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Feminism: Sex & gender discussions

Job interview

12 replies

SaraBellumHertz · 11/03/2012 08:48

So I went for a job interview, professional mangerial position.

On my way out I was standing with the director who had led the interview when on of his female colleagues approached and engaged him in conversation, after a couple of minutes she said "I'm sorry are you Steve's wife"?

Don't really know what to think about that but it feels odd. No big deal I suppose but am I overthinking it?

OP posts:
NearlyPastTheYardarm · 11/03/2012 08:59

It is a bit weird, but it likely just poor manners. Did it seem like a genuine query (ie are you Steve's wife, or had she met Steve's wife recently and do you look like her?). What are you worried about, exactly?

Dustinthewind · 11/03/2012 09:01

Well, are you?
Perhaps she was just trying to make those connections that link people in our minds. To place you correctly in her world view.
Is the MD called Steve?

SaraBellumHertz · 11/03/2012 09:10

Yes the director was called Steve - sorry should have made that clearer!

I suppose it was jut the casual assumption that I was not there as professional woman, but rather as someones wife. Afterall in an office an environment, in the middle of a day on which interviews are being conducted for a senior role, surely the logical conclusion is not that I am the interviewers wife?

Like I said I'm not worried it just seemed a strange connection to be made and I suppose has made me question how other people might perceive me.

OP posts:
The5thFishy · 11/03/2012 09:16

The female colleague was just being stupid.

SuchProspects · 11/03/2012 09:31

If you'd been male I doubt anyone would have thought you were there in anything other than a professional capacity. Unless you get that sort of comment all the time I would chalk it up to poor assumptions by the colleague, driven by a sexist society. It is annoying and unfair but not something you have much direct power to change.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 11/03/2012 15:46

I think she was being a bit thick, tbh. She might be forgiven if you had been holding the interview off-site in a coffee-shop or somewhere else sociable. And I suppose you weren't holding hands or gazing into his eyes admiringly :) But, as you say, why would she assume the unfamiliar woman standing next to a man in an office was anything other than there on business?

tethersend · 11/03/2012 15:58

She's shagging Steve.

catgirl1976 · 11/03/2012 16:14

Maybe she was expecting "Steve's wife" at the office that day and time?

Other than that it does seem very odd for her to assume you would be. We get lots of women in our offices for meetings. I have yet to assume any of them are there to see their DHs.

I like the theory she is shagging Steve Grin

blackcurrants · 11/03/2012 16:44

tethers I don't know if you meant to, but you just made me snigger. :)

SardineQueen · 11/03/2012 16:58

Maybe she was expecting you to move away and let her talk to steve more privately and the fact you didn't made her think you might not be a work person?

Dunno that's the best I can come up with
It's a bizarre thing to say

SaraBellumHertz · 11/03/2012 18:41

tethers Grin

It wasn't said in an unpleasant or particularly odd manner. I was just taken aback by the presumption that I wasn't there for the interviews, even though that would be the most logical conclusion since I am going to make a wild guess that she wouldn't have assumed that any of the men in attendance were the for social reasons.

OP posts:
munkysea · 11/03/2012 20:43

I think she probably had a moment of thoughtlessness and tactlessness, but the comment would rankle with me too. Can't STAND the idea of being thought of as someone's 'plus-one'.

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