Feminism for childcarers

[ThinkAboutItOnBoxingDay]

Sorry if this has been done, just after a bit of help.

I am going back to work soon and have a lovely nanny starting. She's great on the things i think are important in a nanny, cares for my daughter, competent and organised etc.

But, in her interview I was a bit worried about some of her comments about girls vs boys. She talked about 'little girls always like to help out around the house' 'little girls are much more affectionate', 'little boys are more active' etc.....

I tried to push on this gently in her interview but she didn't seem to get what i was on about.

I think we are all conditioned in gender stereotypes and look for what we expect. I don't expect her to be able to turn these on their heads but I would like her to not to reinforce them daily and be introducing my daughter to them, iyswim.

I need to talk to her about this but don't know quite what to say. Advice appreciated, how do i make sense, without patronising or being dismissed as weirdo feminist? Anything you would point to she / I could read?

I do see myself as a feminist obviously but i know not everyone recognises ths as a positive term.

It isn't a lot if help but I think you should have made it all plain before you appointed her.

You're right of course. And now you're going to think i'm being silly: my daughter is 8 months old. So setting a good example on gender expectations isn't at the top of the reasons to choose a nanny and all 4 candidates we saw were the same, or worse. Honestly she is caring and good with babies and that counted for more.

But i do think to some degree early examples don't help.

Talk to her about it. If it helps to make an analogy... if you were Jewish and she was a Christian - you would ask her to observe various practices eg the food she gave your DC and you would discuss with her how to approach various other topics. this is the same - it's important to you and so you need to talk about it with her.

The reason that I said 'sort it out first' is that because (and you won't like my answer) is that I would smile and nod and just do what came naturally to me- which in my case wouldn't give you anything to worry about- but it could do. If you understand my reasoning!

Yes exoticfruits, that's exactly what i worry about. In fact in the interview that was what i felt happened, she started talking about dads doing housework being a good thing etc. she wanted to say what i wanted to hear.