wwyd? dds detention

[ilikeyourface]

Today in school dd was in history, andc they were learing about how Women helped in the war. A boy in her class ( who she has known since primary and are actually prety good friends) sarted saying how women shouln't have been helping in the war, they should have been at home baking, and we could have won the war alot quicker if they have staying where they belonged. Dd chalanged this which turned into a argument with him about sexism (quite lightheartedly she says as like I said they are friends) before dd got angry and sqirted some water at him. She got a detention for this.
In dds school you can ring up and say that your child doesnt have to do the detention if you give a valid reason. Part of me says 'make her do the detention, she shouldnt have squirted the water and should be punished
However another part of me says she was standing up for herself and other women so I should ring up
They are 14 btw .... wwyd

ah I see grimbletart, it's all okay to educate by violence. Excellent point!

A quick check I realised what the chip on your shoulder is shame I can't name it here.

UnderYourCommand - oh dear. I consider myself well and truly told off . FFS. (No wonder some of us feminists get accused of lack of sense of humour….)

You were being 'splained grimble

being told off isn't the thing. Though of course lots of feminists do have an ease of attack of 'sense of humour fail', as you say.

UnderYourCommand can you splain why racism in a classroom is unacceptable but sexism isn't? Ta

I remember the exact debate in my classroom at school when a male pupil said something very similar to a female classmate. This was in 1977 (ish)

She just lowered her glasses looked at him and said;

"It was your gender who started it all" and carried on with the lesson.

Ask - I didn't 'splain' any such thing. Try to read that which I said, rather than what you would have liked me to have said? thanks.

is this an example of womansplaining? 'I know what you meant though you didn't say it, or mean it. But I still know it and explain it that way'?

'A boy in her class ( who she has known since primary and are actually prety good friends) started saying how women shouln't have been helping in the war, they should have been at home baking, and we could have won the war a lot quicker if they have staying where they belonged'

We have no idea what the teacher plans to do as a follow-up to this inaccurate POV from a child of 14. He needs to be educated as to the significance of the role of women in the war, and why sticking to their gender-defined roles would have meant failure as the systems ground to a halt. He is ignorant.
If this had been my son, I'd have talked about it with him, given him evidence and facts and picked apart his assumptions. If I were his teacher, I'd have done the same thing, but as a class activity, encouraging debate whilst being the referee. It's how DD tackles sexist ignorance in her peers, and she can get very angry indeed.
But how many of you posting have experience with teenagers and the ways they think and learn?
He's 14 and still at school, discussion with intelligent and challenging girls will do more to change his barely-formed attitudes than most other approaches.
Then he can learn he's an arse, come to understand that his assertions are based on poor logic and grow more mature. Education, he needs to understand not only that he's wrong, but why and come to see that for himself.

Because it's always a woman's job to regulate the behavior of men buffy

Didn't you know that?

Because educating rather than alienating or crushing into pulp seems to work better in the long term IMO. You can punish and silence and be incandescent and force his silence and compliance, but have you changed the way he thinks?
If he were 12, would you feel the same way about his attitude?

'Because it's always a woman's job to regulate the behavior of men buffy'

Or the job of the informed and aware to educate those who are not?
All those feminist sons being raised by feminists (Unless you believe that it is not possible for a male to be a feminist) are surely part if the process.

Squirting water in class is not acceptable, ever.

The way I read the OP the boy doesn't need educating on the role of women in the war. He knows his comments are untrue and unreasonable that's why he said them. He was trying to wind his friend up.

What he, and possibly the rest of the class including the teacher, need an education in is how such comments help reinforce and recreate a sexist culture. How they add to the myth of women being less competent. And how the constant repition of these memes in so many different ways helps lower or change our expectations of girls and women and consequently become self-fulfiling. And this is why these sorts of claims even when intended to be just teasing your friend, especially in a public classroom aren't harmless fun and aren't acceptable.

All those feminist sons being raised by feminists (Unless you believe that it is not possible for a male to be a feminist) are surely part if the process.

Absloutly, that's my job as a parent (and in this case the teacher's job). But that's not some random girl in the class to put up with

Point out where I have said that the boy's misinterpretation and misunderstandings shouldn't be challenged, and that he should remain uneducated.
But you are right of course.
Feminism
Doing it wrong, again. You'd think I'd have learned my lesson by now.
I'll leave you with your images of a horrid little boy becoming an acid-throwing adult, and why I think that there are other effective ways of changing the understanding of a 14 yo, winding up a girl he thinks of as a friend.
But to go with the racism analogy also made, who had a greater impact on changing opinions in a lasting way. ML King or Malcom X?
The OP's daughter did well, do you think she will be ostracising him for the rest of their lives? Or consistently letting him know that his sexism is wrong, and that he needs to change.

First time I've ever disagreed with Buffy though, so I need to go and have a think about this.

I would bet all my meager possessions she was not given detention for expressing her ideas. I think it is a case of her learning how to get her point across without feeling the need to throw water or anything else for that matter at someone whose opinion differs from hers, even if they are admitingly idiotic opinions.