Adding DH surname to my passport

[marshmallowpies]

Not sure this is the right section for this topic, but as a feminist would be interested to hear what others think...

I recently got married and didn't change my name - which DH was completely fine about.

I was talking to a married friend who also didn't name-change, and she said she regretted not putting her husband's name after hers on her passport, because she now has a DS and is about to take him abroad on her own for the first time - so may have extra faff at Customs as a result (i.e. of the 'why does this child not have your surname' variety')

I am expecting DD any day now AND my passport is due to expire shortly. If I do put DH's surname after mine on the passport, will it save me a lot of trouble in the long run? I have looked online for advice and some people seem to be saying a legal letter countersigned by husband is required to say 'I give permission for this woman to take my child abroad' or words to that effect, which leaves me a bit

Of course I appreciate it's for a serious reason, to prevent kidnapping and child abduction, so I'm tempted to go for the easy option and put both names on my passport. Does anyone know if there would be other implications, though - e.g. name on passport being slightly different to what's on my bank card/driving licence/bills, etc might cause trouble when trying to use the passport as ID?

The other option would be adding my surname as a middle name for DD, but we have 2 middle names picked out that we like already and I wouldn't want to drop one in favour of my very dull surname...

Victoria and sam - Our names wouldn't double-barrel well, and as I said below, we have 2 middle names picked out for DD already (one long, one short) and to add another name in would give the poor child rather a chore every time she has to fill out a form or give her name over the phone. In fact if I am being strictly fair I would drop one of the middle names already but I like them both so much...

Re. giving the child my name only - if I did this, DH would presumably have the same issue if HE ever took DD abroad alone. One or other of us will have this issue, one way or the other. So going with a photocopy of the birth certificate seems to be the easiest option.

Besides, I have my father's surname, I don't object to my child having her's - I just didn't want to change my name.

I kept my name but the DCs have DH's. I have been stopped several times going through immigration, luckily DH has always been nearby. I think I am stopped because the DCs are mixed race and look like DH's family. They advised me to take copies of birth certificates so I can prove I am the mother.

My DTs and I have a different surname. I've taken them through customs at various places throughout the world and never had a problem (I did have a letter of 'consent' from their father but never got asked for it).

I have been stopped at the Eurostar terminal traveling back to the UK. My husband was actually with me so no problem but I would carry a letter of consent and my marriage certificate in the future. The reason I have a different name is not feminist though - I am just too tight to change my name on a passport I had only had a year!

It depends on the country - check www.fco.gov.uk/travel in good time before you travel: some places ask for written permission, some don't.

Have travelled all over with my children with different names, from when they were weeks old to now oldest is 10) and noone has ever batted an eyelid. I have never taken birth certificates - can't see it being an issue and wouldn't think to worry about it

Am glad you clarified that you like Canadians marshmallows Wouldn't want to upset SGM, now would we?

2 years ago, I travelled with ds2 and ds4 to the UK. My surname is my own, theirs is dh's. No issues whatsoever on entering the UK but on our return. to Ireland the garda on passport control adviised that next time I should bring their birth certs to ba able to prove I was their mother as our surnames were different. It did strike me as odd that according to that way of thinking that dh could bring his niece and nephew abroad and no-one would bat an eyelid.

I was also tempted to whip my breast out and start feeding ds4 there and then but just wanted to get home,

Don't you think it is more likely that you will take her abroad alone more often than DH? I think you've got some cognitive dissonance going on there.

victorialucas sorry, I don't know what cognitive dissonance is...

Yes it is more likely that I will take my children abroad on my own than DH will, but in any case the simplest solution seems to be taking a photocopy of the birth certificate with me (or with him, if its him travelling) so the problem is solved without anyone having to change names on passports or otherwise.

In any case the level of fuss made at border control seems to vary so much from country to country, I imagine the best thing to do is check for that country specifically before travelling.

OP, not sure you are aware but you can have your passport in both names. On the picture side (ie what everyone normally sees) you can have it as "First Name Middle Name Your Last Name" and on the other side of that page you have it endorsed so that it says "The holder of this passport as First Name Middle Name DH's Surname". It means it provides you with identification in both names and you can travel in either name. (Very important if the travel agent is a muppet ) You do it on the bit of the form where it asks whether you have any special instructions (or something like that). Hope that helps.

I've officially kept my maiden name on my passport. DD has DH's surname.

I've travelled lots with DD (16 Mo) on my own, mostly to Europe and never had a single question asked about whether she is mine or if I have permission to take her away. I have also taken my niece and nephew abroad, (different name yet again) with no issues.

I could have just been lucky.

Has anyone been refused travel for not having a letter?

I've worried about this a few times as my boys have dp's name so I am different. I wonder if it is just applied to anyone travelling with children on their own and the name thing comes up when they're different iyswim. After all, there are lots of situations where children and parents might have different surnames and lots of other countries (Iceland and Spain spring to mind) where children and parents have diffferent names generally. It strikes me as odd that children could have the same surname as grandparents, aunts and uncles so would travelling with them be fine whilst a mother with a different name needs permission. Perhaps the parents' names should be on a child's passport.