Dressing "smart" to be taken seriously

[buggyRunner]

Just wondering if others have this problem.

Don't know if it's relevant and this is a self boasting thread. Yet I look younger than my age and ppl class me as attractive.

I find that if I dress 'nice' ie wear a dress, make up and put my hair down, I am not taken seriously. I find that ppl at work will dismiss me as a young girl and not give me the same respect as when I wear trousers, hair up no make up.

I some women act warmer when I dress down too.

I would never think a man would have this problem. I don't dress provocatively but like to take pride in my appearance- so why does this dumb me down?

Like LRD, I am a D cup, I don't think that is bigger than average, yet I have never found a shirt that does not gape.

So I have to wear tops that cling to my figure. I don't want cleavage on display, but a high-necked jersey top looks really odd under a suit.

I find that everyone - male and female - treat me much better when I am styled in business uniform of a black or grey suit, have pinned up my hair aand have spent ages making my make up seem "natural". Frumpy clothes make us look unconfident, or behind the times.

LDR your brother works in the same environment as me. Suits are not appropriate, as are jeans - which is why most of us wear tunic/ leggins combo- yet it just fustrates me that it is perceived as my fault if I am objectified.

Fwiw I would not wear a skirt above the knee and my make up is half of what my 60 year old colleagues wear. If I don't wear make up I am asked of I am ill

Wish we had a uniform

I work in a hostel/supported accommodation and our dress code is smart casual. I usually wear a "day" dress over leggings or jeggings or jeggings/jeans with a top. Flat shoes - ballet pumps or boots in winter, and sandals in summer.

My boss (hostel manager) wears trainers, jeans and a t-shirt, occasionally he wears chino type trousers. Other male colleagues wear jeans with a casual shirt, females wear jeans/trousers with a t shirt/blouse jumper etc.

Some of the other scheme managers wear more formal clothing, and all head office staff wear suits, although thinking about it, I've never seen the Chief Exec in a suit!

I wear minimal make up, but enough for me to be able to leave the house

The only thing I have to consider is cleavage - I either buy things that aren't low cut, or wear a higher cut top underneath. I'm a 36 E so it's pretty hard to get away from the fact that I have boobs! Any matter of inappropriateness or sexual harrassment would be taken very seriously - luckily, it hasn't been an issue for me so far.

Our clients were asked how they would feel about staff having a uniform and they all voted against it as they felt it would create more barriers between them and staff and breed a them/us divide.

If I turned up in a suit I'd get laughed at, and it would be very strange!
Oh, and I'm 24 but look about 16! Sorry nothing helpful to say but just thought I'd give you another perspective of someone who works in the same field.

Cogito I would never stoop to that level

I can be a terrible scruff sometimes especially when not out on site or meeting clients.

At the moment - sitting in front of the laptop with MN and the widescreen monitor with CAD - I am wearing a faded short-sleeved top that is too baggy, faded jeans that are too tight and flipflops.

Meeting a (male) client -or contractor if in their office, I have sometimes (yes Cogito I admit to the awful deed...) dressed girly as in "appeal to the male" but on site it's trousers and bright yellow jacket all the way.

I'm not sure that this "appeal to the male" is a good bet. If you happen to encounter a man who's absorbed some feminist ideas, he might think "She's trying to manipulate me" and do the exact opposite of what you want. It would be a question of knowing your audience, I suppose.

And I wish nobody ever thought that cosmetics are compulsory, anywhere.

but surely the most effective way to "appeal" to the male or female is to have the status markers there, in well-cut, flattering clothes. Which tend to reveal body shapes somewhat.

The compulsory cosmetics must look natural - which takes ages.

Many industries require a certain standard of dress...it's up to you if you choose to conform or not, although this could affect your career

Some require a polished look if dealing with the public others a more relaxed approach

Some you have to wear special protective clothing

I think it's all about getting on with the job with minimal interruption or risk to yourself and making others feel comfortable.

It's all about perception, I would be in two minds if my lawyer or consultant was scruffy, dirty and had unclean hair even if they were the best in their field. I'm conditioned to expect them to be neatly turned out, superficial yes but i'm afraid this is how I initially judge their ability

some spectacular point missing going on here.

the OP is not a lawyer wanting to wear jeans and a vest to work. one example she gives is being told she should not wear dresses despite the fact other female colleagues do. she is being expected to comply to different standards to her colleagues because she is an attractive woman - is that fair?

she's not being asked to conform to company policy or a dress code. no one has questioned the need for that.

OP I agree that your problem might be your youthful appearance rather than a skirts v trousers etc thing.

I had a similar issue when I last worked: I was passed over for promotion which my line manager said was because they needed someone with more gravitas. 12 months later, at the next opportunity, I was promoted. I had the same kind of feedback/client reports, the only difference was that I had stopped dyeing my hair (because I was TTC, not actually in an effort to look older).

I can only conclude that my badger-streak highlights gave me that extra gravitas they were looking for!

I remember a colleague being called in to a meeting with HR about her inappropriate dress - she was very upset and angry, because she tended to wear either skirt suits or dress-suit combos, and was always very well presented. Her skirts were never very much above the knee.

The reason, we concluded, that she was called out on it, was because she was tall, with long legs, and our female manager saw her as a threat. Other women who wore shorter skirts could get away with it because they either had shorter legs or were older.