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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Would anyone like to join in an effort to convince retailers to stop categorizing toys by gender?

999 replies

OneHandWavingFree · 19/11/2012 00:06

Following on from this thread and similar ones, a few of us are interested in discussing ways to send a message to retailers that it is not acceptable to designate 'boys' and 'girls' toy aisles which reinforce the message that science and adventure are "boys stuff", while girls should be primarily occupied with looking 'sexy' or practicing for domestic drudgery.

The first steps might be to draft a letter and identify a few retailers to target for an email campaign. Other ideas of how to get the message across are very welcome too, though.

Would anyone like to join in?

OP posts:
HalloweenNameChange · 22/11/2012 01:13

I can guarantee Goth, that stumpy thinks you being bullied was bad..but can't see the direct link that telling children what gender box they have to fit in to led to your being bullied :(

That's the problem.

maxmillie · 22/11/2012 01:14

Ooooo me. This bugs the fuck out of me. Have never quite got over the ELC pink globe, complete with pink seas and unicorns and mermaids instead of, like, real animals and realistically coloured land features as on the "boys" blue one.

aufaniae · 22/11/2012 01:15

I'm in :) saw a marble run in M&S the other day which is part of a range labled "boys toys". I would never have imagined a marble run to be only for boys. Ridiculous! (and limiting their market, surely?!)

SomersetONeil · 22/11/2012 01:55

"...who feels that dragging children into the issue of equal rights in this way is taking it too far"

See, I just do not understand this point of view.

'Taking equal rights too far'. So you actively want to be kept back behind men? You actively want your daughter to be kept back behind your son?

What do you even mean by taking equal rights 'too far'. It just seems so ridiculous and inhibiting.

And anyway - how is encouraging all children to play with all toys taking anything too far?! Confused What damage is being caused by making this switch? Why do you feel the need to so vehemently defend the status quo...?

kickassangel · 22/11/2012 02:32

Yeah, cos you should have a limit on equal rights. I mean, sure women have rights, just not too many of them in case they start feeling all entitled and equal. Right? Wink

StewieGriffinsMom · 22/11/2012 07:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WineGless · 22/11/2012 08:03

I too could ask 30 people at work the same question stumpy and no doubt they would say the same as your colleagues because they have been conditioned over the last 20 years.

I would suggest that if you took the time to explain the reasoning behind it as eloquently written by more articulate posted than I, they may change their minds.

WineGless · 22/11/2012 08:03

SGM- shit, we can vote???

LadyKinbote · 22/11/2012 08:10

I actually did mention this at work yesterday and my (childless) colleagues were horrified to hear that some shops label aisles in this way.

WineGless · 22/11/2012 08:13

Maybe we should all do a poll of people we see today and ask their views?

ConsiderCasey · 22/11/2012 09:26

Stumpy, I don't really understand your opposition? We are free to air our views are we not? If you think that it's a non-issue then why are you worried about it? If toys were labelled according to function rather than gender then why would that bother you, if you think it has so little effect?

If it's so natural for girls to want hoovers rather than space kits, then that is what they will gravitate to anyway.

aufaniae · 22/11/2012 09:34

stumpy, so where am I meant to look for a marble run? In boys or girls?

(Boys according to M&S, but I had one of these and loved it as a little girl!)

ConsiderCasey · 22/11/2012 09:37

I know! I love marble runs! In fact one of the best things about having a DS is that you get cool stuff like that for Christmas.

maxmillie · 22/11/2012 09:46

Sadly there are women out there who think this is fine and actively encourage it.

There is a woman at my son's school who has a boy and a girl and when I was talking about this she said, oh I think it is fine in fact I prefer it as I only buy pink things for her bedroom and blue for his so it makes it easier if it is segregated. This is a dragon of a woman, divorced, professional and is constantly down at the school ranting about her children not being the best, not being given every opportunity. And yet we clash over this all the time. She was horrified when I said my boys had a buggy and dolls house. The older boys were playing sports the other day and I commented on how nice the oppositions' strip was (Pink stripes) and she said, "oh yes I suppose it is right up your street with all your gender stuff". She berated me in the playground for giving my 7 year old ds a goodbye kiss and said it was cruel to continue to do this as boys were embarrassed by that sort of thing.

She thinks I am some kind of bonkers feminist and I just cant see how she cant see how the (over) gender-stereotyping that goes on these days is damaging, particularly to girls it seems to me. I find most people either aren't really aware of it or agree that it is A Bad Thing to be honest. But I do find a small number of mothers of girls seem to positively encourage it - particularly when they have one of each, a boy and a girl? These seem to be the most girlified girls?

grimbletart · 22/11/2012 11:51

"oh yes I suppose it is right up your street with all your gender stuff"

That woman obviously doesn't do irony maxmillie as she is the one who has "all the gender stuff" with her rigid pink and blue themes". What a clot.

MrsDimples · 22/11/2012 13:34

I'm in.

Not had chance to read the whole thread yet. Gender stereotyping of babies, children, toys etc is quite a passion of mine.

I can't remember which Xmas catalogue it was in now, but Connect 4 was in the boys section Angry

Wow toys, that I'm generally a fan of, launched some new toys, not too long back and a couple screamed pink girl toys, when there was no need. Myself and a few other people complained on their Facebook page. They said they'd undertaken market research and it's what their customers wanted. There were other parents getting their giddy pink sexist knickers all a twist in their excitement, I assume that's who'd they'd conducted their research on.

GrimmaTheNome · 22/11/2012 14:11

MrsDimples, you silly girl, you're meant to get this for your DDs.

(sorry, hope that didn't make anyone lose their lunch)

"...who feels that dragging children into the issue of equal rights .."

Children should not be dragged into the issue of equal rights. They should be completely oblivious because there shouldn't be any inequalities for them at all. Don't genderise so much kids stuff and there won't be an issue to drag them into.

verylittlecarrot · 22/11/2012 14:22

wow, the creativity that the marketers must have needed to produce that little gem, Grimma.

"right so, one player will have pink sparkly counters, and the other obviously must have pink sparkly cou...oh, wait"
I expect they changed the rules so that you don't really need 4 in a row to win. Just one. After all, it is for girls.

MurderOfGoths · 22/11/2012 14:32

Was out shopping today, just thought I'd say, big big thumbs up to WH Smiths, big thumbs down to TK Maxx

Lancelottie · 22/11/2012 14:43

Creeping on here in a most ungrateful way, as I just posted a plea for suggestions for toys for 11 yr old DD.

Suggestions included nail art. In whose world is that a toy? How do you play with it?

(To be fair, lovely kind MNers also came up with suggestions of cameras, microscopes, and a rather splendid, non-pink, DIY castle which DS will probably coopt for stop-motion scenery.)

GrimmaTheNome · 22/11/2012 14:51

Lancelottie - link to your thread here and I'm sure we can oblige with more. Grin I've got a 13 year old ..two years ago her main present was an electronics set and a soldering iron. Maybe not exactly a 'toy' but more fun than nail art. (she did get some nice blue/green nail varnish in her stocking)

maillotjaune · 22/11/2012 14:54

I'm a bit late to spot this thread but I'm in too and marking place to come back and read properly later.

LadyKinbote · 22/11/2012 15:35

What happened to the survey? Do we have one? Shall we pick a shop each for the weekend?

fuzzpig · 22/11/2012 15:44

This thread is a good example of what makes MN so brilliant :)

Count me in please!

It's reminded me of when I was late in my 2nd pregnancy and at macdonalds - 2yo DD was happily playing with the Star Wars toy (spaceship) from my happy meal while I finished eating. Another little girl (3 at a guess) tried to take the same toy with her as she and her mum left. The mum said "no you can't have that, it's for boys" and the girl had to leave her toy on the table, and she left crying! :( FFS! It was a FREE bit of plastic tat. Baffling.

Lancelottie · 22/11/2012 15:50

Thanks Grimma, but as I said I was just being an ungrateful sod. Same nail-art-bearing MNer also suggested a camera so is clearly just versatile!