I think the problem with the FWR is simply that it caters for all. So you have relatively light discussions and heavyweight discussions going on at the same time and I think somewhere along the line, that creates a dynamic on here that can be difficult or challenging to follow.
If I go on a dedicated site about feminism, then I understand that it's expected that I already agree with certain concepts or values. The discussions quite often centre on a theoretical point and involve exploring it to its extremes and can be disturbing as it forces me to look at and examine things I may not have previously considered. So, for example, the idea that I might shave my legs as part of social conditioning, causes me no upset whatsoever whereas the idea that my sexuality may be as a result of social conditioning is one which I initially have a knee jerk reaction of rejecting because it's challenging something I'd always taken for granted. The same goes for discussions on PIV, separatism, white privilege etc.
Sometimes on here, it can seem almost trivial that we're discussing Pink Kinder eggs immediately after a discussion on FGM. But I happen to think that the trivial discussions are equally important and not particularly trivial because they operate as a starting point for a lot of women. If a poster can't relate to FGM, DV, rape, abuse etc, they may well think that it doesn't happen to them so it's not really a major issue whereas if you can discuss equal leisure time or why girls don't need pink toys, you can see the lightbulb moment happening and once that starts, you become aware of how insidious things really are.
I don't think it's wrong to assume that if you're posting on here, then you have an interest in the rights of women so it becomes frustrating when it becomes a thread turns to 'what about the men'. It happens so frequently that you can't help but think it's deliberate. And it doesn't happen to posters who are finding their way and ask that in innocence or are prepared to participate in a discussion about why the focus is on women on here. There are so many posters willing to explain basic concepts but it does require an open mind otherwise it feels like an attack. And it is an attack - it's attacking ideas and principles which have gone unchallenged, it's attacking the idea that your life lived as a woman may not be typical for other women, it's attacking the comfort zone where a patriarchal system would like us to remain unquestioning and unthinking. And more importantly, it attacks the idea that women shouldn't have a voice, that they should shut up and listen.
And somehow that all gets translated into feminists wanting something more than equal rights.
I can't count how many times I've had to explain that I don't hate men, that I don't want men to be punished or penalised, that I simply want to focus on women for the purposes of the discussion and yet I'm told time and time again that I can't be for women without being against men. I can support a breast cancer campaign without it detracting from a testicular cancer campaign. I can support both equally but if I'm on here, then I'm going to talk about the one that affects women. That's something that the regular posters just get without explanation and yet I have to explain it to others instead of focussing on the issue at hand.
I know that FWR has a reputation and I'm one of the posters who have been accused of putting women off feminism but in reality, it's not the posts that are upsetting, it becoming aware of the raw deal that women get that is upsetting and when you realise that, as a woman, you often unwittingly contribute to that, it's a painful lesson to learn. I frequently have a 'duh' moment on here when someone points out that my actions or words are anti woman - how can they be when I am a feminist ? But when I can bear to be honest with myself, I can discuss it on here without being attacked by other feminists and more often than not, a critical analysis shows that I am being anti woman. So I learn, promise myself that I'll do better and move on.
Sometimes however, it's easier and more cathartic to simply say sod off than type all of the above, especially when you know your chain is being yanked quite deliberately by the MRA types.