Words for your your bits.

[Keepithidden]

Not sure if this is a Feminist thing or not, but I thought of you lot here first so would value your opinion.

DW and I were talking about our kids DS and DD, specifically cleaning them properly around their respective genitals (DD has a suspected yeast infection). Anyway, I was talking about "willies" and "fannies" and used these words in front of DCs. DW though "willy" was fine but "fanny" was a bit derogatory. I couldn't understand where this came from and I can't think of another word to describe DD's bits that isn't too biological/anatomical. DW is currently referring to both front and back of DD as "bottom" which I thought could cause a few problems if she starts complaining about pain in one of those respective locations.

Anyway, the "fanny" = derogatory but "willy" isn't, bit was the one that I came here wondering about.

Apologies in advance if this is the wrong part of MN or if the above offends at all.

There have been a number of threads on this.

Children need to learn the proper names, but also e day to day ones (in the same way as they wee and poo, rather than urinate and defecate, or have a tummy as well as an abdomen).

So yes, there is a lexical gap for a universally accepted day-to-day female term to parallel the male 'willy'

I use 'gina and willy, DC are 3 & 18 months. The 'gina one I read on here I think it's sort of accurate enough but also not so formal as 'vagina'. Then when DD is old enough to use the proper terms, it won't be quite so unusual for her.

Teach them the correct words. Vulva and penis. Their body parts are not to be ashamed of. They should know what they are called.

Mine know, for example that they have a patella, also called a knee cap. It's a knee cap in day to day use. Having a Latinate term and a day-to-day term will not include shame unless you tell them that for certain body parts, and those parts only, it could.

I use gIna and willy too. Though vagina/vulva and penis too though rarely, as I rarely use abdomen/malleous/humerus etc

I've only ever used vagina or penis with my DDs. I don't think they need, yet, To distinguísh between vagina and vulva.

DH was horrified because he's from a family that doesn't have genetalia, never mind sex, but It seemed the only sensible option To me.

We use willy and bits - although they know vagina and penis as well.
We have 4 boys and my genitalia are the only female ones they have seen since they were older than babies . I dislike the 'u' sound in vulva so don't use it for that reason although it's anatomically correct

Good grief, emoticon overload, sorry

Call a spade a spade, I say. I don't find "fanny" or anything similar offensive or derogatory, personally, but I dislike the cutesy names intensely and do find it odd that most people will know what penis, foreskin, testicles etc are but many grown women cannot name their own genitals correctly.

We have willies and lady bits! But they do also know the correct words...

Yep, FWR hasn't solved this one yet.

Vulvie
'Gina
VJ

were some of the better ones. But really, if fanny was seen as equivalent to willy, it would be great.

My least favourite one is 'front bottom' - wraf?!
Or 'flower'

Hate front bottom, seems more derogatory than fanny. Love growler but it might not be the most child friendly option.

It's fanny and willy at our house and both kids seem to believe fanny and willy are separate entities with their very own likes/dislikes...

My sister called hers a mini...

Personally I wish I'd named them something way more imaginative.

Vulva and willy/penis.

Dd shrieked from the swing just yesterday 'I can't let go but my vulva is itchy'.

my daughter had/has an underneath. true story.

Ah

Not just FWR but the entire of MN and in fact the whole of society

There is no equivalent of "willy" for female genitalia. A sort of friendly, non sexual, just sort of cheerful name like willy is.

The reasons for that are, of course, a long and frankly obvious discussion around male / female sexuality, acceptance, roles etcetc and all the rest.

I am sorry to say that in this house we have gone with "girly bits"

My main issue is when people teach their little girls to give their genitals bizarre names to the extent that others won't know what they're talking about. I think that to an extent it doesn't matter what they're called as long as it's not so odd that others won't know what they're talking about.

So eg A child goes to an adult and says "someone touched my flower" will garner shrugs amongst most adults. While "someone touched my willy" would not. Worst case scenario but still.

Last time this topic came around, I recall saying that "fanny" was just as good as "willy" and a small child will accept it just as readily. If one isn't such a "friendly, non sexual, just sort of cheerful name" as the other, surely it's because we aren't accepting it that way. Can't we have equality (in acceptance of the body part, and rejection of shame) here as soon as we're ready to assert it?

Thanks everyone, I hadn't realised this topic had come up already, sorry, should've done a search really.

If DW doesn't like 'Fanny' then I'll try one of the other suggestions, not sure DD could pronounce 'Vulva' at the moment (She's only 2.5 and struggles with "bottom"), so maybe I'll suggest 'gina' of VJ. DS struggles a bit with 'scrotum' and 'testicles' and he's got a couple of years on her!

I can't see anything wrong with any of the easier to pronounce words really, and still don't understand why 'fanny' isn't analogous to 'willy', anyway thanks again.

So eg A child goes to an adult and says "someone touched my flower" will garner shrugs amongst most adults. While "someone touched my willy" would not. Worst case scenario but still.

^^This.

During my safeguarding training we were told how important it is for families to tell childcarers and schools what they call their genitals so that if a child comes up and tells you that Uncle Vernon put something in my pocket, we know that the child is disclosing sexual abuse, rather than telling us what a lovely chap Uncle Vernon is for slipping the child a quid. If more parents called theirs and their children's genitals by their proper names, there would be a lot less confusion.

(The 'Uncle Vernon' and 'pocket' example is sadly true)

My dd is 2.5 and has said "dyna" since she could talk, as with all her language it will eventually evolve into the correct word but you don't dumb it down in case they can't pronounce it, surely? How would they learn any word if you only taught it once they were able to say it?! [Hmm] are you comfortable saying the word vagina or vulva, op? I wasn't, honestly, as I was brought up with "fanny" but I forced myself to say it until I was comfortable. Practice makes perfect. Dd had thrush a while ago and I was very pleased she was able to tell the doctor exactly what hurt, made diagnosis and treatment a lot quicker and more effective than if I'd failed to teach her the words for her own anatomy.

We use willy or penis for boys. Peanuts for testicles :D

For girls, vagina or lady/girly bits.

DS favours 'privates' for both.

I think fanny is the equivalent term to willy. In this country at least, sadly not in the States

Front bottom is terrible!

Forgot about this thread!

Justalittlegreen - Good points about the language, I can't think of any other words I dumb down until they can pronounce so maybe it is a bit uncomfortable using penis, vagina or vulva. I'm not as squeamish of using these words as DW and as she's the primary carer I'll probably resort to what she's comfortable with... ..except I think that anus and vagine need to be differentiated and there's no way I'm using 'flower' 'front bottom' 'tuppence' or any of the other frankly weird suggestions I've had from a few sources!

vagine??? Sounds like a Morrocan delicacy! Meant Vagina, obviously!