Sexism at work

[ItsMeYourCathy]

I work in the public sector and I'm 31. Ive become increasingly fucked off with some if the things that get said to me in my rather make dominated environment.
I would really like some advice as to comebacks/ what to do when faced with this shit. Before anyone says, I know I should report it and I'm really letting us all down by not doing so BUT (sadly and realistically) I know nothing will get done about it.
Here are some of the things that have been said to me over the several years I've worked at this particular place:
They should've covered you both in jelly and let you fight at your job interview
Do the collars match the cuffs?
Put a French maids outfit on (when soeaking about dufficulties communicating in French)
If you were thinking if having children, you should've let me have a go first
Your legs look lovely in that dress (whilst trying to speak about work)
Your boobs look massive, are you breast feeding?

You know, I could go but I'm making myself angry.
Why don't I do anything about this? Because I'm scared and I know nothing will ever change.
What are others' experiences if this?

Here are some of the comments directed at me over the last several years I've worked at this particular place:

Sorry about the horrible typos, new phone and clumsy fingers.

God, that's horrible

Are you always a twat or just today?

Did you have to study to be such a dick or is it a natural tallent?

One day someone will say that to your wife / girlfriend / daughter / sister (this one is particularly effective if you are saying it to the father of a young girl).

Who's using the family brain cell today, it obviously isn't you.

You can also rate the insults - 10/10 for sexism, 0/10 for funny.

But you really should report it. Are you in a union?

I'd seek legal advice actually.

OP, please report it. Do you have any witnesses? The public sector usually take stuff like this quite seriously. You don't have to tolerate this behaviour.

Reported.

OP I really would go to HR, this is horrible.

Fair enough MNHQ

I will say though to the OP please document all things which are said to you and make an official complaint. Witty comebacks are not the way to deal with this, it's harassment and they should be dealt with by HR.

Thanks for being so quick MNHQ.

Yes, that was so quick, thanks for that, bloody horrible thing to read. I don't suppose there is any chance you could delete the username as well, is there?

@GetOrfAKAMrsUsainBolt

Yes, that was so quick, thanks for that, bloody horrible thing to read. I don't suppose there is any chance you could delete the username as well, is there?

We've done this now, thanks for reporting!

Thanks Kat

Wow, looks like I missed the action there? Anyone want to pm me and say what happened there?
Thanks for all the advice and support. The thing is, i know you're all right. I really, really do...
But...
I'm scared. It's very 'old boys' where I work and I tell you hand on heart that nothing will get done. Nothing. The main offender is a senior member of staff and I am convinced is a sociopath. He is so skilled at manipulation, he would make it out that it was all my doing, as if I'd been lusting after him or whatnot.
My DH wants to knock him out. So do I.
The biggest kicker for me is I feel that I'm letting women everywhere down by letting these twunts get away with it. A colleague declined to support an existing male member if staff in getting a job and she had shit from a few of these other men for ages until she basically told one of them to Go forth and multiply as it were. I don't want that to be me, I have enough to cope with and it KILLS me that I'm too scared to report the fucking cretins

Hmm. I sympathise. I worked in an engineering department for four years and had twattish comments to deal with. One guy always talked loudly about how useless women are at driving/golf/engineering etc whenever I walked near his desk.

Other people have advised you to report it, and you should - but if you don't think it will get you anywhere then you could do what I did, either ignoring or looking pityingly at them, or using some of sassh's suggestions - Are you always a dick or just today? etc. even though it does bother you. Bullies need to know they've hit the mark. Unfortunately these men need educating - times are changing, but slowly.