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Original poster

Deadly Dads

15 replies

seaofyou · 08/04/2012 21:12

Just over a year ago I needed answers!

Why did ex abuse ds?

Why did ex continously attack my home for years?

Why did he constantly write untrue, hurtful things about me on the internet?

On my quest for answers I believe I found some of the answers in this paper below:

Deadly Dads

OP posts:
ecclesvet · 08/04/2012 23:17

I'm not sure that paper will help you much, it focuses on family killings and mostly cites newspaper reports rather than journal articles.

As for the thread title, 'deadly dads', that's true. 'Murderous mums' could also be true; the gender balance for parents killing their children is about 50/50, according to the NSPCC.

Original poster
seaofyou · 08/04/2012 23:32

Hi Ecc I found the research in there very interesting. Esp the comparisons mothers that murder is 5% according to the paper and the mother is often mentally ill. The father is usually in sound mind preplanning the act.

The bit about child maintainence was an eye opener to me...I had a fake petrol bomb and my door kicked in few days before ds maintenance hearing couple yrs ago. That was the start of many attacks on my property and stalking until a year ago which only ceased with the installation of CCTV.

OP posts:
ecclesvet · 08/04/2012 23:41

That '5%' figure is from this newspaper report ('Martin, 2006') and is referring to murder-suicides, rather than 'regular' murders as this paper alleges.

Original poster
seaofyou · 08/04/2012 23:53

this paper is on about fathers and mothers who murder their children! does it matter if the father kills themself at the same time or not? They still murdered their child:(

Ecc if you have a dc, has your dc life been at risk ie strangled by the OP (dad or mum)? I am not here to do literature reviews! I am hear as a RL parent whose dc life was at risk due to the behaviour of the other parent!

Do you get where I am coming from? You wont if your dc has never been at risk from other parent!

OP posts:
ecclesvet · 09/04/2012 00:01

"does it matter if the father kills themself at the same time or not?"

Of course it does, if the statistic that the paper says is for one thing is actually for another. As a RL parent looking for answers, I assume you want truthful ones.

Original poster
seaofyou · 09/04/2012 00:09

A life is a life Ecc....if it is taken it doesnt matter why as it is too late then! Only getting to the parent before they do the act actually helps...ie sucide - treat depression/ cold blooded murder - needs secure environment/non contact order etc

Of course I did want the 'truth' but the door of justice slammed right in ds face when I tried to get it!

OP posts:
Nyac · 09/04/2012 10:58

Yes terrorism is generally a male crime, especially terrorism against women and children.

There's also the list of all the men who harm or kill their children by "accident". There's a website about it if I can think of where it is.

Original poster
seaofyou · 09/04/2012 11:17

I would like to see that Nyac.
I feel someone was looking over ds that night as ds df let go of ds throat. However strangling a toddler is not an accident!

OP posts:
Nyac · 09/04/2012 11:41

Here it is:

dastardlydads.blogspot.co.uk/

Not just about accidents, but also deliberate harm.

flippinada · 09/04/2012 16:46

That blog is incredibly disturbing and distressing.

seaofyou I've seen your other thread - I don't know what to say except to offer my support. Wishing all the best to you and your DS - not much practical help I know but please do keep posting.

swallowedAfly · 09/04/2012 17:58

god the guy who sexually abused his dd for 14 years including repeated rape and battery only got 13yrs.

the sad thing is i'm not shocked, just disgusted.

flippinada · 09/04/2012 18:06

I know SaF :(.

Almost the worst aspect of (many of..not all) these cases is that the offender get's a derisory sentence; or even worse there's a history of DA/DV and/or the authorities knew but nothing was done.

Original poster
seaofyou · 09/04/2012 20:31

Thank you Nyac for that blog, the woman who knew her ex was going to kill her and wrote to a family member about it brought a chill over my skin. I know how that feels when police do nothing.
It was last June that I really was effected when a mum and her dd only a toddler was shot in their homes by the df. That absolutely terrified me into needing to inform police of ds disclosures (I informed SS but they did nothing 2 months earlier).
The abuse cases :(
Thank you flip for your kind words.

OP posts:
flippinada · 09/04/2012 21:02

You're welcome sea. Just wish I could offer more than kind words on a forum!

That blog is a devastating read.

Original poster
seaofyou · 10/04/2012 01:31

I know flip it has made me a bit jumpy tonight tbh. I can't read it as so horrific and 'wake up call' to me in my situation

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