Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Getting married at Disney, wearing a Disney Princess wedding dress

35 replies

madamezouzou · 04/02/2013 10:18

A girl I know is doing this soon.

Am I the only one who thinks: This is hilariously tacky?

I also feel uncomfortable about this from a feminist perspective but can't quite articulate why, would appreciate the views of others!

OP posts:

DawnOfTheDee · 04/02/2013 10:21

With weddings I think it's each to their own. Yes to me that wedding sounds very tacky but if that's what she wants....

I think my problem with the 'princess' thing is that it's very passive and is a poor example for girls to aspire to i.e. waiting for a prince to come and 'rescue' you.

ByTheWay1 · 04/02/2013 10:22

Some people have a dream of how they want their wedding to be... not my thing, but good luck to them.

MortifiedAdams · 04/02/2013 10:25

In my opinion it is tacky. But my opinion means jack shit to her, Im sure. Same as she may well have hated my wedding.

If we were all the same, how dull the world would be.

DifferentNow · 04/02/2013 10:31

It wouldn't be my choice either but it's really none of your business. If it's the way she's dreamed her wedding would be, who are you to rain on her parade?

badtemperedaldbitch · 04/02/2013 10:31

she doesnt share your feminisit issues.... but she is getting her dream?

good on her i say... also good on those that get married at the rugby club or football club or swimming pool or stables....

you should be allowed to get your dream.... now if it were someone elses dream forced upon her without her permission or input.... that would be a different story IMO

Piffpaffpoff · 04/02/2013 10:44

My take on feminism is that it the freedom to choose what you want - and if that involves making (IMO) a total tit of yourself at Disneyland, then go ahead and enjoy your freedom of choice. I would also enjoy my freedom of choice to think that it's a hideous idea, but there you go.

NotGoodNotBad · 04/02/2013 10:53

"My take on feminism is that it the freedom to choose what you want"

This idea seems prevalent on mumsnet - where on earth does it come from?

scaevola · 04/02/2013 10:55

"A girl I know is doing this soon."

Do you mean a child's party?

Piffpaffpoff · 04/02/2013 10:55

Dunno, I didn't get it off Mumsnet, I made up my mind myself. Each to their own.

queenofthepirates · 04/02/2013 10:55

Part of me really does like this idea.......
Think of the photos for your grandchildren

FireOverBabylon · 04/02/2013 10:56

totally tacky. My husband would roll his eyes at me repating this story again but I used to work with a woman who went online looking for deals as she and her husband offered to pay for her stepdaughter's honeymoon.

They arranged a flight into Paris, two nights in Paris, fly from Paris Orly (little airport used by the 1950s movie stars etc) into Casablanca, and then 10 days in the Atlas mountains in Morocco.

The stepdaughter booked a fortnight in Orlando instead. [banks head on desk even 8 years later]

I guess you can make your own choices, whether they are sensible ones or not

NotGoodNotBad · 04/02/2013 11:03

"Each to their own."

Well you can do what you like, but I object to you giving your choice a label ("feminism") that means something else.

Piffpaffpoff · 04/02/2013 11:06

Fair enough. And there ends my one and only foray into the Feminism section.

MrsBucketxx · 04/02/2013 11:09

i think its hideous,

my cousin wants this in 2015, with a belle dress

madame could it be the same girl?

NotGoodNotBad · 04/02/2013 11:15

Don't mean to be offputting Piffpaff, just wanted to make the point that the mere fact a woman is able to choose something doesn't make it a feminist choice.

kim147 · 04/02/2013 11:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsBucketxx · 04/02/2013 11:22

grooms really up for it too, he will ge wearing a suit i suppose, the thing that greats with me is how commercial and corporate it is.

no imagination.

snowshapes · 04/02/2013 11:24

Hmm, I am going to make the fairly obvious point that it doesn't matter at all how you get married, what matters is that both partners are on the same page about what they are signing up for and prepared to work towards that.

The issue with Disney Princess is that it seems to me to be a fairly idealistic, happy ever after, gendered ideal of marriage. But the real issue is the couple in question, as Kim147 says, what does the groom think, and why they are doing this? I honestly think if they have solid ideas of their relationship and marriage, then it would be judgemental to dismiss this on the grounds of the way they are expressing their commitment, tacky or not.

scrappydappydoo · 04/02/2013 11:38

Each to their own - as long as she doesn't have a disneyesque view of marriage (as in its more than just the day/happily ever after etc etc) then they can do/wear what she wants on their day and honeymoon.

I'm fairly interested what peope think of the new Disney princess adverts which emphasize the different characteristics of princesses more than dresses, the princes and the glitter.

AmandaPayne · 04/02/2013 12:09

I would be uncomfortable with this as a feminist. Each to their own and your colleague/friend/whatever doesn't have to make a feminist choice.

However, Disney princesses really get me riled up. They are such a passive view of what it means to be female. Even when they try and update them, it's about waiting for a man to rescue you and make things right. I would struggle with an adult woman wanting to dress up as this type of character. Particularly on a day which is kind of setting a template for how you will be as a married couple.

At a more practical level, I would worry about someone whose idea of marriage was the happily ever after fairytale as I am not sure how well it bodes for an actual real life marriage.

Hobbitation · 04/02/2013 12:16

Each to their own. I do find it tacky, but I remember being very excited when I first saw a Disney store, as I never had the opportunity to exorcise/exercise my fairy princess stage fully as a kid. My daughters have done it to death, and moved on.

I think there are a variety of female Disney characters now. Also the older ones they get a lot of stick for, well, you'd have to change the original story vastly to make it any other way, and that was unlikely to happen until the late 80s at the very earliest.

Pretty relaxed about it all myself. My daughter's main role model is me and other women in our family, not TV/Film/Book characters. I managed to survive the deluge of terrible female role models in the 80s and come out empowered and confident in my femininity.

feministefatale · 04/02/2013 13:52

Eww, Was at Disney village the shops bit and say they had a boutique style shop just full of disney princess shit tat. And they gave princess make overs in fron of the shop for all the kids to be on display.

They also sell the traditional minney mouse ears with a veil, for kids btw, not for odd adults who want to get married as minney

feministefatale · 04/02/2013 13:52

confident in my femininity

What does that mean?

MrsMushroom · 04/02/2013 14:00

I'm getting married dressed as Emmeline Pankhurst next door to her...or in the next Disney Nuptial Cabana or whatever they have out there! That would be fun.

BelaLugosisShed · 04/02/2013 15:26

Actually , you are not allowed (as an adult) to be dressed up as as a Disney Princess, or any Disney "character" for that matter) at Disney. The only exceptions are on the special party nights.

A wedding does not have to make a feminist statement and if my DD wanted to get married at one of the Disney resorts that's fine by me, we've been going to Disneyworld since she was 5 years old, she's now a Maths graduate and in teacher training, with a strong feminist identity, doesn't mean she can't love Disney, we went last year and she has photos of herself with all the Princesses - it means precisely nothing in feminist terms.

The minnie ears with veil and mickey groom top hat are very much for adults, you see lots of couples honeymooning in the parks wearing them.

Flip

1 2