Oh dear, looks like we still have a long way to go...

[grumpyinthemorning]

Announced that I will not be changing my name on marriage - female family member tells me the men she knows would hate that because it shows a lack of respect for them. What about respect for my identity?

During the name change discussions - DP said keeping my names makes him feel like I'm not fully committing. I'm marrying him, how much more committed could I be?

Constantly asked when I'm having more children - apparently DP should have biological children as well as being a father to my DS. Does it occur to anyone that I might be happy with just one? (I actually do want more, but nobody asks, they just assume.)

Any other examples?

you should ask your husband to change his name to yours and then when he refuses ask him why he is not fully committing.

here's an example. Overhearing someone tell my husband that I should give up work and look after our child rather than him be in nursery. Despite the fact that DH and I earn the same amount and we couldn't possibly survive on one wage. Why not tell DH to give up work instead, why should it be me?

I wonder if the men she knows would actually think it showed a "lack of respect" or if she is just assuming that they would.

I actually did, the look on his face was priceless! He backed down when I pointed out the whole changing names thing comes from the husband "owning" his wife. He knows full well he doesn't own me!

Someone posted a link to a piece about how strangers shouldn't touch other people's dogs without asking as dogs are the private property of the owner - the piece ended comparing the stroking of someone else's dog with the groping of someone else's wife!

Oddboots, that's terrible!

Kim147, I bet it would feel that way. Funny how they then expect us to change ours.

I have no problem with women choosing to change their name, I just honestly prefer mine as it is!

My uncle still can't get his head round that I'm not "really" Doctrine DHName. He knows I "call" myself Doctrine Myname but he somehow thinks that's like "calling" myself Doc - it's not official.

This from the man who berated women for taking maternity leave compared to a woman in his office back to work with a nanny after two weeks.

Can women win with this guy? Nope!

DH didnt give a shite if I changed my name or not - he was just happy we were getting married and I felt the same. DH offered to change his name but as I loved his last name (tis v.pretty!) I double barrelled.

I dont want a bloody name tag on me, Im not a dog.

It is really rather depressing isn't it.

I sometimes feel a bit, I don't know, odd that I did change my name. I had solid reasons - I knew I wanted a family one day and I wanted all of us to be a unit sharing the same name.

But, but, but. I went for the easy route. I changed to DH's name. I thought about the other options - double barrelled for both. New name. Him changing to mine. But I wasn't as feminist then and I didn't really care and I went for the easiest option.

Sometimes I wonder if that was a cop out.