was thinking the other night (whilst a bit pissed) that when i lost my virginity (20 years ago) it was a bit crap. Was on a campsite with my parents and best friend and we were 16. I was pretty 'innocent' whilst my friend certainly wasn't iykwim! I ended up with her 'dates' mate. I playfully pushed him into the sea (it was late at night) and he got cross then said we should go for a shower. Anyway, to cut a long story short - he's on top of me trying to push it in whilst i pathetically say no repeatedly (but really pathetically, almost jokingly (but beleive me- i wasnt having fun)). Then he came, got up and we awkwardly said goodbye and he left me in the shower. Then i eventually found my friend and her mate and they said they'd seen the guy who had said "yeah i shagged her senseless then told her to fuck off".
Always felt crap about sex. Do you think this has anything to do with it. Was it rape or was it just a shit first time?