Folks who are constantly the butt end of jokes are often humourless. It?s like the jokes vegetarians have to put up with, from the constant offers of a bacon buttie to the old chestnut ?but cows are vegetarian, so it?s okay to eat them?. Sigh. Sorry, it wasn?t even funny the first time, let alone the hundredth.
There?s a difference with jokes against women though. There?s a nasty, sharp edge to them. The whole, ?it?s funny because it?s true? is brought that much more into focus, because it really is true. Women really are expected to get back in to the kitchen and make their men a sandwich. There really are women out there who have two black eyes because they didn?t listen the first time. And those women are far more common than they should be. To quote the statistics on the Women?s Aid website*, ?At least 1 in 4 women experience domestic violence in their lifetime and between 1 in 8 and 1 in 10 women experience it annually. Less than half of all incidents are reported to the police, but they still receive one domestic violence call every minute in the UK?. So when you make a joke about domestic violence in a group which contains four women, at least one of them has probably experienced what you?re ?joking? about, and your joke is wounding her more than you can possibly imagine.
Women are constantly told, through the actions of society, through the media, through the jokes that you tell, that they are worth less than men. And if you hear something often enough, you start to believe it?s true. When you make some throwaway sexist comment to your wife, your sister, your daughter, and then cover it up with, ?Aw love, I was only winding you up!? she doesn?t believe you. Because she hears the same comments from everyone else, all the time, and so what she hears is that you don?t actually consider her to be as important, competent or worthy of respect as you. You are striking one more chip off her self-esteem, her belief that she has worth as human being. Why would you do that to a person you love?
From the more innocuous effect of sexism on a woman?s life, like the young woman who can?t walk home past the local pub or building site because of the heckling she receives, to the women passed over for a promotion she deserves because she might go off and have a baby, to the women who lose their lives, daily, as adults or a newborn babies, simply for the offence of being female, women are constantly under attack.
It isn?t funny. Feminists don?t need to lighten up. I will give most people who make sexist jokes or think feminists should get a sense of humour the benefit of the doubt. I will assume you probably don?t really understand the level of abuse, from the mildly annoying to the life-threatening, that women ? all women ? face every day. So I would urge you to change your material. Jokes at the expense of others really aren?t clever, and I suggest to you that the cheap laugh you get is not worth the pain it could cause.
Because if these jokers do understand it, and are still happy to join in and heap more abuse on women in the guise of humour, then that would display a dangerous level of cruelty I have trouble comprehending, and would make me even more scared for my daughters? future than I already am. There are already far too many men in this world who genuinely hold all women in utter contempt.
*www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic_violence_topic.asp?section=0001000100220041