I feel uneasy about this...

[BertieBotts]

I was reading an article about "modern relationships" on the Independent, and one of the people mentioned was this man: www.mikelousada.com/5/Session-Types.html

As you can see as part of his therapy he offers "intimate massage" which includes, well, intimate massage. Obviously it's spelled out on his page and he states that he would not do it without full consent, but it still seems a little... odd to me. I can't quite put my finger on why, but it seems distasteful.

What do others think? Acceptable, or really not?

Yes widowwadman that's exactly what I can't get my head round either....v surprised by WOlf's article, esp the end

Wolf: "I am going to send a friend who is single and who does not have my qualms-to give me a first hand decription of the whole treatment"

You wouldn't do that to a friend if you thought the man was a charlatan and abusing the therapist/client relationship would you? Just out of curiosity...

Hmm... this reminds me of an article I read once about a particular group of female sex workers who specialised in working with men who had never had a sexual encounter (too shy, too disabled etc). Obviously I have only the journalist's account to go by, but it sounded like the sex workers really thought through what would help the men, in terms of emotional as well as physical interactions, and that the men enormously appreciated the experience, and sometimes gained enough confidence from it to start dating normally.

Of course there are risks of exploitation on both sides... but I can also see why, properly handled with informed consent and the option for either party to withdraw at any point, it might be a fulfilling experience for all involved.

He's a predator though. He blindfolds women, tries to get them to take their clothes off, takes them into his bedroom and doesn't want to take no for an answer. He's acting out some kind of creepy fetish, it's not a social service. The woman in the second article doesn't even feel able to say no when he's putting food in her mouth. He's trangressing all sorts of boundaries.

Yes that fruit thing was not funny.

And the fact that he uses this "I do yoni fondling - are you questioning my professional expertise?" thing when Naomi W demurred at going that far, was not the sign of someone who respects his clients.

He's pretty revolting.

Is it possible that he is actually an invention? I'm still having difficulty believing that he's real.

Apart from anythign else, surely any intelligent woman would be cringing with embarrassment at his yoni fondling, rather than declaring to the world how flushed and joyful it made her? This 1970's throwback who looks like Tony Ferrino's little brother has just made you come and you're going to purple-prose about it? I know Naomi W has lost it, but surely even she would have more sense of how ridiculous this makes her look?

I seriously wonder if the whole thing's a set-up.

It would be a very elaborate hoax, with so much press coverage, so I think Poe's law applies and it indeed is a real one.

I doubt he is treating traumatised women.

My instinct tells me his clientele are wealthy women who know exactly what they are paying for.
Having said that I bet women find they fall for him and so keep coming back for more

Sorry that was a bit random.
I just really imagine that this guy is not seeing people who are in distress, it's a strong hunch.

Arf at:

"Thank you for your care, tenderness and professionalism. It certainly went very deep?
Patricia

He'd be more likely to be treating vulnerable traumatised women, who can't tell him to fuck the fuck off when he attempts to transgress their boundaries. You can see from the way he tries to pressurise the women into doing what he wants sexually, like touching their genitals. Predators seek out the vulnerable not the strong.

Oh god having now read that Naomi Wolf article I now feel actually sick.

Pass the brain bleach...

SQ - according to his website and to some of the advertorials newspaper articles linked from his website "healing traumatised women" is one of his specialitys and he hopes to get his services covered by the NHS.

www.121doc.co.uk/news/radical-female-sexual-dysfunction-treatment-6411.html

www.metro.co.uk/lifestyle/877303-orgasm-guru-wants-to-bring-his-services-to-the-nhs

hopes to get his services covered by the NHS

I can't really see that one happening, personally

Taxpayers money?

Well given some of the damn fool things they spend it on, I suppose it's not totally beyond the bounds of possibility...

He is a former investment banker, so he probably feels entitled to a share of the public purse, as well as easy access to fanny yoni.

I've googled 'yoni massage' and read the first page of sites. Omg, I've been leading a sheltered life

What worries me more isn't that these guys are doing this but that it implies that lots of women aren't getting this kind of 'attention' in their relationships. Is this sad but true?

Oh man, I read a bit of the Naomi Wolf article and it's clear there's alot more to the services he offers than what's described in the website. It's not like, say when you visit a massage therapist and say, "I'll have an Indian Head massage, back and shoulders and a foot rub," they tell you what it will cost, and then proceed with what is agreed. It sounds as though "pushing the boundaries" is inherent in the service. It's like asking for a back massage and while you are in an altered, blissful state, starts giving you colonic irrigation (then charges you extra for the extra service!)

No, the pushing boundaries is definitely the wrong bit of it all and would be the case whether this were a male or a female "practioner" and whether or not the client was male or female.

Sexual predation like this is highly gendered. It's generally a male thing. What he's doing is part of that wider context, where men are encouraged to help themselves to what they want from women, and women are trained to ignore their feelings of discomfort or lack of consent, as demonstrated by the female journalists' articles.

Naomi Wolf displays her boneheadedness yet again, by pretending that him getting paid to sexually abuse and exploit female clients suddenly undermines the reality of the sex industry's exploitation of women. It's all very grim.

The whole "Your wounds were inflicted by men so they can only be healed by a man" thing is a bit ick to me. It reminds me of that video that was doing the rounds of facebook etc a while back where a bunch of beardy hippy men held hands and apologised to womankind for mankind's crimes against them.

Nice thought, but, no. What is the point of that? I don't want a man who has never abused a woman in his life standing up and apologising to me who has been abused by a real life man, who is probably still abusing women and not giving a damn about it, never mind apologising. Who are you to apologise for him? What difference does it make? It's just ludicrous when the refuges are full to bursting and they're standing there holding hands and singing a song about it? Fuck off!

Also the whole thing about these reviews where the women are unsure and he's clearly overriding their boundaries but then they are gushing about him, just seems alarming to me. It reminds me of that abusive man thing where women always say "But he's so nice the other 90% of the time" or "He's a great dad" - when, objectively, he isn't at all. But when he's interacting with the DC or he's in a "normal" mood it's such a contrast to his abusive bastard ways that he seems like the nicest, gentlest man in the world in comparison. I could see how this Mike comes across this way too, to women who have really been damaged by their relationships with men.

:(

Yes Bertie your last paragraph makes much sense to me

Grim and depressing

The other paragraphs do too btw! I have just been particularly baffled by Wolf etc and this clarifies it in my mind hence pp

Do his " Services" progress to full on sex or is it just fanny yoni diddling?