wwyd? dds detention

[ilikeyourface]

Today in school dd was in history, andc they were learing about how Women helped in the war. A boy in her class ( who she has known since primary and are actually prety good friends) sarted saying how women shouln't have been helping in the war, they should have been at home baking, and we could have won the war alot quicker if they have staying where they belonged. Dd chalanged this which turned into a argument with him about sexism (quite lightheartedly she says as like I said they are friends) before dd got angry and sqirted some water at him. She got a detention for this.
In dds school you can ring up and say that your child doesnt have to do the detention if you give a valid reason. Part of me says 'make her do the detention, she shouldnt have squirted the water and should be punished
However another part of me says she was standing up for herself and other women so I should ring up
They are 14 btw .... wwyd

Thing is, you're painting a picture of an innocent wide-eyed boy who, through misplaced logic came to the wrong yet understandable conclusion that women should be kept in the kitchen. In reality it's a smart-alec kid who knows what he's saying and the effect it will have and is doing it for a laugh. What he needs to learn is that sexism isn't acceptable. Challenging and yes, punishing him (I don't think handing out dt's for sexism is unreasonable) won't crush him anymore than the girl will be crushed by her dt for throwing water.

What he, and possibly the rest of the class including the teacher, need an education in is how such comments help reinforce and recreate a sexist culture

This type of education is an important component in programs aimed at primary prevention of domestic and sexual violence (I can only speak here of the US) that are specifically directed toward young people. The normalization of sexism underlies violence against women.

"The analogy with white/black just doesn't wash "

Why not? That's what I meant when I assumed that by that, you mean sexism and racism are not equivalent evils.

Please do feel free to explain what you meant.

Mothra, my boy of not even 4 knows the difference between behaviour that's OK in front of family and CLOSE friends, and that which is OK in the wider public.

Mothra, I am basing my opinion mostly on the policirs of DS's school. I do not think allowing pupils to make prejudiced remarks and then explain the flaws in their reasoning is the best way forward. There should be a clear policy that making prejudiced remarks about the capabilities and roles or stereotypes of any group is unacceptable. My experience with ds is that he has a greatly reduced opportunity to pick up, develop or hone prejudices because he is not exposed to such comments in the school environment, which then carries over into the attitudes of his peers outside of school. Learning in school about racism, sexism, homophobia etc is then done through studying the consequences of it and the work of charities and activists, not by debating whether or not it is okay to be sexist. It is not okay to be sexist in school. I don't see ds or his peers seething in some kind of pit of unchallenged and unexplored misogyny as a consequence; what I see are young people who have learnt that not discriminating against others is the norm for them and creates a happier school. I am fed up of people making out it is impossible to stop teenagers saying 'that is so gay' etc. It just requires an enforced zero tolerance policy. Saying something is simply totally unacceptable sends out a far stronger and more effective message than debating it. There are plenty of topics that are useful to debate in school where diffetent perspectives have merit. His perspective had no merit and is inappropriate in a secondary school classroom.

I too really want to know what the teacher was doing during this exchange.