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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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AIBU to feeling both enraged & depressed at this

28 replies

AnnoyedAtWork · 22/07/2013 17:16

Work colleague (male dominated env.) telling my line mgr he's going on a stag do to Croatia, when asked why there particularly, says "it's very, um, pretty.." with knowing smirk (clearly referencing the fact he will go to strip club / worse but knows can't mention in front of me ) .

Regardless of your views on strip clubs on stag do's, AIBU to think that he should not have been alluding to this shit in the workplace, makes me feel like women are totally marginalised and laughed at behind our backs!

I know this person is a nasty piece of work and doesn't respect women but the fact that others will laugh along behind my back makes me feel so terribly angry and want to cry. It makes me paranoid that most men in fact do not respect their wives /girlfriends and think nothing of lying, belittling, marginalising, cheating on them and certainly don't take women seriously in the work place.

I trust my partner and he dislikes the idea of strip clubs as degrading and agrees with me it is not okay if you are in a relationship. However I worry that it would be difficult to ensure that the 1 or 2 remaining stag dos (last few def did not include this) - given the friends they will be for- would not include visit to lap dance club. The idea makes me feel physically ill and I could not accept my partner going to one even though I'd trust him not to get a dance. So basically I'm dreading having to eventually cross that bridge when those 2 friends get married. Id be asking him to tell his mates he won't go if strip clubs are involved or if it turns out to be a surprise, to not go in. I felt like we communicate well about feminism etc and so was worrying about this less but the thing with my work colleague has made me despair of men.

OP posts:
FasterStronger · 24/07/2013 18:35

I also bow down QuiteContent that you were able to set us right about what to be concerned about and what to not be concerned about....

all of it matters.

StickEmUp · 24/07/2013 18:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MiniTheMinx · 24/07/2013 19:11

I think you are right, they know they can't defend the indefensible. Even on a forum where they are protected by anonymity men can't construct a serious argument in favour of strip clubs.

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