Perhaps if people didn't insist of using the ridiculous term PIV and making this sweeping statement that the goal of sex as being misogynous, you'd get a better debate on the subject.
Instead with the initial wording of the thread, it gets started off with a wholly negative approach to the subject where women are straight away painted as victims and have no free will of their own.
I just feel rather than questioning whether RadFems think that PIV is inherently abusive you are actually doing the same thing, by saying its 'inherently unsafe'. And I'm not sure that the OP even in questioning the idea that sex is inherently abusive really gets very far at all from that line of thinking. Yes there are risks in having sex, but then there tends to be risks in pretty much everything you do in life, so I'm not sure that critically tearing it apart is helpful or going to achieve much. For the majority of women its a risk that they calculate and decide also has benefits to, for them as well as their partners.
When some of us say, hang on a second this is all bollocks, the debate gets turned to outside the first world and theres more sweeping statements about how women are the victims of sex.
Well yes of course they can be, but I also think its a tiny bit patronising and making massive assumptions to say its the only thing going on and how women in the first world are the only ones who might shock horror enjoy sex, and might have genuinely loving relationships.
My major problem with RadFeminism, is not only its obsession with women as victims but also its utter inability to look at things in a positive way or make positive comment about things. Its all about the bad stuff and theres no balance whatsoever to whats said. There is a need to associate everything with stuff that is inherently bad purely for debating purposes and to tar everything with the word misogynist, often to make things appear worse than they are and to make everything black and white.
If there is risk to sex, then I'm not sure thats completely a bad thing. The OP certainly makes the automatic assumption that it is a bad thing.
There are plenty of people who are drawn to risky and find it exciting and more attractive for that very reason. Why do people do loads of things they know they shouldn't? I think its something that applies to both men and women. Everything from having a quickie in a public place where you might get caught to having a full blown affair when actually someone has no intention of leaving their partner.
Equally, the element of risk, can make you stop and think and prevents you from engaging in things without considering consequences. Again, I do believe it goes for men and women, though not necessarily in equal measure.
Imagine life where there was no risk whatsoever in having sex... risk is a natural thing to control the balance of things in nature.
Having a debate where we are all supposed to go, well PIV is bad as it is risky and its used to abuse women is not a debate. Like someone else has said, thats surrounding yourself with 'yes women'.
Abuse very rarely, if ever, is carried out by PIV alone. Its accompanied by other forms of violence and abuse. Focusing on the act of PIV, I find pretty unhelpful really.
I've got to say, I'd have a lot more time for some debaters if they were capable of uttering a note of positivity and critically assessing something as having benefits as well as negative elements. Give women some power in what you say too, instead of helping to take it away. The world is not black and white, and I really do think it does a disservice to women to completely ignore another side of the coin, because it doesn't suit the argument you want to have and how you want to control it. Critically assessing something, is not just being sourfaced and saying how we are all victims.