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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

So much in society would improve if we removed the emphasis on PIV.

130 replies

AnnieLobeseder · 30/07/2012 21:54

Now don't get me wrong, I like PIV sex and don't believe it's quite as dreadful as some others do. But I have been thinking about the opinions expressed on these boards about how damaging it can be, and I see the point.

I'm a long-term married women with a monogamous partner who as has a vasectomy. So the risks of STDs and pregnancy are much lower (hopefully zero!) than for a young single woman who may choose to take casual lovers. So while I may enjoy PIV with little risk, for that young single woman, the risks are much higher than for her partners.

Then there are teenagers. Teenage pregnancy can leave a young women with much lower future prospects than if she had children later in life, and quite often the father doesn't stay in the picture. The cause of this, quite obviously, is PIV. If young people, and even older people who still face risks of STDs and pregnancy, were taught that ALL sex is sex, not just penetration, then everyone could have a satisfying sex life without these risks.

If there were no such thing as virginity, young people could slowly progress from kissing to oral and other sex acts without the need for the one big moment where penetration occurs.

I'm not a man, so I'm not qualified to comment, but I have to wonder if a man's orgasm outside of a vagina is really such a runner-up prize to orgasm within a vagina. If there's not much difference, WTF is PIV such a big deal? Is it a societal thing? But it's so widespread across the world that it seems unlikely.

Is it because PIV allows a man to orgasm even if the woman is uncooperative? Whereas with other methods, eg hand or mouth, she needs to be willing?

Surely if we removed the emphasis from PIV being such a big deal, things would be so much better, from there being fewer unwanted pregnancies, to fewer women suffering health issues from STDs or pregnancies (and men would have fewer STDs too), to couples probably having a deeper and more fulfilling sex life as they found new and creative ways to pleasure each other.

Yes, I know that I'm preaching to the converted for the most part here, and pardon me while I just get my thoughts down in print.

The bottom line of what I was thinking is, surely it would be beneficial to target a campaign at teens, instead of suggesting abstinence or pushing condoms (or perhaps alongside), with the message that All Sex is Sex, and All Orgasms are Good Orgasms. Spark the idea in their mind that perhaps PIV isn't the be-all and end-all, and that it's not an ultimate goal that needs to be hit.

Am I making any sense?

OP posts:
Malificence · 14/08/2012 19:55

Surely ONS involving intercourse are far more likely to have condoms used than sex involving just oral? It's dangerous to suggest that oral sex is less risky than PIV, what about herpes and HPV? Even mutual masturbation could transfer the HPV virus.
How many women (or men) would insist on a dental dam being used for cunnilingus for example?

I would hope that the vast majority of women have PIV sex because they enjoy it.

Krumbum · 14/08/2012 21:29

I'm sure a lot of people have both piv and oral, manual sex on the same session (for want of a better word!) so the risk would be similar. There isn't much public health awareness etc that advertises using condoms/dental dams for oral for heterosexual people anyway so that could improve things. Piv is just a much larger added risk. The risk of pregnancy is risk very minimised, being pregnant can mean dying or being severly harmed.

mrkidd85 · 27/10/2012 11:07

Why are people using PIV as an acronym for sex? It's a three letter word for fuck sake.

FastLoris · 27/10/2012 13:26

I'm not a man, so I'm not qualified to comment, but I have to wonder if a man's orgasm outside of a vagina is really such a runner-up prize to orgasm within a vagina. If there's not much difference, WTF is PIV such a big deal? Is it a societal thing? But it's so widespread across the world that it seems unlikely.

Well there's certainly a substantial difference. For me, PIV sex is a whole qualitatively different experience from other kinds. It simply feels, physically, different. I'm not expert but can only assume that this is an evolutionary thing, with our genitals and brains having evolved to attach maximum pleasure to the activity that will perpetuate our genes.

Having said that, I don't see why encouraging teenagers to explore other kinds of sex in preference to it couldn't be a positive thing.

ArmyOfPenguins · 31/10/2012 16:25

mrkidd: Because not all sex is PIV perhaps?

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