be, or to ban any and all days like this from the school.

It's really a song in appreciation of the Stepford Mother.

Celebrating St Joseph's Day sounds v thoughtful. That song, on the other hand, is appalling!

DS1 told me about their Mothers' day assembly that they had last week. He said that the teacher was talking about how mums do all the cooking and cleaning and shopping etc etc (no song thankfully!).

DS1 (he's 8yo) said he was listening to it thinking "Dads do that stuff too, it's not fair saying that and Dads would be offended to hear this"

He said he was too shy to voice this view to anyone, but I was pleased to know that he understood that the message the assembly gave was not great. We don't even really talk about this much at home, it's just something that he's observed I guess.

I spoke to the head on Monday morning and he was clearly shocked by the words I quoted to him - he agreed with me that there were massive issues with stereotyping around that song in particular and also with the whole assembly, and it was also clear that others had spoken to him about the timings - next year it will be in the morning.

He said he would get the song lyrics from the teacher and have a read through.

How positive mawbroon - I hope that my children will be absorbing more from the fact that dh and I both work and do chores than they are from the messages they get at school.

goblinchild - I was clearing out my son's book bag and one of the notes mentioned a "special person's assembly" but then elsewhere it was called a Mother's Day assembly, so at least one person at the school tried to be sensitive.

Can't believe the utterly lame song!

Well done CranberryCookie for speaking out!

I've come across this song too. It's bloody irritating frankly. So for your full reading pleasure, here are the full lyrics:

My mum’s one in a million, I’m sure that you would agree.
I wouldn’t say that she’s perfect, But she’s the best one for me. Sometimes she can get grumpy, And sometimes she gets upset,
But I still know that she loves me, And that I’ll never forget!

CHORUS
Oh! This is a Mother’s Day song for you. Mum, you’re ever so special and I’m Gonna find ways to say I love you too!

My mum’s ever so clever, She may not have a degree,
But she can help with my homework And that’s what matters to me. Sometimes she can be stressy, Sometimes even she shouts!
But I still know that she loves me, And that’s what certainly counts!

CHORUS

My mum’s really an angel, She’s great at caring for me.
She does the cleaning and shopping, And makes a wonderful tea! Sometimes she is too busy, Sometimes she is worn out,
But I still know that she loves me, And that’s what this is about!

CHORUS x 2

My mum’s one in a million,
I’m sure that you would agree.
I wouldn’t say that she’s perfect, But she’s the best one for me.

These are obnoxious lyrics - Mum is either stressed out and shouty or cooking and cleaning.

this is written by someone who didn't actually like their Mum or enjoy being a Mum.

I think the cleaning and cooking comments are actually worse than the degree comments.

Essentially it says Mums are a bit stupid, suitable for household chores and always grumpy and tired - but hey, they love you...

The lyrics fill me with rage! It is not the image I have of myself as a person and it is not an image I wish anyone to have of me.