Teaching girls it's not ok to be objectified

[enimmead]

An interesting take on an online grooming problem.

blogs.independent.co.uk/2012/06/14/let%E2%80%99s-not-kid-ourselves-that-%E2%80%98the-internet%E2%80%99-is-our-biggest-problem/

"So, rather than outwardly banning such sites or demanding that they drastically restrict their services for other users (I?d delicately suggest that some individuals may actually quite like the sex talk on Habbo), implicitly entrusting children with an awareness of their own boundaries and their own safety is a better way to go about it. Teaching them to value themselves is particularly important ? especially for young girls who are bombarded with a media that seemingly hates them for simply being.They need to be empowered to feel that they can say no; that their space is under their control. Young girls need to know that if a boy does something to them and they don?t like it, they have the right to be angry and the right to tell an adult about it without any shame or guilt.It also means telling boys that it?s not okay to objectify young girls or to feel entitled ? it?s not okay to harass them for attention, sexual or otherwise.

Habbo is by no means the only place that this goes on, and indeed sexual harassment goes on in real life, and from a very young age. While I talk of ?teaching?, I don?t mean parenting classes or even formal teaching at school, but a taking-apart of modern culture that classifies girls as objects and implicitly teaches them to consider themselves in that way. We need a cultural and attitudinal shift in society ? for as long as young girls feel they are worthless or that their worth depends upon how others perceive them, then predators will easily be able to take advantage."

That is also true - I couldn't fit all that in the title.

But I do also think it's important that girls need to know it's not ok to be treated as an object and to know it's ok to complain, to tell an adult and to expect schools or an adult to take it seriously.

And boys need to know it's not ok to objectify and to harass them or else there will be consequences.

Well quite. I'm pretty sure anyone who tried to objectify my DD would get short shrift, but how are we supposed to instill that sort of confidence in other people's daughters? Wouldn't the 'attitudinal shift' be helped considerably by a clear statement that the objectification isn't acceptable in the first place?

It will take a big attitudinal shift though.

While I agree with dittany that it's boys who should be the main targets, it's a useful ting for girls to learn. Essential, even.

I agree - and I do know schools aim to teach this, along with abuse awareness and 'assertive rights' - with a bewildering variety of success.

Some of my abuse recovery friends have specifically taught their DC about boundaries, including such matters as 'defining' and 'objectifying'. Girls and boys. Apparently they've already put this knowledge to good use in various situations (one boy told his teacher not to define him! Quite accurately, as it turned out, and the child even had the presence of mind to use language the teacher would understand.)

For every teenager who takes her top off for some plonker on a webcam, there's at least one - I hope a lot more - who tells him he's being inappropriate and she's reporting him :)

Children learn this very quickly. I think it's an inborn comprehension, which our cultures then go out of their way to erode.

I think a lot of the problem is boys viewing internet porn and then expecting girls to do what they have seen and look like the internet porn girls. eg to shave everything, be stick thin but have big boobs, to have perfect hair and make up and low cut tops and short skirts.

Most girls also are keen to have a boyfriend so agree to their demands so as not to be thought 'frigid'.

Girls need to be empowered to join together to change things, but doubt it will happen as girls sem to be encouraged to bitch at each other and thus not be suppportive. Just a tendancy of course.