A Make-Up (and general 'maintenance') Question

[PenguinArmy]

For the most part I don't wear make-up. However due to 4 month not great sleeper DS I've started sporting a bruised under eye look. The days when I have the time of inclination I've started putting on some basic make-up and I do find it helps my mood. Makes me feel happier and more confident, as much as I wish it didn't.

I also have a 2 year DD and when she see's me applying some make-up my heart sinks a little bit about the message I'm sending out. I also feel this way towards eye brow plucking, shaving etc.

I think I'm torn as I wish I had the courage to not do these things and having DD to watch (and eventually DS) brings me face to face with my hypocrisy.

What do other people do and how do you tally it with your beliefs?

Oh I'm exactly the same!

For me, the message I would like her to take is that these things should be done for fun, because you feel like it, rather than as a routine every day won't leave the house without it.

I also think it is a shame that it's mainly restricted to women. The 80s were much more fun! And I'm sure there are men / boys out there who would like to be able to cover spots / dark shadows without having their masculinity questioned...

IMO make up is fine if a woman wears it because she enjoys applying it and feels it gives her a boost. The problem arises when a woman cannot leave the house without make up for fear of how others will perceive her. That's not an issue with make up per se, it's an issue with the pressure society puts on women to look a certain way - big eyes, big lips, clear skin, etc. I had a friend at school and in the ten years I knew her I never ever saw her without make up, not once. In some ways make up was a form of armour for her, the phrase "putting on my face" really rang true with her, she couldn't bear for anyone to see the "real" her, not even me. I also have a cousin who wears such an incredibly large amount of make up that in photos she looks like a scary wax work. She is so desperate to cover her face that she can't see that the make up looks ridiculous.

My main gripe with make up is the ridiculous amount of money people seem to waste on it. Cosmetics companies make incredible amounts of money developing "new" and "improved" foundation/mascara/ear enhancer and convincing women that they must have it when in fact it's all pretty much the same gloop in different packaging.

I don't think you should guilt yourself into not doing it if it makes you feel happier.
When we did the 'resisting compulsory femininity' thread the interesting thing was how most of us could let go of loads of beauty practices without a pang, but often there were a few core ones we kept because we didn't feel right without them.
You can understand all the analysis about the beauty myth and how oppressive these things can be, but you are still a person living in a patriarchy and have been conditioned in a certain way, and understanding the arguments doesn't make you magically rise above it. IME, there are things that reading feminist analysis makes you stop wanting to do (high heels, in my case - I wouldn't feel empowered by them having read Sheila Jeffreys), but if you do still want to do something, don't torture yourself by not allowing yourself to.

I agree.

Lately there was a post saying, I don't wear makeup for me, I wear it so other people think I look nice. (It wasn't this section, I don't think) I thought, how refreshing to hear someone say that, it's not just me!

I don't think there's anything wrong with that, it's totally fine as long as wearing it's a bonus, rather than not wearing it a trial.

Sometimes it's just fun too, a bit of creativity, which is great.

I see what people are saying and on those nights I have a good batch of sleep I look in the mirror and actively say to myself 'I don't need make-up I look great today'.

Good to hear peoples thought as obviously I'm at a point where I need to collect mine.

I think there's a point when it gives one a boost to appear healthy, even if you're feeling less than 100% because of things like lack of sleep...! It's a bit like the act of smiling - even if you don't feel like it - can actually make you feel happier.

I share your qualms PA about using make-up and what message it's sending DD (who already imitates me by applying pretend "cream" on her face etc.). But I would still find it hard to stop wanting to brighten my face up a bit and hope I can send positive messages in other ways about self-image....

It's funny, I wasn't really on the resisting compulsory femininity thread, but I did ditch some things (cut hair very short, don't really wear makeup.)

But there were a couple of things I am very tied to - one is eyebrows (mine are blonde, I perform on stage and NEED eyebrows and eyeliner otherwise I basically look eyeless!) and the other is shaving pits! (don't do legs and don't care a bit, but pits has been impossible to drop.)

Considering my frankly minimal beauty regime, DD (aged 8) is very attached to all things cosmetic. Nail varnish and lip gloss feature heavily. I hope it's just play, and the two boys have equal access to makeup etc so hopefully the message isn't too bad.

My mum never wore make-up, did brows etc when we were younger, so I know that simply isn't enough. I guess it's making sure that conversations take place as well once they are old enough.

I think sometimes mums are too worried about 'if I wear make up mu daighter will'

My mum rarely wore make up and even on special occasions wore minimal, I on the other hand was wearing a full face to school from being 11 and I mean a full face as did all my friends,

Yes, Archemedes has a point - I suspect peer pressure can be a stronger factor than maternal mimicry when it comes to things like a desire to wear make-up....

I think so imo I mean especially in your teen years the last thimg you wanna look like is your mum.

*thing I cant spell ffs