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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Do Tall Women get Harassed Less?

36 replies

Julietee · 30/01/2014 13:07

I'm tall. I also think I give off quite strong 'fuck off' vibes. I very rarely get harassed on the street/ on public transport (it has happened though).

A conversation on FB revealed that a short and petite acquaintance seems to get picked on almost daily. She gets called 'cute', gets more aggression if she doesn't act grateful for the attention, etc.

I had never realised before that I might have it better out in the world because I'm tall/ broad/ uncute.

What do you think?

OP posts:

LaurieFairyCake · 31/01/2014 12:27

I'm 5ft with a very large chest and very small, young looking facial features.

I have always had men try to talk to me in the street - I never look at anyone and cultivate an 'I'm thinking' about something else look.

I have just walked through a town centre and had at least 4 men try to engage me. I either had mental health difficulties or was pretending to as he was walking close behind me saying 'fuck' and mumbling incoherently.

I always, always ignore it. Only if someone touches me do I round on someone very aggressively (deliberately)

LaurieFairyCake · 31/01/2014 12:29

I've no idea if taller women get harassed less though, I would have thought a scumbag is a scumbag and would try it with anyone.

I've only recently (since I was over 40) grown my hair as it makes me look even younger. I've developed a very hard stare to accompany my silence too.

NaggingNellie · 31/01/2014 13:02

I'm tall and overweight and pretty ugly and from being 11 - 20 I just got crap all the time if it was about height, the size of my arse, my large chest etc.

people that way inclined will find anything , although I find with a buggy means im invisible to that now.

tallwivglasses · 01/02/2014 02:18

Yes, when I was younger, lots of attention, a fair bit of it unpleasant. But I generally felt safe - mainly because of the 'fuck off' attitude that's been mentioned, but also, yes, if someone came up close I could usually look down on them. I wore very masculine clothes, short hair and sensible boots, so walking in the dark I'd pass as a man.

nerofiend · 02/02/2014 15:05

I'm really petite (I'll leave others to judge whether cute or not), blondish, and quite young looking and I never got harassed or disrespected by men because of it.

I think many broad, tall, big women have an issue with their size (same as small women like me might have an issue too) and try to convince themselves that they're better off for being tall and big, when in reality they secretly would like to be petite. I have a friend who is like that and she even told me herself she would have loved to have been petite. But she uses her size as a power tool, and that is what is really off putting to men.

I don't think size is the issue but the vibe that you send to men - and women. If you've got power issues in your head and use them either to attract or reject men, the response that you get from them is based more on that than anything else.

I don't use my size to attract men or manipulate them in any way. I treat everybody, men and women, with respect, regardless of their size, and expect the same from them. I normally get that respect but, of course, there are lot of people out there, whether male or female, with lots of power issues in their heads, and it's mostly from those that we don't get the respect we all deserve.

NiceTabard · 02/02/2014 15:56

nerofiend are you honestly asserting that women who get random shit on the street, do so because they are having some internal struggle about being tall when they want to be short, or short when they want to be tall, and this discomfort is somehow psychically projected onto men who are then compelled to harrass them?

That is one of the most convoluted victim-blamey posts I've ever seen!

So when my friend at 14 had a bus driver say he'd let her go free if she showed him her tits, this was probably down to her having some internal struggle going on about wanting to be taller. Or something. Not the bus driver just being a creepy bastard.

Riiiiiiiiight...

KerryKatonasKhakis · 02/02/2014 17:31

Yeah, not following you there either nero

What does 'using your size as a power tool' mean?

Glad you've never been harassed.

JonSnowKnowsNothing · 02/02/2014 17:40

IME women who tend to get the most harassment are the ones who have the temerity to stand out in any way.

When I was 20, curvy with big boobs I got a stupid amount of harassment. Some was general interest, which was fine, but much was misogynistic groping and abuse.

Now, I'm ten years older and fat, with even bigger boobs. I now get harassment for both these things. Luckily I have a resource bank of responses, my current favourite of which is an arm around the shoulder of the offender, a broad smile and a cheery: "mate, if I had your face, I wouldn't even leave the house!"

I'd rather be left alone in the first place though.

InvaderZim · 02/02/2014 23:06

Er. Actually Nero, I'm tallish and wish a was even taller!

So neener.

Starballbunny · 02/02/2014 23:11

Utterly average size and hight with mosey brown hair and glasses, totally invisible to arse holes. Which suits me just fine.

benid · 03/02/2014 12:08

I am very short. Don't get unwanted sexual attention or harassment but I do get patronised a lot. I don't wish I was taller. I just wish those patronising bastards, of both sexes, weren't such TWATS. It's THEM not me - same applies to nero's example as PP have so kindly pointed out.

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