Am I a feminist? Not sure if I fit....

[rogersmellyonthetelly]

I believe that people should do the job that they are best suited to based on their abilities rather than their sex. This is all jobs not just paid employment. I get really annoyed when I get called ducky or love or other such nonsense by people I don't know. I took my husbands surname when I married because I liked it better than my maiden name. I believe I can do anything except father children should I put my mind to it, and that if I was crap at it that is due to
My own lack of ability rather than my sex.
I challenge anyone who makes sexist remarks or implies that someone can't do
Something because they are female/male. My particular annoyance is when people imply that I should let my husband drive the 7.5 tonne horsebox because I couldn't possibly park it. :0|

I do however believe that men and women are naturally subject to different feelings and emotions in certain areas, but that both men and women should not use this as an excuse for their behaviour, nor insist that their feelings are the only right feelings iyswim.
I also love pink sparkly stuff and lipstick, high heels and having my hair done. Not sure why as pink and sparkly isn't really practical around horses, but I just can't help myself, it seems to call to me....

Read Cordelia Fine's Delusions of Gender. She argues that men and women are socialised differently, there is nothing 'natural' about it

Sounds fair enough to me

Are you going to hang around the section now? I think I recognise your name though so maybe you post here already?

Not all feminists agree with each other by the way, so there is plenty of discussion to be had!

Sorry, that post sounded a bit terse. Yes, you sound like a feminist to me too :)

I'll have a read of that book, but I can't help but think that women have oestrogen And progesterone which varies constantly, men have testosterone. Some days I have to fight to be rational about things because my mood and feelings are affected by these hormones, I have been known to get out of bed and issue a warning to dh that he should not take offence if I chew his ear off about a minor point as I'm not quite myself today.

What different feelings and emotions do you reckon those are, out of interest?

I don't agree with you and it's be a big part of my feminism that I don't agree with that - but that's my feminism ... it doesn't have to be yours!

If you don't want to discuss it don't worry ... I wasn't sure if you were putting stuff out there for discussion or just looking for some reassurance feminism is a broad church. If the latter ... yes!

I came on here because I get a bit pissed off in aibu when I read about how both men and women behave towards each other and because dh is insisting I am a feminist and I wanted to see if it's true lol. Oh and I fancied some debate, I'm an argumentative cantankerous old buzzard you see.

Of course you're a feminist . I often disagree with stuff that gets said on the feminism threads but I've got all the confidence of 30 years of lesbian feminist activism behind me - I'm used to thinking other women are talking shite

I use the term feminist because I don't like seeing it used as an almost insult or something to whisper quietly only to close friends. However, I generally tend to think of myself as just a fair human. So yes, I would say you are a feminist, but really I just think you are a sensible person. IYSWIM. :)

Idk, I think men are more prone to aggression, it's their natural response, but all men are different. Most species have marked differences in male and female behaviour. Take lions for example, the males lay around most of the day, the females hunt and look after the cubs. This is enforced by the males who are larger and can therefore win arguments about who eats first even if they didn't catch the food. Personally I'd be saying "piss off and catch your own wildebeest you lazy fecker" but it seems to be just what happens. I wonder if it would be the same if the female lions were larger than the males, or is it that the females
are less aggressive than the males?

People who think you shouldn't park the horse box may well buy into the neurosexism that women have worse spatial awareness etc. This comes from the same place as the women and men are different cos of hormones school of thought I second the suggestion of cordelia fine's book as she debunks that stuff.

For me if you think women get a shit deal and want to change that, you're a feminist.

Sounds like you fit just fine OP! Welcome

I also disagree with the biological determinism stuff and recommend Cordelia Fine's book, it's great. But as other posters have said, we don't all agree with each other all the time and that's ok

An argument might be that both men and women have hormones shooting around that affect their moods, to a greater or lesser extent, but that socialisation means that women are more likely to burst into tears and men are more likely to thump something.

Nature/nurture is an ongoing debate.

My personal view is that I hate the idea that "men are like THIS and women are like THAT" when in fact people come in all sorts of different types. My brain is "male" apparently, according to online testy things that I have done after being pointed at them on MN but I am clearly not a geezer! Meanwhile my DH is super with the kids, really patient and devoted (much better than me!) but he is a strapping rugby build person. Clearly a male, and I've seen down his pants and everything!

So for me, the "different but equal" position always seems to end up leading down a "women are like THIS and men are like THAT" path which I fundamentally disagree with. It might be true to say a majority of women are like this and a majority of women are like that - but how much of a role does socialisation play?

It's an interesting one!

Yes they do believe it's about spatial awareness, mainly my father, but in his defence my mother can't park for toffee and scrapes her car on stationary objects so often that we have considered a rubber buffer skirt around it. My mothers lack of parking ability is nothing to do with the fact that she is female just that she has the spatial awareness of a blind hedgehog.

Exactly. And that's the problem when we make generalisations about sexes based on individuals, socialised behaviours and pseudo science. I can accept they are some differences but there's a heck of a lot more socialisation. Iirc fine talks about that spatial awareness thing in her book. Boys are encouraged to do more things that develop that skill, but give girls a little while doing the same things and they perform the same.

Lol at male brain, apparently I have one of those too. It might well be as you say that more men than women have that type of brain but to call it a male brain is just daft.
I do get annoyed when people comment that dh is "well trained" as he does washing/cleans/cooks I mean Ffs he has hands feet and a brain, why on earth shouldn't he do these things? Does the presence of a cock get in the way of his ability to operate a washing machine?

YY I agree. More men than women do this, more women than men that.

But how much is socialisation anyway.

I think that because I like things that are traditionally "male" I have a very strong response against the "different but equal" argument. I only recently realised that if my personality was such that I liked things that were traditionally female, I would struggle to understand what people like me were getting in a lather about. If that makes any sense!

I personally go more for "everybody is different and equal" idea. Treat people generally the same and make or accept differences based on the individual.

Yes that is better andi.

There is more variation within the sexes than between them I think. Or something.

I'm another one who has problems with the "different but equal" argument. Under the headings of "man stuff" "woman stuff" my daughters and I would all qualify as men....as, in fact, my mother and grandmother would have done too..

you are a feminist.

Different but equal has been used by sexists to justify sexist treatment of women forever though. Each person doing the job that suits them usually boils down to women being domestic servants for men or in low paying jobs whilst men maintain male power and privilege.

There's very little evidence to support real differences between men and women.

If you don't support male oppression of women OP, you're a feminist. Wondering about differences between the sexes is somewhat beside the point.

even sacha baron cohen's model of female & male brains is by his own admission very dodgy as less than 50% of men have what he called a male brain...

So you mean Sacha Baron Cohen or do you mean his brother? Simon I thin?

Do you mean....I think

oh dearie me. not Sacha BC, the other one en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simon_Baron-Cohen

not really sure what Ali G, Borat etc could add to feminism & i think i would rather not know their contribution....