Should feminist discussion groups be women-only spaces?

[sunshineandfreedom]

To clarify, I mean in-real-life, in-person discussion groups, not online.

I know a group in Cambridge had some trouble recently with male members insisting on 'playing devil's advocate' and talking about how feminist issues were oppressing men(!). That's the type of thing that I'd be wary of. However, there are of course plenty of men who are perfectly capable of intelligent discourse around feminist issues without being misogynistic twunts. Why shouldn't they be welcome?

It boils down to this: Should feminist discussion/activism groups be women-only, or should men be allowed?

Personally I am very conflicted on this, so am really interested to hear all your thoughts on it :)

There is always a feeling that women only things are somehow "supersexist". I think it is a reflection of society- women are expected to smoothe things over and consider everyone's feelings and make everyone happy. So it is seen as especially outrageous when they do something to please themselves, or exclude anyone.

"My male partner has strong feminist beliefs and could make a positive contribution to local feminist activism - why shouldn't I be allowed to bring him to meetings?"

I guess the answer, for me, would be - set up your own mixed sex meeting then. I would prefer to be discussing feminism in a woman only group, and that would be the sort of group I would join or set up.

Women-only for all the reasons everyone has given.

If men wanted to be involved that badly they can set up their own group and the two could join together for campaigns, etc.

YY to 'right on dudes' being some of the most entrenched sexists I've ever met...

I used to be a part of a women's discussion group, and men were allowed to join as 'supporters' but not members, and pnly attend our 'open' events. There were also a few who regularly joined us in the pub after the actual meetings.

I am in favour of women having women-only groups if they want them just as I think people should be able to set up black-only, or Roma-only, or Chinese-only.... or indeed Sikh-only, Druid-only, cat-owners only (you're not allowed to join if you have dogs as well as cats) chess-players only....

A specific problem which women-only groups sometimes encounter is transgender people and whether or not transwomen are to be allowed to join the group. Frankly an awful lot of time can be wasted on this and otherwise good groups destroyed...

Basically I would only be concerned about an exclusive group if it was a) large and b) depriving other people of some sort of facility or right or convenience that they couldn't get any other way. So, if your local women's group is not just women-only but specifically anti-trans and you don't agree with that, the answer is not to try and shut that group down, but to start your own.

I think a good compromise would be maybe to open up the last meeting of each month as a mixed one? Do others think that would work?

Because TeaandHugs is right when she says "If men turn up and start spouting anti-feminist rhetoric, those individuals should be asked to leave and banned from coming back. They also shouldn't be allowed to dominate the space and distract attention with "what about the menz?" questions.

That is a very real fear, and requires a strong leader of the group to enforce this and reassure other members that that person would not be allowed back.

Sunshine - don't see why not, if you're meeting often.

Sunshine: Oh, very good idea. And I also think that it should be clearly explained and understood that anyone who pisses off the other members and won't behave can be booted out of the group.

We were planning on meeting weekly, so it should work :) I'm glad to have found a middle-ground!

That should be the same for any group. Right on, always right, refuse to listen people can be annoying in any group :)