Why not lower age of consent to 14?

[CustardSliceAndAMugOfCoffee]

Becoming sexually active - why not lower the age of consent to 14?
This was one of the topics for discussion on The Wright Stuff on channel 5 this morning. What are your opinions? I personally think the age of consent should remain 16 years of age.

'That's a bit of a shocking think to say Nebulous in view of what does happen to girls around the world ie FGM'

Exactly, to attempt to control someone's sexuality through mutilation or drugs is unacceptable. The proposer didn't see it as a joke, and I also didn't get the impression that she was thinking of it being voluntary either.
And no, I think lowering the age of consent would be a bad idea and send very wrong messages to opportunists and abusers as to the readiness of juveniles to become sexually active.

I think we need a huge cultural shift, and we could begin by looking honestly at other places that don't have the same issues as the UK and working out why, and WTF we are doing so very wrong.

Most people here seem agreed you couldn't just lower the age to 14 without some special measures for teenagers - such as notcitrus suggests about the 4 year age range - Romeo & Juliet law etc.
But I can certainly appreciate your thoughts too Nebulous about whether any change might just give the wrong messages to opportunists and abusers.
You'd think it ought to be possible to have a workable law to protect young people in a suitable and effective way though wouldn't you ?

"Or just sew them shut?" Comments like this are not necessary.

No 10 policy unit 'suggested lowering age of consent to 14'

www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/9794842/No-10-policy-unit-suggested-lowering-age-of-consent-to-14.html

No, it should not be lowered, for the reasons offered above, but here's another one: it would fuel the culture of sexual bullying by peers in schools which we already know exists. It would be seen as legitimising 14 year olds, particularly girls, as sexual objects. It's not just older people who sexually exploit the young - it can be their peer group too.

I am also sympathetic to calls to raise the age of consent, but then I also think everyone should have to get a shagging licence, obtained only after passing heavy duty exams in contraception and childcare.

The real key though is getting young people to be able to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy relationships, and being able to reject unhealthy situations without fear or hesitation. It is very difficult to create those conditions in a rape culture though.

There does seem to be a better culture including for young people in some other European countries, such as the Netherlands and Scandinavia ?

(They are very good on early years ed which I'm involved in too. A coincidence ?
Or important social skills such as respect learnt at an early age ? Or just countries that have many of their priorities right ?)

I don't think it matters what the age of consent were changed to if at all, if someone underage is going to have sex they are going to do it aren't they. Same with smoking and drinking, if they get hold of the appropriate items they're going to use them. Not much in place to stop them?

Nobody should be having sex until they are mature enough to deal with:

Unwanted pregnancy
STDs
Sexual coercion
Heartbreak

Just because you are old enough to experience sexual desire doesn't mean you should be having sex. You don't die from celibacy and sex is potentially something with life changing consequences.

I would raise the age of consent to 18 myself.

And having raised the age of consent to 18, would you be willing to prosecute (let's say) 60% of young people? There's a lot of difference between saying people shouldn't have sex before such and such an age, versus trying to run a legal system which calls it a crime and has to deal with the result in practical terms. No, they shouldn't have sex (maybe). But they do, and most likely they'll continue to, whatever the law says. So what's the answer?

What exactly is the punishment anyway, when two young people have sex below legal age, what happens to them? Highly doubt they will sling them in a jail cell?

I have already said I think the age should be raised to 18. There is absolutely nothing at all done about under age sex. Sex under the age of 16 is illegal or it isn't. What's the point of it being illegal if nothing is ever done about it. I think lowering it to 14 would be a total disaster. You'd have 12 year olds thinking I am as mature as a 14 year old so it's OK for me. It isn't OK.

Raise it to 18. And raise the drinking age to 21 too

Why

Go ahead and die for your country or become responsible for another human being or run for fucking office, but don't you dare have a beer

I'm American we all know it's a ridiculous (totally arbitrary date in your life) and patronizing law over here can't imagine why it should be expanded to other countries.

Why is 15 never mentioned as an idea ?
Though I'd like to see a Romeo & Juliet style law introduced if the age limit was lowered at all.
I do see the argument for not making teenagers lawbreakers when apparently 40% have sex under the current guidelines/ legal age. Is that right ?
I know young people (in our extended family) who have and seem to have come through the experience OK, but hope my DC's will wait a bit longer as it seems a lot for them to handle to me.

Must be slightly weird going through college in a culture where students aren't meant to be drinking Piccadilly ? How does that pan out ?!

Hmm. This is an interesting one. My parents were 16 and 18 when I was conceived. It was not ideal, but they were considered to be adults and got married etc. My mum was just turned 17 when I was born. I first dtd aged 15 and knew all about contraception etc. I felt that I was old enough and switched on enough. I don't look back at it with any regret.

The idea of my pfb having sex at 15 or becoming a mother at 17 totally freaks me out though. I will be having some long chats with her in the coming years.

Just because a girl has boobs and uses tampons doesn't make her an adult. We (rightly) complain about the pressure early sexualisation puts on young girls and now there is a suggestion to change the law to make it even easier for early sexualisation.

Is society mad?

What needs to change is not laws but attitudes.

You can't legislate a change in culture.

No way should it be lowered to 14. Of course you can't stop teens from experimenting, and some will still have consensual sex at 14. Not ideal, but that's not my main concern.

My concern is that lowering the age to 14 will make it easier for sexual predators to get away with abusing children. Because then they will no longer to breaking the law when they persuade children to have sex with them; children who desperately want to feel grown-up and are flattered by the attention of an older man.

I would also agree that teens should be taught way more about alternatives to PIV, and how it can bring greater pleasure to both partners plus removed the worry of pregnancy. PIV is far too much of a big deal. Though last time I expressed this viewpoint, I was told that PIV is considered boring these days and teens are into anal and other stuff they learn from porn instead. Lovely.

I am in favour. As it currently, stands 40% of children are criminalised by the 16+ age. The proposal is just that it's lawful with someone up to two years older than you are. I doubt it will happen however.

It is part of a Government proposal to increase our rights and freedoms something we very very much need so if people have ideas of abolition of a lot of other laws Labour brought in which curb rights and freedoms now is the time to campaign for them (not something most mumsnetters are remotely bothered about as they seem to want rights hugely curtailed whenever it's debated ).

If it was lowered it would have to be with those constraints Xenia.
Without the 2 year age range rule the proposals would be quite different and totally unacceptable IME.
Am glad to hear the proposals do include them.

It doesn't really matter. The age of consent is 13 in Spain. 40% of girls report they're sexual active at 15 in England, compared to 13% in Spain. We'd be far better off actually talking to children about their sexual choices (and about drinking so much they don't know what they're doing, which sure as hell accounted for a lot of my early sexual experiences.)

I disagree that legislation can't change attitudes. The age of consent has already changed a lot of attitudes towards young children and their rights. Drink driving laws demonized that act. Laws can change attitudes. It is the state saying this is not acceptable in our society (providing they actually enforce those laws. Rape laws are having no effect. FGM laws have no effect because they aren't actually applied)

I think 14 is acceptable (particularly with the caveat that your partner is no more than 2 years older). 14 is the age in Italy i think (and indeed in the Roman Catholic religion which says 14 or the age of consent in the country where you are based if higher).

In Saudi there is none and that is unwise and ought to be changed.