This from my 3yo. My instant reaction was "oh no, I'm raising a vain/big-headed child!", followed by "I should tell her something like it doesn't matter what you look like" followed by "actually, why should I raise her to be self-effacing, why not let her be confident in her looks?" In the event, I said "yes you are" and gave her a hug. Because to me, obviously, she's beautiful. And who is to judge what 'pretty' is anyway?
I'm over-thinking this, I know, but is that the best line to take? I don't want DD to think her value rests solely on her looks... although she's already got the idea that wearing make-up and dresses makes you 'pretty'. I think today's comment was provoked by the wearing of a new hairband... She's in a phase of saying "I'm really xxxx, aren't I?" be it 'brave', 'clever', whatever. I don't want to undermine her confidence, but do I need to play it down more, or emphasise looks don't matter (which feels pretty hollow as in day to day society they clearly do) or make her aware how it can sound like 'unseemly bragging' to other people? If so, how? I'm posting this in Feminism (first-time poster here, be gentle!) as to me it is a feminist issue - there are so many messages she's going to be bombarded about what she 'should' look like, I don't know how to give her the inner resource to keep her self-esteem intact in the face of all that.