The Feminist Pub is Open - Chat, Rant, or pull up a chair here!

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

This thread started when we all decided to imagine what the perfect local for feminists would be like. So far, it has taps with plenty of good real ale, and some decent non-alcoholic alternatives too. There are comfy chairs and there's a feminist film night, as well as lots of nice feminist-friendly books on the shelves and space to curl up and read. The open-mic nights are attracting feminist singers and comedians, and we're just sorting out the feminist creche.

Please come along, draw up a stool, and have a good chat about whatever you fancy - as serious or as trivial as you like.

For starters, I have a half-pint of lemonade. What can I get anyone?

Evening all, pass the Lagavulin, please, Mavis [pours double... hands it to Mignonette and pours self another].

So are we going to discuss feminist stuff in theory group as suggested?

I think we decided it wouldn't work.
Nothing will work.

Ah Tunip

Not true Turnip. As feminists we need to defend our right to talk about feminism.

The feminist pub is a cosy place tonight - squashy chairs, comforting glow from the fire, rain lashing against the windows outside... lovely.

Getting down to the business of a pub--here's something that should definitely be on tap (yes, I know true beer drinkers would look askance at any American product, but this one is worth considering):
www.autostraddle.com/fwomens-libation-movement-portlands-full-sail-brewing-co-makes-an-actual-feminist-beer-201251/

That is great Tei. Portland is supposed to be a real hub for real ale, although they call it craft beer.

Just the ticket, yoni.

I know it's all a bit deep and serious here today.

But in the spirit of it being the pub, can I just run in and say:

FFS. DD2 (aged 2) isn't sitting nicely because she is a girl. She is sitting nicely because she has just been given a bowl of snacks and, like her mother, nothing comes between her and her food. Yes, she does sometimes sit nicely for other things. Other times she's like a wild horse.

Last two weeks at toddler group this has been said to me at snack time by a mother of two boys (different one each time). "Ahh, don't girls sit nicely"

penguins
I am so (PFB) proud of my (usually running full pelt) ds at toddler group because he always sits nicely for his snack.
He actually doesn't sit at any other time but singing and snack I don't think.

That is annoying Penguin. And of course any boys hearing it will get the clear message that they are not expected to sit nicely.

Hi everyone.

Sorry to hear the sad bits with rape myths, mignon and rosa.

I have been talking to a friend today about *trans (did you know that meant 'not a binary identity, cos I didn't?). And it makes me so sad, because it is such an incredibly fraught conversation to have. We both like each other, we're both very fortunate and not affected directly by very much of it, and still, it is like dancing on eggshells with each of us trying so very hard not to offend the other.

It makes me sad that the conversation is so scripted, that even if neither of you says the 'predictable' thing, that is what the other person hears.

Still, we did at least manage to talk.

And, on the plus side, if you all send get-well vibes to tunip's DD, I shall be able to meet up with her tomorrow, which will be lovely.

Meantime I would like one of those comfy chairs too, please, and a squeeze of the baby if he's not still up someone's jumper!

penguins I was told it was amazing my DS2 sat nicely to play chess because boys don't sit nicely. Firstly he is 7 , secondly he likes playing games, thirdly, how come all those famous chess players are men if boys can't sit to play chess?

This is the sort of thing that really wears me down. It is relentless. And comes from the most unsuspected angles. And seemingly normal people say it. It is enough to make you a recluse.

I'm watching Poirot. How is Poirot's feminist credential?

Sorry, back properly now.

Sorry for all the people having a tough time. Mignonette and Rosa.

Have fun Tunip and LRD. You can give each other a real life pep talk.

LordCopper - Yes, it grinds you down. Normal, normal people who say these things.

Heh. Good point about male chess players.

Sadly, never seen Poirot.

Sorry, dozed off. Do please excuse the dried saliva on my cheek.
Thank you, the baby is delicious, squishy of thigh and dimply of cheek. He loves to be passed around when he's feeling sociable.
Poirot I think a product of his time, viewing women as essentially vastly different to men (everyone's grown out of that now, right?) but h

Oops
Holds them in high esteem - Ref his respectful and professional relationship with Miss Lemon.

reification of the gender binary - see, that kind of thing just makes me feel thick [gets out dictionary][remember them??]

Ok.
I am having obscure, caffeine-free German coffee ersatz Caro Kaffee .
I am all sober and child- and DH-free. For a little while
All good.

I have thought about provocation: as this is a forum where we all use language, written language to express ourselves (as opposed to fists I mean) provocation ought to not be 'allowed' to stand to excuse bad online etiquette. I like a bit of colourful language for emphasis, personally, and I don't get offended easily. I think 'You are wrong/misguided/posting maliciously' should all be allowed. But not name calling or threatening posts. "You are a fucking cunt" should only ever be posted affectionately IMO .

I agree with Ghost, trolling post should be left (unless illegal etc) with a comment from MNHQ for all to see.

Right, mine's a large white now please.

I dont agree there is a binary gender by the way. I think there is a gender hierarchy.

Oh ffs, I started my post about 1 hr ago, only to be interrupted by an offspring. You've moved on in the meantime .
I am off to read back now. Sorry.

Pacific - I don't know what it means either. Nod and smile, then sneak off into a corner and have a big virtual glass with me.

Yeah pacific Tell to us what you think of Poirot.