'Oh I'm no looker!'

[Hoebag]

I'm not sure if this is any way related to Fem.
I've noticed alot of women sort of downplay their and when women sort say 'I'm a very attractive woman' people sortof snort in disbelief or raise a cynical brow'/

I thinks its interesting in a society obsessed by looks we are still in some ways expected to think we are ugly.

especially young women, I hear more older women saying ' i was a good looking woman in the day'.

if that makes sense to anyone.

It's good manners to be self deprecating. In a woman, anyway.

Men tend to exagerate how hot/skilled/clever they are.

People tend not to like arrogance in anyone, but maybe men don't care about being liked to much?

why would anybody ever state 'i am attractive'? - attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder and not yours to judge.

on the other hand, taking a compliment is somethign that should be done gratefully and graciously and not brushed off or denied.

there's a million miles between graciously accepting a compliment and going around saying 'i am attractive'. one is confidence, the other is arrogance.

I don't think there's a million miles between them at all maybenow, I think that too is in the eye of the beholder.

but in what situation would you need to declare to somebody that you are very attractive?

why not let them be the judge?

[unless, maybe somebody who hasn't seen you - by email or telephone??}

Its just very British to be like that.
Doesn't happen everywhere.

It's not about openly stating you're attractive though, is it? It's a sin of omission really. Not declaring how unnattractive you are is often seen as being arrogant and up yourself.
It's quite common for women to moan over their big bum, thunderthighs, small boobs, frizzy hair. It seems to a kind of bonding ritual.
here's a good cartoon to illustrate my point

Men are brought up to aim for 'good enough' I.e. Ordinary looking = feeling attractive. Mr slightly attractive features in most adverts. Very accessible. Even beautiful women 'need' airbrushing. We are never good enough.

oh god.... I wonder if this applies to everything, that women rarely get the message we are good enough... So no wonder we cannot accept a compliment.

True about Mr Slightly Attractive, WTM. Whenever men tell me that "men are under pressure to look good too", I think, and say, that it is true, they are; but the standard of 'looking good' for men is actually very attainable for most men, whereas the standard of airbrushed perfection women are under pressure to attain is impossible for any woman unless photoshop is involved .

And I think it does apply to everything, to be honest. Not just looks. Women always have to go the extra mile.

I know some people who do say 'im a good looking girl' etc and the room goes silnet in embarasment for them, if men do it people laugh.

I think its true morev acceptable for men to be arrogant.

pride isn't seen as 'feminine'

Have you read the 'women talking endlessly about diets' thread in AIBU?

A woman unashamedly tucking into pie and chips, with no 'Ooh, I'm being naughty' comments, and really enjoying it, seems to alienate other women.

I know women who have to practically apologise for being slim when they're with other women!

"if men do it people laugh"

That kind of vanity is always going to get you an eye-roll - male or female, there's no difference. Bragging is socially taboo and whether it's a man or a woman that's guilty of the offence & however we react on the spot, we all walk away thinking 'what a tosser'.