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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

He only does it because he likes you...

8 replies

WidowWadman · 15/02/2012 17:12

viewsfromthecouch.com/2012/02/12/you-didnt-thank-me-for-punching-you-in-the-fac/

Fantastic post (in my opinion) on playground teasing. I'm certainly not going to feed my daughters that line.

OP posts:
KRITIQ · 15/02/2012 17:27

Yep, it's worrying that this old chestnut is often trotted out, I think almost without thinking, to brush off sexual bullying with a pot answer.

My worry though is that from a young age, girls begin to absorb the message that teasing, bullying and intimidation from boys is a sign of affection - that they should be flattered by the attention even. It's not surprising that many young women (well and women of any age,) feel ill-equipped to set clear personal boundaries in relationships and have developed a high level of tolerance of controlling behaviour which frankly, they've been conditioned to believe is "normal" or even "good."

Just stumbled across this really excellent video made by a young woman in America. It's more teenagers than playground, but it does show just how porous the line between acceptable and unacceptable behaviour can be, until you look at it full on. The Line

Crushinghard · 15/02/2012 17:45

Thank you for that link, have shared it.

EdithWeston · 15/02/2012 17:47

The only time I've come across this in RL was someone attempting to excuse her cat spitting then lunging claws out...

ReclaimingMyFuckingLife · 15/02/2012 17:49

Thanks for that link, quite right.

solidgoldbrass · 15/02/2012 18:34

ONe of the best ways to counter that line is by comparing it to what people say about their vile pet that has just shat on you/bitten you/spunked up your leg and pointing out that even if whoever is mistreating you is doing it for this reason, he needs to be taught (perhaps with a rolled-up newspaper across the nose) better ways of interacting.

fortyplus · 15/02/2012 18:39

As a mum of two boys I'd like to echo the sentiment 'My worry though is that from a young age, girls boys begin to absorb the message that teasing, bullying and intimidation from other boys is a sign of affection friendship ' No it's not - it's nasty and spiteful. It's not only girls that are victims of this mentality.

WidowWadman · 15/02/2012 19:33

fortyplus - of course, you're right.

OP posts:
BoneyBackJefferson · 15/02/2012 19:33

The problem is that it doesn't stop at primary school.

It develops into
"its just a bit of fun"

Taking a pencil case - "its just a bit of fun"
comments on clothes - "its just a bit of fun"
being pantsed - "its just a bit of fun"

The bigger problem is that the pupils (both male and female) learn this not only from the playground but from their parents.

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