Rape and sex education

[EclecticShock]

Should the concept of rape be taught as part of sex education and at what age? Young people are heavily affected and apparently there is a distortion of rape facts being spread by peers.

article here

I teach sex ed to all year groups in secondary school. We teach it from an emptional and physical angle. We also do lessons about relationships, power, assertiveness and control. As we move up into about S3 (14) we link the two and discuss attitudes, beliefs, the law and consequences. We talk explicitly about rape, definitions and debate any 'gray' areas which might exist in the eyes of the kids.

I have never had a parent raise concerns about the lesson content. I also teach my own caseload for pastoral care so I generally will be aware of there is a young person who has been impacted upon. In fact all lessons start by repeating lesson values which include acknowledging that everyone brings their own experiences to the lessons.

I should have said that I received specialist sex, health and relationships education training. We only teach PSE if we work in pastoral care. I do share concerns about some of the types of lessons I deliver being led my someone with spaces to fill on their timetable.

I lol-ed a bit at your iChat stand, Stewie!

I'm looking forward to seeing the commercial and am delighted Clegg's launched it with a clear, logical statement (makes a change ...)

I agree that current teaching on abuse awareness, personal boundaries, respect and safety should be extended to include sexual scenarios. I also think there should be more of it. I'm not sure about needing specialist providers; don't they do most of this stuff from supplied materials anyway?

I may not want to think about the sort of people who'd be attracted to a role that focused on sex education for teenagers.

PSHE needs proper investment. Teachers usually get little training or support and sometimes don't even want to teach it but are made to because it fits with their timetable. It is not valued by pupils or schools, yet it possibly one of the most important subjects on the curriculum.

Rape myths should be taught for sure, I wish I had been taught them. I will never forget the shock when I found out that most women are raped by someone they knew.

Oh dear, that was an embarrassing cross-post, crisps. Sorry

'I may not want to think about the sort of people who'd be attracted to a role that focused on sex education for teenagers.'

You mean like feminists?

Me, garlic? Not at all!

I teach in one school in Scotland. I am also one teacher. I know that I have peers who will approach lessons differently. As an example, we teach online safety using CEOP's Think U Know materials. When being trained the distinction between pornography and child abuse is made
Completely clear - pornography is not for everyone but is perfectly legal. Child abuse is abuse. Therefore child pornography is not a 'thing'. Calling it child pornography makes it sound like it's just a matter of taste.

This point has been laboured endlessly to ensure teachers delivering use the correct language. I know that sometimes, some well-meaning teachers still slip into talking about child pornography.

I consider myself luck that I haven't had a complaint about my lessons. I stand by every single thing I teach but I do understand that some parents might be really worried of their child was to tell them some lesson content out of context.

I dont think it can be taught in schools at the moment, there isnt the commitment from schools and the standard of sex ed various immensely, there is basically none except basic biology and dont have sex/get pregnant messages.

There was a couple in SS school who became the talk of the school after the RE teacher (also PSE) decided them having consensual sex (both 15), was a child protection issue and involved 3 sets of parent (boys parents were divorced), this being despite the fact it was fully consensual on both sides and neither party wanted their parents involved.

There wasnt a teen left in that year group who had an ounce of respect for the teachers or who would have confided in teachers if they were in need of help.

Until teachers are allowed to put aside their own moral judgements and views on teenage sexuality, then I think it becomes a dangerous topic - there is far too much potential for damage.

there is basically none except basic biology and dont have sex/get pregnant messages in SS school.

sighing that kind of story makes me boil! It is interesting though. We discussed this very issue as a pastoral care team. One or two felt that 'they would want to know as a parent'. I feel equally strongly that young people are entitled to privacy.

Sadly, I hear of many parents who react in exactly the way their children fear if news of sex gets back to them.

Our guidance is that you MUST inform the child protection coordinator if you think the child is at immediate risk or is putting themselves in repeated harm. Coming to tell me they got drunk and had sex at a party doesn't class as immediate harm. The one major issue is when they wait until Monday morning to say they had unprotected sex on Friday and need the morning after pill. The clock is ticking but we are not allowed to let them out of school. If you prevent them from going and they become pregnant you could be causing harm.

Actually, linking this back to the topic, I have also dealt with rape victims who have not informed their parents. I can help them access counselling and, if they decide to in the end, tell their parents with them.

I'm sure it wouldn't make me very popular with some. I can only hope that I am doing the right thing. It's easy to second guess yourself.

One issue in my mind is how popular teenage culture plays on sex. However, it's not a fair representation of sex. It needs to be countered in some way. Girls are hitting puberty much younger these days but hey are not prepared psychologically. Boys do seem to be affected less by "when sex goes wrong". I do think sex as a means of power is acceptable amongst adults... I mean in terms of beyonce wiggling herself to sell records but how do you explain to children that she is a "persona" and it's not a reality that exerting your sexual prowess will help you in fact it causes untold issues.

Many of my friends did things with boys to gain respect and be liked. It's a problem.

Hand on heart as a parent - I wouldn't want to know like that - it was a Catholic school (like you hadn't guessed) a the boy was terrified with tales and threats of prosecution (by school). Don't know as much about the girl.

I do know SS was disgusted at the teacher as were his peers. He asked me and DH what we thought - and both of us just said we hoped he felt he could come to us - but we disagreed with the schools stance (it led to some very open conversations).

electric would that come under media impact and resilience?

I think the matter of Beyonce shaking her stuff is a great example for kids of self-belief, confidence etc Vs acting in a certain way to gain acceptance. Kids need to be able to debate these things out loud.

Several of my classmates at an all girls school has abortions by 15. This put me of sex. Could we do more to help children understand how easy it is to get pregnant and catch diseases in a more identifiable way...something they can relate to?

Fwiw, I think your attitudes towards sex are fairly aligned with yor first experiences. If teenagers are going to have sex anyway... Should we be encouraging consensual safe loving sex as the only way, until they be old enough to decide for themselves? Do we just need to be more Draconian about sex and less free? Popular culture paints the free choice picture...

Passme, what is she indicating her confidence comes from? I like beyonce as an adult but for children do they see past the visual images?

electric as an example we do one lesson where you get all the kids to shake the hands of ten others in the class. Then you pick one (pre-warned!) and say "oh no! Bobby has handypandyitis which spreads by unprotected handshaking" you get the kids who shook Bobby's hand to sit down because they no have handypandyitis. Then you check with those who are left did they shake the hand of someone who shook Bobby's hand. It usually ends up with most of the class infected.

You then produce 5 rubber gloves and give it to random pupils and repeat. Naturally the kids don't want to shake the hands of anyone without a glove on. This, obviously is a neat analogy for condoms. It's fun and very visual.

We also have disucssion about sex as a positive development with someone you love and trust. The BIG challenge for them is knowing when love and trust is there. Hard to teach that bit.

We link with nurses and alcohol counsellors who do further no holds barred lessons on the impact of alcohol on decision making and safety.

We do contraceptive lessons from s2 where we cover the full gamut. Out come the polystyrene willies. We do this yearly adapting it gradually. We have 'beer goggles' which make your vision go funny. We use these to replicate drunkenness.

I say all of this and I am not sure how many non-PSE teachers would know that we teach it.

Good question - I think I would ask them to look at a picture of her and tell me what they thought when they looked at her. What do they see? You will probably get a real variation.

I teach from 11 years old - I am not 100% how consistent sex lessons are at primary.

i think that in the context of sex education talk of rape should centre around consent, pressure, respect and assertiveness in sexual situations.

i also think that rape as an act of war for example should be treated in history / politics / modern studies classes and not ignored because it's too uncomfortable.

i don't think rape as torture or war should be brought into sex education classes but if the only concepts of rape that teenagers know about are linked to sexual attraction and sexual impulses that gives a misleading picture of rape as a whole.

Good point about discussing rape as an act of war.

Interesting discussion. Agree about rape in war (not as part of SE) and would want more awareness of military violence against civilians in general, too. I am still sometimes shocked by news of things that were done in historical wars - salting the earth, scorching the earth, child-culling, all sort of atrocities - purely to keep enemy populations down.

I'm LOVING your lessons, crisps!

garlic you're making me

Probably my lessons on anything else are naff to the max

Crikey! Can I just clarify my comment about consistency of primary sex ed? I just re-read it and it sounds really critical which wasn't meant. I was getting at the fact that in Scotland we have pretty clear guidance on what to cover. I am not sure of primaries have the same luxury

since i have been posting here my mind has been alterd on a number of things, but most of all where rape myths are concerd. I'm 43 and diddnt have the advantage of receiving crisps or one of her compemories tutalege. seems to me the kids growing up now have a much better education ,teaching on an emotional level.

i'm just suggesting that we have made an advancement.

I know for a fact that the teaching of pshe is not as good in my school as it sounds in crisps's lessons. Our pshe is taught by the heads of year, some of whom are very good, others rather embarrassed by the whole thing. The kids do not take any of it seriously and would be hard pushed to tell me anything about any of their lessons (possibly they can't remember any Maths from my lessons either).

I would love for pshe/sex ed to be taught consistently well but that is far from the case. The 3 schools I have taught in have had very different methods, from one school where it is considered a specialist subject with 1 fantastic teacher who spends her entire timetable teaching pshe very well and the kids being very knowledgable about sex, contraception, rape, etc, to another where pshe was sort of shoehorned into a form tutor's responsibilities with no guidance about how to go about teaching it, just a basic list of things to cover. My current school is somewhere between the two. I know I was well out of my comfort zone teaching pshe as a form tutor, as I had received no training in delivering that sort of lesson, I am a maths teacher, we don't do much in the way of debate and moral thought in our everyday teaching. I don't think I did too bad a job of it, but I certainly wasn't as good as someone with more training would ahve been.