Please dont flame me, just hear me out and help! :D

[addictediam]

I am a SAHP, when we had children we couldnt afford for both dh and I to work (we would end up out of pocket) so as dh has a much higher earnign potential we decided (jointly) i would stay at home and he would work.
I've done a few jobs from the home for example childminding and cake decorating, but i have recently been diagnosed with CFS and looking after 2 dd's is hard enough with out trying to run a business aswell.

So thats the back ground (and I'll also add my 'job' is childcare, all house work is split 60-40, dh does most of the night feeds as I cant manage it at the moment and I do 80% of the cooking.)

my dd's are 4 months and 19 months. I'm doing my best to bring them up to realise the worlds view of women isnt great and women arent feable creatures that need 'saving'. women are capable of working in top roles and should. i want both of them to have careers and for them to have choice in life.

My 19 month old like to copy (as most 19 month olds do!) she watches me care for her sister and has a doll that she likes to care for too.

I mentioned to a very feminist friend that for her birthday in october I was thinking of getting her doll a nice pushchair and also an ironing board as she likes to copy with that too.

Feminist friend was shocked and acted like that would be the worst thing in the world. i tried to explain that if i had sons i would be thinking exactly the same and dd has lots of traditional 'boys' toys cars, trains, etc.

So now I'm worrying, is buying her an ironing board and dolls pram really all that bad?

If it helps, DS1's favourite toy when DS2 was born was the toy pushchair. Children love to copy, so as long as she copies all the things you do as an equal to DH, she'll hopefully turn out quite well rounded. Presumably she sees DH pushing the pushchair too?

I wouldn't worry about it. Our children had access to both traditional boys and girls toys and it didn't stop D from playing rugby and son dancing ballet. Both work in technology and both are very caring individuals.

Must admit I never bought my dd an ironing board. Pram, a cheap crap one that was never played with.

If there is a balance of toys I don't think it matters.
Copying mummy is a big deal for this age group and v natural.

Is it worth me mentioning that I can't imagine much mileage out of an ironing board, while our cooking set thingy is still getting used now?

Also that ironing is IME deffo a job you can ditch if you want (thinking of your CFS) unless of course you are someone who likes the look/feel of ironed stuff. I iron about one thing every 4 months!

I doubt my DDs know what an ironing board looks like, but DD2 loved dolls pushchairs.

She also loves toy cars.

I wouldn't worry about it, my DD has a pram with dolls, but all of my children play with it, including DSs. Likewise with the kitchen, they all play with it. If she enjoys it why not. My DD also makes guns out of sticklebricks, she is nearly 2 and that is DS1 influence.

Don't worry, she will see all the things that you do, and just as importantly that your DH does, and see you both as role models.

DS1 has an ironing board. He used to iron at the same time as DH. He also had a Hoover but it broke.

Now it doesn't get used as DH irons when the DSes are in bed!

I think it's natural to copy all sorts of chores - DS2 is always cleaning tables with wipes, he's copying both of us there.

A balance is always good, would she prefer you only bought her boys toys?

get your daughter what SHE wants,

I remember have both a large collection of barbies and dinosaurs.

My son had cooker, ironing board, doll, pushchair and pet doctor barbie. Do what you think is best, it sounds like you are doing a good job.

My son had a little play kitchen and a baby doll with a cloth body that he didnt want to give back to my friends little girl after a visit when he was very small so my friend let him keep it. He often drove his little cars around the doll and used her as a kind of obstacle in his imaginary road, occasionally he would pick her up and say shush shush or carry her around, but he loved her. Toys are just toys, there is too much emphasis put on them, this was a doll but he used it to play with his boys toys with. Children should be allowed access to toys traditionally designed for both sexes as said alreay, they like to copy, but it helps their imagination run as wild as it should do also. He only ever played with his kitchen when I was cooking, copying me. He is a perfectly normal boy now, not surprisingly the doll did not damage him in any way...and his boy toys did not turn him into any kind of stereotypical boy boy, he is just a boy. There is nothing wrong whatsoever in buying your little girl an ironing board toy if thats what she wants. It would be more damaging to NOT allower her to play with things she wants too and force on her things other people think its politically correct to play with...she just wont play with them if she doesnt like them and waste you a lot of money.

There is nothing intrinsically wrong with a toy kitchen.