Ok, had a brief, but awful dream this morning and it got me thinking.
I was in what looked like a hospital - possibly like a mental hospital (hate that word "mental" but don't know what else to call it). I was a visitor and a man in a dressing gown (a patient) grabbed me and forced me into a side room. the door was open though. He pushed me down so I was sitting and then just pressed himself up against my face. Obviously my face was at crotch level.
I was trying to scream and could actually see people nearby, but the screams wouldn't come out. I was trying but there was no sound. I felt very helpless and scared, but also that the other people nearby wouldn't really be able to tell what was happening.
I remember thinking in the dream "oh, this is really happening - I have thought that one day it would and now it really is..." I was numb with shock.
Somehow I got away and was in the main room. Still trying to scream and tell people what just happened, but I was still voiceless.
At that point I woke up crying.
I have never experienced a dream like that before and it made me wonder how I would actually react in a scenario like this one. Would I find my voice - would I really be able to scream or would I clam up.
Does this reflect how vulnerable I feel or is it a reaction to the anger I feel sometimes at how women are treated. perhaps I have just been reading too much, watching too much TV and seeing too many awful situations for women that it has entered my subconscious now.