Come and tell me what you think of girls schools...

[worriedsister30]

My ex wants out dd to go to a girls secondary school. In fairness it is a lot better than the coed school that is our other choice.

But the feminist in me is saying no... I can't quite pin point why but it seems dangerous to segregate like that. If dd is to receive the message that we are equal, it makes no sense to send her to a girls school.

Am I reading too much in to it? Is this not a feminist issue?

I went to an all girls school for a time.

I found it to be very unhealthy, especially considering that had no brothers.

I wouldn't want it for my dd's, but if it was unavoidable I would definitely make steps to ensure they had plenty of interraction with boys of similar ages.

i would have thought that 'the feminist in you' would prefer your daughter to go to a school where she will not be sexually harassed and shouted down and made to feel inferior in 'boys subjects'?

In Ireland it's the norm to have single sex schools. I went to an all-girls primary and secondary. Primary was rubbish but that was due to the school. Secondary was fantastic. I absolutely loved it. No one cared what they looked like and the culture was very much one of respect and achievement. I feel very lucky to have attended it. I suspecty teen years would have been very different without it and not in a good way.

I am certainly a feminist though Nigella, yet I found I was jettisoned out of my girls school situation, wholly unable to interract with boys, and tbh quite scared of, and intimidated by, them.

Looking back, it made me very vulnerable in the company of boys.

There is more to life than academics. Girl schools are nasty bitchy places.

I feel that having boys and girls seperated creates an artifical enviromnent and both of them are less mature. For example when I went to university there was a girl had sex with every lad on the rugby and rowing team. I found that boys who had been to all boys schools were very immature compared with those who had been to a mixed school.

We don't have single sex work places. A woman has to learn to deal with domineering males if she is going to be sucessful at work or in relationships.

'Girl schools are nasty bitchy places.'

Generalisation much?

I have a slightly unusual perspective on this.

My two boys went to an all girls school in Pre-Prep (they took just a few boys but had to leave at age 8) and then we sent our boys to an all girls school. They were the only boys in the whole school.

They now go to a co-ed school.

My view is that the 'Diamond' structure is best. Co-Ed Year 1- 6. Then single sex classes in Year 7 - 11 but joining together for social activities. Then fully Co-Ed again in Sixth form.

We nearly picked a school where that Diamond structure was in place. It works well because you get socialisation between sexes but girls and boys do operate differently in classroom settings and I think separating for lessons makes sense.

I went to a single sex boys boarding school that went Co-Ed in the Sixth form and my DW went to a single sex Girls Grammar day school that had a brother school on the same campus. My wife was a lot more used to boys than I was of girls.

My all girls school was not a 'nasty bitchy place'. On the contrary it was a nurturing, unthreatening environment with some great feminist role models on the staff. I will definitely send my three daughters to girls-only establishments.

Liking the idea of the Diamond Structure mentioned above, though. Can certainly see the merit in that.

BeerTricks - "....given the opportunity to mix for social, drama and sporting events etc"

Yes that's how it works. Leeds Grammar do it and Shrewsbury High School (its a Girls Day School Trust school) has a mixed Prep school but boys have to leave after year 6 so it is single sex after that. Magdalene College School has just become mixed in Sixth form but is single sex boys from Year 6 - 11. I also know the Abingdon School (boys only) and St Helen and St kathrine (girls only) are next to each other and there is interaction at sixth form.

To be honest if the local boys private school goes mixed in the Sixth form is usually the death knell for the local girls private school. Once it has lost its sixth form to the local boys school a girls school goes into a death spiral.

There is a 'girls school in our town where that is happening. Soon the most academic girls migrate to the 'boys' school as it usually has better facilities and their brothers are there and frankly some girls do just hate the 'bitchiness' of a girls school. DW hated her girls Grammar for that reason and always got on much better with men albeit benefiting from being able to maths and science without pressure form boys.

I went to a girls' secondary school. I have a brother so was able to socialise with him and his friends.

My dd is an only child, so she is at a co-ed school. I want her to spend time with boys and learn how to deal with them early on. Just like she'll have to do as an adult.

Dale Spender did a lot of research about this in the 80's. "Invisible Women, The Schooling Scandal" is the one that looks at the way girls and boys are treated differently in the classroom.

I loved my all girls' school but it did leave me a little bit unprepared for socialising with boys. However, seeing as I was the only one in my university tutorial group that didn't allow boys to talk over me, I think that the socialisation going on in co-eds isn't all positive!

Personally, I think all children probably benefit from single sex education in the formative teenage years (albeit with some opportunity for socialisation).

However, I do agree boys will generally do better in co-ed environment than girls.

My 13 year old dd is thoroughly enjoying her all girls school and absolutely does not feel she is missing out on anything from having no boys around. I am secretly rather pleased about it all, although I can also see the arguments in favour of co-ed.

The pressure to 'have a girlfriend' is affecting DS1 quiet badly in a Co-Ed environment and it is affecting his work. It becomes the most important thing about the school day for him.

He says the girls are under a lot of pressure to 'have a boyfriend too'.

I suspect in single sex that doesn't happen so much.

I attended an all girls school but one that shared a social curriculum with the local all boys school.

Looking back I'm very grateful that it didn't even cross my mind that certain subjects or careers were deemed to be more suitable for boys. It was ingrained in us that nothing was beyond our means if we put in the work and dedication and whilst that was stretching things a little, the positive message was one that all girls ( and boys ) should receive.

If anything, attending a single sex school probably delayed my feminist thinking as I had little awareness that society outwith school judged women so rigidly or that simply being a woman would come with constraints.

Every single girl in my year attended further education, whether vocational or academic, with the majority going on to study STEM subjects. How is it that of those women with such ambitions and capabilities less than 10% are in senior positions today ? A quick flick through the former pupils newsletter for my contemporaries who attended the all boys school shows a much higher proportion in senior management.

Just goes to show that even if you give a girl the advantage at school of operating on a level playing field, it doesn't take long for this to disappear after school/university.

I know that there are arguments that single-sex education does girls good, academically at any rate, and issues have been raised by other posters suggesting them to be good in other ways too, but personally I would HATE for my kids to go to single-sex schools - my DS and DD! I went to a mixed school and have always had equal numbers of male and female friends (possibly a slight bias to male friends if anything given I went a university college that was 75% male). I much prefer mixed company and feel perfectly comfortable in a group where I am the only woman. I really think this comes from growing up in an environment where friends are friends, male or female, and ultimately people are people! I don't think of my friends as being a group of women and their partners - I am usually friends with both halves of any couple I know. When people I know talk about having a birthday party with 'the girls' coming round, it seems really odd to me, as if I did that then half my mates would be missing!

I really think it is good for human beings to learn to form relationships in all their various friendship hues with both genders, and I think that only really comes with growing up with both genders in your daily environment.

Interesting thread as I'm considering girl's secondary school too.

DD's schooling has been similar to the Diamond method mentioned upthread, though I've never heard it called that. Her lessons are mostly single sex but she has plenty of very nice non-sexist boys from the boys school that it's joined with who she socialises with.
I don't agree that the girls learn to socialise with boys better at co-ed, more that they're socialised to defer and give way to the boys.
In DD's school the girls take up space, make noise and seem to feel entitled to do so, whereas a lot of the girls who stayed in co-ed seem to spend their time on the sidelines watching the boys (to make a broad generalisation).
The less sexism they encounter on a day to day basis, the less they will put up with it when they do meet it imo.

I think regarding the socialisation issue, that a single sex day school plus mixed extra curricular activities certainly worked fine for me.

Just wondering if anyone went to my school! I was also at an all--girl secondary school and found it to be a very positive environment. Definitely NOT a nasty bitchy place.

I have no difficulty socialising with men - never have!