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Feminism: Sex & gender discussions

Sex positive parenting blog

33 replies

Bumperlicious · 06/05/2012 16:44

Just wanted to flag up a new blog exploring sex positive parenting. It's // It's still really new but will be worth keeping an eye on.

OP posts:
LadyCurd · 09/05/2012 10:25

Woo hoo I was just googling us as was about to add a thread on this to Bloggers section and found this. Cheers love.

Join us!

KRITIQ · 09/05/2012 14:21

I followed the link, but I'm a wee bit confused about what the blog is about.

The blog's purpose statement goes -

"This blog is a collaborative effort from various bloggers aiming to bring their children up in a sex positive way- one that celebrates gender and individual differences and prevents gender stereotyping and limiting opportunities by gender.

One which supports children to develop emotional resillience, good body image and self esteem, with good relationships skills such as communication, trusting, honesty and understanding of consent, and negative relationships. Sex Positive parents recognise that sex in an appropriate context isn?t shameful or dirty, and that we shouldn?t be embarrassed about the human body and what it can do."

I totally get and agree for the second paragraph, but something seems contradictory in the first one.

Basically, how does one "celebrate gender differences" but at the same time "prevent gender stereotyping" and "limiting opportunities by gender."

Am I missing something really obvious here?

LadyCurd · 09/05/2012 15:22

Not at all, that's a really good point! I literally drafted it two days ago and you are the first person to notice that. I think I mean celebrate the individual more regardless of gender but have phrased it really badly! Will reword and thankyou so much for pointing it out!.

LadyCurd · 09/05/2012 15:28

Is this better?

This blog is a collaborative effort from various bloggers aiming to bring their children up in a sex positive way- one that aims to bring children up to not be constrained by their gender or gender stereotype, One that celebrates individual differences and supports children to develop emotional resilience, good body image and self esteem, with good relationships skills such as communication, trusting, honesty and understanding of consent, and negative relationships. Sex Positive Parents recognise that sex in an appropriate context isn't shameful or dirty, and that we shouldn't be embarrassed about the human body and what it can do.

tumbleweedblowing · 09/05/2012 15:34

Super blog. Thanks for sharing.

SinicalSanta · 09/05/2012 15:45

But everyone is sex positive in that everyone thinks sex 'where appropriate ' is fine. Define where it's appropriate. I've only come accross the term sex positive in relation to feminists who broadly support the sex industry. I'm sex positive too but I don't think a commodities transactional form of sex is appropriate.

SinicalSanta · 09/05/2012 15:46

But hope it makes sense

plantsitter · 09/05/2012 16:04

Brilliant. Makes me feel v positive.

How does one contribute?

LadyCurd · 09/05/2012 16:14

Makes sense- there are issues with the term "sex positive" and it's a blimming minefield and needs clear definition which is what am trying to make clear in blog, with hindsight a better name needs to be thought of but is tricky to change the name on the blog now and had to set up the blog first, a few of us are thinking of others names but will leave it as is for now, until we think of summat better.

By "appropriate context" I was actually thinking I didn't want anyone to think the blog was about sex with children or having your kids watch you have sex or anything weird like that! (But I anticipate there maybe posts of "oh god our kids burst in on us having sex!). But obviously is difficult to define by who's definition of "appropriate" are we working? Any ideas how to better phrase that?

I think the blog may end up having a few controversial posts and at the minute I am not planning on censoring them but inviting people to comment and critique them but I guess we will cross that bridge when we come to it.

LadyCurd · 09/05/2012 16:15

Ah thanks! Plantsitter are you on wordpress? If so I can add you as a contributer? If not msg me and email and I will send you instructions on how to join.

SinicalSanta · 09/05/2012 16:27

Lady curd it can be a minefield all right. Remembered too late there's a debate on that term on this board right now and did not mean to drag the issue across threads.
Best of luck with theblog

UnnamedFemaleProtagonist · 09/05/2012 16:32

I knew this was going to be you! You won't know me under this name. I was suwoo.

LadyCurd · 09/05/2012 16:40

Ooh do you have a link for it? Will have a nose...

waves at No longer Suwoo :D

UnnamedFemaleProtagonist · 09/05/2012 16:48
AliceHurled · 09/05/2012 16:57

Like the idea, but as others have mentioned the name really is a barrier. I wouldn't want to have to keep explaining that the name doesn't mean I'm all for kids lap dancing. But it is a shame that the term has been appropriated like that, so maybe you can reclaim it.

SeaHouses · 09/05/2012 17:12

I think every parent would agree with the second paragraph, so I'm not sure what the blog is about. Is it to talk about sex education or something?

Nyac · 09/05/2012 18:44

In praise of Barbie ??????

I don't really understand why you'd take a term "sex positive" which already has a specific political meaning (pro BDSM, sex industry etc) and apply it to parenting. It seems a little odd.

I'm also not sure I'm understanding either why you would centre your parenting around sex. You've put this in Women's Rights, do you mean "feminist parenting" because that sounds quite interesting.

Nyac · 09/05/2012 18:47

The term sex positive was never appropriated. It was invented for the "rah rah prostitution is feminist" approach.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 09/05/2012 18:55

I would love to see the term 'sex positive' reclaimed, but I think you'd need to be really explicit about it if that's what you want to do ... otherwise it is confusing IMO.

I think the focus as you explain it sounds interesting and I've sent the link to a friend who I know has been looking for a bit of guidance on how to talk to her DD about sex in a positive way (hope that's ok).

SeaHouses · 09/05/2012 18:59

I don't understand what it is meant to mean though. I don't know what we would be reclaiming it to mean.

Nyac · 09/05/2012 19:11

Yes SeaHouses. It's not possible to reclaim a term that never meant anything else in the first place. It doesn't make sense.

I'm also not sure what is wrong with the term feminism, if people are talking about bringing their children up in non-stereotyped ways.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 09/05/2012 19:20

sea - I'd want to reclaim both terms. I'm sick of the implication that feminists can't like sex. Maybe that is too simple? But both 'sex' and 'positive' have meanings that predate that coinage, so it should be possible to say, no, actually we will use them in our own way, thanks.

I suppose that isn't so much reclaiming a term, as challenging a label, but I can imagine this blog could be a good way to do that.

LadyCurd · 09/05/2012 19:21

Talking about more than just feminist parenting though. Blog aims to look at bringing up kids not to be ashamed of their bodies, to support their development into sexual adults who can form successful relationships.
So yes sex education/ relationships education is part of it.

Wasn't using term in "rah rah prostitution is feminist" approach at all - was a term used by sex educators- eg. brook be sex positive campaign

We are pondering a namechange given the confusion but its one of those things you maybe don't realise til you have feedback! very helpful thanks.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 09/05/2012 19:22

You could do a blog post about it? It would be interesting.

I think not being ashamed of your body is an important bit of feminism.

LadyCurd · 09/05/2012 19:35

I think I will and do a poll!

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