Talking to boys about feminism and misogyny...

[curlew]

..how do we do it? I had a long conversation with my 12 year old in the car yesterday about the Caroline Criado-Perez case (it was on the news-it didn't just come up in conversation!) and it was difficult to strike a balance between yes, she was the victim of attacks by people with particularly vile misogynist agendas, and yes this is the sort of thing that happens in our society to women on a regular basis, but no,most men aren't like this, and the sort of man you are going to be definitely isn't. I am very conscious of bringing up the next generation of men- how do we do it?

A lot of problems can be solved by kindness and consideration.

This! It's so true.

I actually don't think the girls and pretty issue is entirely separate to this thread because boys/men will be conditioned to accept this as a criteria of worth, but also, they will not understand the pressure on women who may become part of their lives.

Yes, "tomboys" are more acceptable because female is seen as inferior so it's okay for girls to explore that side of their personality rather than the opposite way around. And of course neither would be an issue without constant reinforcement of binary gender roles and expressions. Which is why the toy thing matters, why it all matters even if people dismiss it.

Back when I read the article about those parents who kept the sex of their child a secret for years I thought it was pretty extreme. Now I'm not so sure.

I find it helpful that dh also challenges things and dh and I always have to critique tv and movies, so where things are very wrong as well as where they get things right. Since doing that ds has actually pointed out ways males are made out to be stupid and inept in kids tv but still supposedly heroic, something I hadn't done much of myself as I've been more focused on female representation.

"I find it helpful that dh also challenges things and dh and I always have to critique tv and movies, so where things are very wrong as well as where they get things right"

We have always done this (particularly advertisements) to the point where our children now say "OK!!!!!! We get it! Can we just watch the telly now?????????"

I need to reread "how to talk" as I read it aaaaages ago... Been reading siblings without rivalry which is equally interesting

I imagine ds will one day reach this stage! Although he does enjoy a good critique so maybe he'll just end up like us and irritate other people when he's a grown up!