The Feminist Pub is Open - Chat, Rant, or pull up a chair here!

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

This thread started when we all decided to imagine what the perfect local for feminists would be like. So far, it has taps with plenty of good real ale, and some decent non-alcoholic alternatives too. There are comfy chairs and there's a feminist film night, as well as lots of nice feminist-friendly books on the shelves and space to curl up and read. The open-mic nights are attracting feminist singers and comedians, and we're just sorting out the feminist creche.

Please come along, draw up a stool, and have a good chat about whatever you fancy - as serious or as trivial as you like.

For starters, I have a half-pint of lemonade. What can I get anyone?

Wtaf? Well done to your DH on not being outwitted by an otherwise empty house, PD?!

I know it was ironic LordCooper. I don't want your lotus biscuit, I demand chocolate!

My whole family is amazed that dp cooks. I think it stands to reason seeing as he grew up with his mum being a fantastic cook and then he worked in pub kitchens throughout uni, I grew up with my parents who are BOTH awful cooks and I lived on pot noodles and ready meals between moving out from home and moving in with dp. I'm very glad he cooks, it saves us all from my culinary disasters on a more regular basis.

Oh, yes, he is quite capable considering he is a man

Music ought to be provided by the EDL IMO - safe link, honest

I've put my golden hot pants on for another thread already, so I'm ready.

Billie Holliday.

That sounds like my grandma PD. She was completely flabbergasted when I took the dcs to visit her for a week and dp managed to feed himself completely on his own . The fact that he'd managed to live alone for 15 years before he met me seems to have passed her by completely.

On second thoughts, how about a juke box?
Great big Wurlitzer one. With something for everybody on it.
You get tokens for free from the bar - I hate never having the correct change for anything, ever.

Gosh Pacific, presumably he must have to cook himself dinner and do his own washing up when you're not there? :(

Nina Simone on the jukebox, please.

Ugh another for me please.

THe trolls are out tonight.

Hi, totally agree about trolls, I reported my first at only 4.30 this afternoon!

I'm here because I watched the Malala thing earlier tonight. I have to say I'd deleted FWR from Active, about six months ago, as every time I came here either it was getting very highbrow, or infested with trolls, or both. I felt that my fairly simple 'equality of opportunity' response to all known forms of -isms simply wasn't going to cut the mustard here. I felt I'd end up getting shouted at for something, probably being white and heterosexual (even though I don't read the Daily Mail - although my mum does religiously and rings me up most mornings to have a good rant).

The thing is, I keep on with my mantra of 'equality of opportunity' but I'm not certain what arguments to use to support them moving forward.

I'm very pleased that dtds (who are Yr 10) seem to be completely bemused that there COULD have been a time that their choice could have been restricted to Cookery or Needlework, while the boys had a choice of Technical Drawing, Woodwork or Metalwork.

But there's other stuff... how do I persuade them that it's not their RESPONSIBILITY to cover themselves in makeup every single school day? Which is what's happening right now, and they're 14 FFS...

Anyway, I gather this is a pub, so EXTREMELY large Pinot Grigio, and also some salted cashews, Ta Mucho.

Girls and women shouldn't see their function in life as being attractive to boys. But at 14 it is hard. You want to fit in and belong, and not stand out. So if their friends are all wearing lots of make up, they will too.

I think a key thing for teenage girls is to build up their self esteem, so they don't go rushing into the arms of some boy to get validation. Don't get me wrong, nothing wrong with having a boyfriend. But so many girls put up with really poor treatment from boyfriends because of low self esteem.

Also do you wear make up every day? If you do, start having days were you don't wear make up. And whether you feel confident or not without make up, act as if you are. They might be teenagers, but they still pay attention to what you do.

When I was growing up (well, this is a pub after all, though a bit early in the morning) my parents and female relatives were all disapproving of children wearing makeup. It was a shock to me when I later found out that girls wore makeup ... I don't wear makeup, after having tried them and found that they made me look, well, different from me ...

SummerHoliDidi I grew up in a household obsessed with food and the preparation of it. That's all we ever talked about! Even now.

I found out the title of the book. It is A Very Long Way from Anywhere Else, by Ursula Le Guin. It is actually written from the boy's point of view. It may not be as I remember it. I read it a very long time ago. But it made a big impression on me as a teenage girl.

Copper - my mum hated girls wearing make up, wearing bikini tops before you had "anything to put in them", and nail varnish on girls. But when I was young teenage girls were not supposed to wear make up to school. Of course some did, but if they didn't keep it very subtle, they invariably had to remove it.

do you serve coffee - it's a bit early for a pint and I have just wondered in after being directed here from AIBU

Yes. And cooked breakfast. I would love a cooked breakfast at the moment.

Definitely coffee.

I have just wandered back in after the DC interrupted my pub visit last night.

I can't stomach coffee at the moment but I'll have a large mug of tea please.

On the handmaid's tale, we read it at the start of my A-levels with my wonderful feminist teacher (Hi Mrs W if you're out there!). I think I could probably have read it as a story earlier, but I don't think I'd have got that much out of it. I certainly found it way more disturbing when I read it again recently. But I do have vivid memories in school of us read the 'he is fucking, what he is fucking is the bottom half of me' (sorry, not an exact quote) passage and being amazed at the power of the language and the fact we were allowed to repeatedly say fuck in class.

I have never read The Handmaiden's Tale. But that quote sounds really powerful.

Hello all! Can the pub serve proper coffee and tea, to go with the cake? If so I'll have a decaf soya latte please. Will move on to prosecco when I've given birth and back on the drink.

I'd like to propose a witchcraft night, for those of us that practice today to share a modern perspective on what it means to be a witch in the now. Any takers??

This is from Wikipedia, but it sounds pretty accurate from what I remember:

"My red skirt is hitched up to my waist, though no higher. Below it the Commander is fucking. What he is fucking is the lower part of my body. I do not say making love, because this is not what he's doing. Copulating too would be inaccurate, because it would imply two people and only one is involved. Nor does rape cover it: nothing is going on here that I haven't signed up for."

The Handmaids Tale is a great introduction for teenagers into lots of important issues. As an adult I find a lot of the imagery to be a bit obvious and over done but as teenager I remember being completely shocked, disturbed and fascinated all at once.
We also read it at A level and I remember just one little thing could spark hours long discussions between the whole class, like the 'pen is envy'/penis envy line for instance

Afternoon. Mind if I join you?
Mine's a large Chablis please . As it's a virtual drink I don't need to worry about DD's next feed.
I'll lurk sit quietly listening and ppl watching for a bit if that's ok. As I am neither learned enough nor rested enough for worthy debate. But I do remember reading "the handmaid's tale" and second those comments about it being quite powerful. I don't believe I've read much "feminist" literature.

Mmm maybe some cashews or almonds?

therealamandaclarke Oh goodie another feeder!

I thought I was the only one here in the pub in my pyjamas, with my boobs out, eating bourbons.

..Would you like a bourbon?

Can I have a bourbon and wear my pj's? Not feeding currently, but first trimester and feel and look like shit without being able to tell anyone why.

Congratulations Penguins! They are only 50p a pack so feel free to grab a handful.

Is this your first?

Thanks. Nah, no.3

Thanks for the bourbon biscuits. I really shouldn't. I am determined that this pregnancy I will not balloon to the size of a house. It makes the end bit so much more exhausting when you are carrying extra, extra weight around. But I've just been told I have low blood pressure and need to snack, so that's my excuse. I think the MW was thinking oat cakes or a small handful of almonds, but you know...