This whole argument reminds me of a woman I was a college with who found, through researching her family tree, that she had an ancestor who was black. So she decided that she would identify as black.
Eventually she left the course because she got a hard time at the black students' association meetings and because she felt that no one doing our course had suddenly recognised that she was no longer white, she was black. Except she wasn't.
I know it's not exactly the same but to kim's point earlier - I do know some trans people who I like very much and have a lot of respect for and none of them would dream of trying to crash a radfem conference because they respect women.
Making a big fuss about this is not about respect at all, it's about trying to make a point and shut women up.