'Boys and girls are different' - how to respond?

[Lottapianos]

I'm a feminist and I believe that perceived gender differences are down to social conditioning, including in very young children. I'm also an Early Years professional and I work with children aged 0-4 years old.

I have a colleague who often makes comments about 'innate' gender differences: 'boys and girls really are different', 'boys need access to outdoor play more than girls do', 'boys find listening more difficult', 'boys are less likely to be interested in books than girls are'. The listening and books theories I tend to agree with, not because of innate differences, but because adults' expectations of boys and girls are so hugely different, and young children pick up on this and behave accordingly.

All of this bothers me a lot. She's a very experienced and brilliant colleague and I have a lot of respect for her, but I am very anti-biological essentialism as I feel it restricts the development of all children (and adults) by putting people into boxes. I would like to be able to challenge what she says but I don't feel confident enough at the moment.

Anyone got any thoughts on this or any counter-arguments that I could use? I'm tempted to just throw Cordelia Fine's 'Delusions of Gender' at her!

Lottapianos, of course noone should make assuptions about anyone based on their gender, but that is because there are many exceptions to the "norm", rather than because there are no "norm".

You might find it interesting to look at some of the recent research into neuropsych, say the last 10-15 years or so, on how male and female brains develop differently in the womb, before parents are even aware if the fetus is male or female, so no possibility of any adult expectations being imposed.

I agree all children should be given all oppertunities, however to try and enforce "gender free" upbringing is ignorant and cruel.

I agree all children should be given all oppertunities, however to try and enforce "gender free" upbringing is ignorant and cruel.

More ignorant and cruel than trying to enforce a gender imposed upbringing?

You might find it interesting to look at some of the recent research into neuropsych, say the last 10-15 years or so, on how male and female brains develop differently in the womb

The recent research I've looked at suggests that brains of male and female fetuses develop along very similar lines when it comes to the way they actually work, but their bodies are exposed to different levels of sex-related hormones which determine the growth of their genitalia, ovaries (or not) etc.