Is there a seemingly distinct 'mummy track' where you work?

[GetOrfMoiiLand]

I was talking to my SIL about it. She has recently gone back to work after her third child, and has been shunted into a sideways role.

She said it was distinct after her first and second child, but is more apparent now, and there is a difference in the career trajectory in her childless colleagues and those who have had children.

Just thinking about where I have worked, a lot of them on the surface have made a great song and dance about equaliyt and maternity leave provisiobs etc, however a lot of the women with young children have been given crap commodities/portfolios/clients, sidelined into a non-essential role, give easy stuff to do. These are both FT and PT workers. Of course some of these women may well have asked for a less stressful role, but I know that some of them were quietly disgruntled. I don't know if they managed to get off the 'mummy track' and claw back their careers.

I know if I had a baby now it would screw up my career, in spite of the fact I have a very friendly workplace, full paid maternity leave for 6 months, flexible working etc, all that jazz. But all the soft stuff you can't define - it would change, and my career prospects would be affected.

I don't know if I am overthinking this or not, but I wonder how many workplaces are like this.

I think the hard fact of the matter is you can't have it all, great job and benefits, a baby, a the same career trajectory as a women without kids. A man who went off travveling for a year would not be able to pick up where he left off either.

'Claw back' their careers is a very negative view, you have to star back somewhere and in these hard economic times it is even more the case that you may start well lower/in a differenct place than you were before, but that is the case for many who have been made redundant also.

"I have a very friendly workplace, full paid maternity leave for 6 months, flexible working etc, all that jazz" - all that is fantastic and you should be very grateful that you have this.

However, it is still a mans world, especially in finance.

I don't know about not being able to pick off where you left after traveling. Dh and I did just that and it didn't harm our careers a jot. In fact dh was given a payrise and promotion when he walked back in the door!

I think having children has damaged both of us career wise as we can't just drop everything and work til midnight like we used to do.

I work with someone who had a sabbatical for 6 months and bummed around South America - she came back to exactly the same role and level of responsibility.

No, you can't have it all. For many years I have had a child, partner and great career, however I have zero social life and few friends, they fell by the wayside.

I was fortunate in that I had my daughter and started my career at the same time - so have never had to have any maternity leave in my current profession, and have kept my mouth shut about having a child when first started new jobs in order not to be pigeonholed.

I think also my view may be skewed by having worked in a very male dominated role.

I have recently returned to work after having a baby

I am on a pay cut of between £12 and £20k by my workngs out, due to a subtle but fecking horrendous change to how my bonuses will work. If I ask about it I know it will be denied but I know I will earn less this year and I am pretty sure I know why.

I have also been told I must now be less ambitious, less committed and less interested and the implication is that I am less capable and have "changed"

Nothing you could ever prove but yes - there are some definate subtle changes and they are not for the better

No, it's the opposite where I work. We are expected to carry on as before after maternity leave - including the long hours and availability at all times. There isn't really a "mummy track" to move to, even if we want to!

Frankly I'd welcome the "mummy track" option - though obviously nobody should be forced onto it against their wishes as you describe OP.

By the way, IMO you can "have it all" (i.e. top flight career plus children), but only if you're willing to take on the traditional "dad" role (main breadwinner, stays late when needed etc) and your DP/DH is willing to take on the traditional "mum" role (main childcarer, person who gets home for nursery pick up etc).

The fact is though that many women aren't willing to take on this split, and nor are many men.

Yes definitely but it doesn't bother me. I was late to motherhood and so I have been quite happy to work part time and not have to travel lots and work late. On the other hand I do sometimes beat myself up for not having made more of my career, but I think that is more down to me as an individual than having a child.

There doesn't seem to be a 'mummy track' where I work, although I personally was made to feel rubbish after my maternity leave. I came back from mat leave to find I had been timetabled with the most difficult classes in each year, with no clever groups at all to give a bit of variety. Most people find that they come back and are expected to continue as they were, and bosses are shocked if anyone says they have difficulties with anything due to childcare.
I have still been encouraged to apply for promotions though, recently they thought it would be a good idea for me to go for promotion just 3 weeks after a miscarriage. I am flattered they thought of me but I'm not sure they thought through the implications of going through an interview process while still rather traumatised.

Not where I work. We have about 5 people on maternity leave, we generally cover their leave and they are free to come back full-time or negotiate part-time hours in the same role that they left.

Minipie I am still expected to carry on as before after maternity leave - including the long hours and availability at all times.

I have taken the "Dad" role. DH does the nursery pick ups and drop offs, takes him to the doctors if he is ill etc.

I was working from my laptop 3 hours after he was born (only emails but still), working properly from home when he was 2 weeks and back at work fully when he was 12 weeks.

I work the same hours as before and delicer the same (if not better) results.

Put I know that this years P60 will show a drop of anywhere between £12 and £20ishk.. And its down to having a baby imo

Nope. But I work for a charity and we're all badly paid I guess our workforce have different priorities.

That is appalling catgirl. Will you ask them for an explanation?

There's no point Mini.

They will say "your new targets are realistic - you just didn't hit them"

Even though one of the partners said off record that he was surprised by them and perhaps the senior partner had made a mistake. He hasn't made a mistake. It's deliberate but I can't prove it :(

Can you compare your new targets against other (male) colleagues? Am cross on your behalf!

Thanks Mini

They also changed my role so it is unique and not directly comparable with anyone elses.........sneaky feckers :(

Have dusted off my cv.......and not a happy bunny

catgirl1976: your situation sounds incredibly similar to mine :( i have definitely been sidelined since coming back from maternity leave and I am 100% sure i will be worse off this year purely down to having a baby. It is also a v male-dominated workplace and they definitely see me differently now. I do leave at 6 every day (I would have worked til 9 most nights before baby) to pick baby up from creche, but i am always available again on the laptop from home once baby goes to sleep. it doesnt matter though. they see me as not reliable anymore and my previous seniority has definitely regressed. It is so so so hard to see my male peers being promoted ahead of me, when i know i am more efficient and smarter than they are. But they are there til 9 at night every night, can travel at drop of hat and there is no risk of them going for a 2nd baby in the next year or two!!!

sometimes i dont care, i prefer to be running home to my beautiful baby boy, but sometimes it makes me want to cry that after years of loyalty and working so hard and earning respect and seniority, i can be so easily and heartlessly left behind...

Can you do the job as you could before? well if you can and your ability to do a more senior role is not affected by you having children then I am not sure why an employer would want to sideline a good employee - they are hard to find.

I can't do the same job as I could before - I can't travel as much for one and I need flexible working. (single mum but it's my own business so I make the rules along with my business partner - we employ 15) but there is plenty to keep me busy - I have diverted my talents and others do the travel (I still do some) it's working for everyone - the staff doing travelling I may have done get paid a bit more - I've had time to expand the business being office based more.
I think we have a part to play in all this - if our situation has changed i.e. we want flexible working, we don't want to travel or work certain hours/weekend - we need to come up with some solutions too. You will be greatly valued if you do - in fact you may find valued more than you were before and do better.
Everyone one has personal life things that affect their job - not just children and the ability to see the situation from all sides will help you get ahead IMO.

This is something I have learned due to my circumstances. I panicked at first, thought it was going to be a nightmare but everyone has done well out of it.

Ok there are going to be exceptions to the rule - no alternative roles - maybe it's career change time or company change - again it may in the long term make you better off.

There will also be the nightmare situations and discrimination. But I always tell the people who work for me `do you have any ideas how we can make your job role better for you and the company'.

omri - that sounds exactly like me :(

I, like you, sometimes don't care as DS is worth anything, worth everything and I would rather be with him, but other times I get serious rage about it